Shattered and Shrouded
by Red20881
Summary: Isabella Swan has had a difficult life, but she has no memory of it. Her new boss, Edward Cullen, is a striking man with a dark past of his own. As their paths cross, her life takes a turn, sending her pain to the forefront. Will Bella be able to persevere, or will her past find and destroy her?
1. Chapter 1 - First Encounter

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

 **Shattered and Shrouded**

 _ **Chapter 1 – First Encounter**_

My stomach turned. It wasn't my first job, but it was my first full-time job since I'd received my degree two weeks ago. After a grueling four years of studying and testing my knowledge and abilities, I could finally put what I'd learned to work.

The black leather chair stuck to the back of my thighs as I twisted a bit in my seat. Regret pinched me for wearing such a short skirt on my first day, but it was the only suit I owned. I shifted again, scooting to the edge of the seat to relieve my skin from the leather. Somehow I managed to keep my heart rate at a reasonable pace, but my stomach was threatening me. Any minute my cookies would be tossed. Fidgeting with my fingers, I took a deep breath and stared at my hands until they blurred.

"Isabella Swan?"

I looked up into a pair of hazel eyes.

"Yes?"

The slender, dark-haired woman smiled, her ivory face welcoming, as she lifted her hand to accept mine. "My name is Mary Alice, but everyone calls me Alice. I will be showing you around today." I stood and took her hand. Her handshake was firm, a bit too firm, and I had to flex my fingers a bit to revive them afterward. She flipped her lengthy tresses off her shoulder and turned. "Please, come this way."

I followed her down a long hallway. I'd been here before, when I'd come for my interview, so I wasn't uncomfortable with my surroundings. I was, however, nervous about meeting Mr. Masen, the boss. He wasn't present during the interview, away on some business, so I wasn't quite sure of what to expect from him.

The door at the end opened up into a large room filled with cubicles. Everyone was working, busily talking on the phone or typing away on their computers. Alice led me down the middle aisle to the offices at the end of the room. Each office had a large window and each window had its blinds closed…all but one. I glanced through the pane of glass and noticed a blonde woman sitting on the edge of a desk, leaning toward whoever was sitting there. She ran her fingers down the front of her blouse as if she were trying to seduce someone. It was definitely not professional, and it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Alice led me into an office, and as soon as my feet passed through some unseen force field in the doorway the feeling of unease diminished.

"Hello, Miss Swan! I am Mr. Cullen, welcome to Masen Publishing." Mr. Cullen rose from his desk and walked up to greet me. "It is a pleasure to meet you." A wide smile spread across his handsome face. He was tall and thin, with an old-fashioned charm to him. Grabbing my hand, he pulled it up to his lips and kissed it gently. I had to catch my breath.

I couldn't believe this man was old enough to be my father. His face held few age lines, and his dark hair was combed back making his large blue eyes the star of the show. His light skin was smooth. Overall, he was an extremely attractive man.

Alice cleared her throat.

Mr. Cullen turned his attention to her. "Yes, Miss Brandon?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, sir, but you and Mr. Masen need to be in the lobby shortly."

"Ah, yes…" He turned to me. "Miss Swan, you will be working closely with my son, Edward. He and I will be in meetings the majority of the day, but I would like you to meet him before we leave. Come, my dear…"

He turned and led the way. I was nervous as we walked straight to the office with the open blinds.

As Mr. Cullen led me through the door, I felt the butterflies in my stomach shoot into my throat. I was sure my cookies would come up at any minute, because one look at this man sent me nearly over the edge.

Edward looked away from the blonde that was still leaning over his desk, and his deep green eyes caught mine. It took only an instant for his perfection to affect me. My head spun and my heart raced. His dark hair was in perfect disarray, a few strands falling loosely across his forehead. He stood fluidly, tall and thin, his flawless lips popped open in surprise.

Mr. Cullen motioned to me. "This is Isabella Swan, your new assistant."

Edward looked at his father in confusion, and then his lips pulled up into a striking half-smile. "New assistant, huh?" His eyes became dark as he turned to the woman on his desk, and the pleasant tone in his voice changed. "Leave." One word, but the authority in it was very clear. The woman slid off his desk, grasping the front of her shirt as if she were embarrassed. When her eye caught mine on her way out, she looked almost afraid.

Edward walked up to us and held his hand out to me. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

Hesitantly, I reached out and grabbed his hand, shaking it as firmly as possible.

He snickered. "A good, firm handshake – that says a lot about you."

"Really?" I pulled my hand from his and crossed my arms. "What does it say?"

He looked at his father. "You may leave now."

Mr. Cullen grumbled something under his breath as he turned and walked out of the room. It was at that moment I noticed Alice had never entered the office; she was standing in the doorway with her eyes on her feet. She turned and followed Mr. Cullen down the hall.

Edward walked to the door, closed it, and drew the blinds. My stomach twisted as he turned and his eyes met mine once more.

"So, Miss Swan was it?"

I nodded.

"Have you suddenly become mute Miss Swan?"

"No, sir."

"Good. Then when I ask you a question, I expect a verbal answer. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." I don't know where it came from, but I suddenly felt a spasm of courage. "So, when I ask a question, am I to expect a verbal answer as well?"

His eyes blazed. " _Excuse me_?" he growled.

I should have bitten my tongue, but the words erupted from my mouth against my will. "I asked you what my handshake says about me, and you didn't answer. I am only asking if you intend to answer me."

He burst into laughter. "Ah, Miss Swan, you certainly have a wonderful sense of humor. I think we are going to get along famously."

"I wasn't trying to be funny."

He walked up to me and leaned forward, so close I could smell the cologne on his neck, and it was intoxicating. For an instant, I thought he was going to try to kiss me. I turned my face to the side.

"Let me make something clear, Miss Swan," he purred in my ear. "I am the owner of this company. Yes, my father handles much of my dealings, but he is merely an employee much like yourself. _I_ am in charge, and what _I_ say, _goes_." He stepped back and turned away. "Since you will be spending a lot of time with me, I need to make several things clear to you." He faced me once more, rubbing his strong chin with his fingers. "First, you will never call me by my first name. My father is the only one privileged to call me that." He stepped back up to me, his eyes boring into mine, his nose inches from my own. "Second, you will do anything and everything I demand of you when I tell you to do it. I will _not_ tolerate disrespect. Have I made myself clear?"

I nodded and his eyes narrowed.

My heart skipped a beat. "I mean, _yes_ , _sir_." Annoyance painted my tone.

"Watch yourself, Miss Swan." He frowned and turned. "I will be occupied today, so Alice will assist you for the time being." He walked back to his seat and sat down, immediately sifting through some paperwork on his desk.

I stood, with my hands behind my back, waiting for instructions. A minute or two passed before he looked up at me.

"I _said_ …Alice…will…assist…you. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then _leave_."

"Yes, sir."

I turned and walked out of his office, closing the door quietly behind me. At first, I was terrified, then, as the fear of his petulance wore off, I was appalled by his behavior. _Who the hell does he think he is? Oh, yeah, the owner of the company._ I'm sure the expression on my face revealed exactly what I was thinking. When I noticed the silence, I looked up, and every eye, from over every cubicle, was on me. A moment passed before employees sat back to their work, the sound of computer keys and telephone conversations resuming.

"Miss Swan?"

I turned and Alice was standing beside me.

"Let me show you around." I followed her down the aisles as she introduced me to each member of staff. There were twenty employees, only four of them were men. I forgot their names almost immediately; I'd always been terrible at remembering names.

After the introductions, she showed me to the conference room. "Wait here," she said and slipped out of the room.

The conference room blinds were open, so I could see the office area. Mr. Cullen stepped out of his office and walked to his son's door. A few seconds after knocking Edward appeared, and the two of them walked down the aisle and out the entrance. Mere seconds passed before Alice appeared again.

"Okay, Miss Swan…"

I cut her off. "Please, call me Bella."

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, only Mr. Cullen and Mr. Masen are allowed to call us by our first name. It's office policy. We can only address each other by our last names."

"Are you serious?"

She snickered. "Yes, but when the cat is away, the mice will play!" She winked at me.

I smiled. "I understand."

"Okay, Bella, let's get you to your office."

"Office?"

"Yes, aren't you the lucky one."

She led me back to Edward's office.

"Am I going to be…"

"No, you are not going to be _in_ his office, per se." She led me to a door in the corner of the room and opened it. It was a small, windowless room with a desk. On the desk was a computer and phone.

"You mean…"

"Yes, your office is within his. You must be here promptly at seven thirty every morning."

"But, I thought my hours started at eight."

"Yes, but you'll want to be here before Edward arrives…trust me."

I wasn't sure what she meant, but judging from my first impression of him, I was sure I didn't want to find out.

I sat down and looked up at Alice who was leaning against the door frame.

"So, what am I supposed to do?"

"Well, your job for today is very simple. You only do what Mr. Masen asks you to do. Since he is busy today, you pretty much will just sit here and wait for the phone to ring."

"Who will be calling me?"

"Edward."

I'm not sure what my face revealed, but Alice laughed. "Dear me, Bella, you are Edward's assistant. He is the only one with the number to this phone. When he calls, you answer and do what he asks of you. It is that simple. If you need anything, you know where I'll be. The cubicles aren't numbered, but if you remember, mine is the last one on the left."

I nodded. "Yes, I remember."

"Oh, and don't use the computer or phone for personal use. Trust me, he has a way of finding out things. Sometimes I think this place is bugged, or full of hidden cameras." She winked at me and walked away.

I sat back and contemplated quitting, but it was my first job, and today seemed to be the easiest day. If Edward was out frequently, then maybe my job would be even easier than I thought _. I could put up with a jerk of a boss for an easy job…couldn't I?_ Besides, I was never a quitter, and I didn't plan on giving up so soon after graduation. I vowed to work my way up the publishing ladder, even if it killed me. This place was just as good as any other.

Hours passed as I sat, staring at the blank computer screen in front of me. I made a mental note to bring some books to read so I wouldn't go mad.I don't know how much time passed before my vision blurred and my head bobbed, but I eventually dozed off.

I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was dreaming, because there was no way I could be running through the trees, laughing with my father's hand in mine, while I was sitting in my new office. I was eight, and we'd gone camping in a national forest. My father turned and smiled at me, lifting me into his arms and swinging me around. His large arms pulled me into a tight hug. The love the emanated from him filled me with such joy. He put me down and ran off, into the trees. I ran after him, laughing boisterously. He disappeared behind a tree, and I giggled as I leaned around the trunk to find him, but he wasn't there. I turned and searched with my eyes, finding nothing. The small amount of light filtering through the trees dimmed and I realized it was getting dark - and I was alone. True fear seeped through my skin, igniting the pain in my heart.

A light tap on the door frame snapped me out of my dream.

"Miss Swan?"

It was Alice.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry to wake you, but it's time for lunch."

"Oh, I only closed my eyes for a second."

"You don't have to explain to me, honey. I'm not your boss. Besides, if I had to sit in this room all day, I'd fall asleep too. Just don't let _him_ catch you." She grinned. "Come on."

We walked to the lounge where everyone was sitting around a long table, eating. There was a buffet line filled with all sorts of food.

"Who do we pay for our meal?"

Alice snorted. "You don't. Mr. Masen covers all costs. We have free lunch and snacks for our breaks every day."

I smiled. _Free meals? I think I can get used to this._

We sat at the end of the table, close to the door.

Alice turned to the man next to us. "Hey, Jake."

"Hey, Alice." He smiled at me and winked.

I blushed.

"So, Isabella, how's your first day?" Jake asked.

"So far, so good. Oh, and call me Bella, please."

He grinned. With tidy black hair and russet skin, Jake was a fairly good-looking man. He was muscular and, though he was dressed in a nice suit, he looked more like a guy that would work in a gym.

I sat quietly, listening to Alice and Jake talk about the books they'd read and contracts they were preparing. I was envious of them. I'd rather read books and work closely with the publishing aspects of this company than sitting in a tiny room all day doing nothing.

A buzzer went off and everyone stopped speaking mid-sentence and jumped out of their seats as if a fire alarm had gone off. They dumped their unfinished plates and headed back to their cubicles without pausing to say another word.

I got up slowly, waiting for the rush to pass, and pushed in my chair, taking my time to dump the food I hadn't eaten. Everyone was busy working as I made my way back to the office. When I walked through the door, I was startled to see Edward sitting at his desk.

I gasped. "Oh, I'm sorry."

He didn't bother looking up from his work. "What are you sorry for?"

"I…um…"

He looked up at me, annoyed. "Don't just stand there doing nothing. Go to your office. You don't need permission." He turned his attention back to the computer.

I snickered.

His head snapped up, and anger flitted across his face. "There is nothing even remotely humorous about what I just said."

"Well, you don't want me to stand here and do nothing, so you'd rather I sit in that little room and do nothing. That's funny."

"I wasn't trying to be funny. If you want something to do, grab the mop and bucket from the utility closet, and mop the floor in the lounge."

"Are you…"

"Serious?" A wicked grin spread across his face. "Deadly."

I stood in place, not sure if I should move.

His smile faded and he glowered. "You should leave now."

I turned, fuming, and headed toward the lounge. I decided I hated Edward. There was no amount of physical attractiveness that could make up for his demeanor. I worked slowly, mopping with as much care as possible, wanting to spend as much time as I could away from him and his attitude.

I was nearly done when the intercom interrupted my work.

"Miss Swan?"

It was Edward's voice.

"Yes, sir."

"I am in need of your assistance."

I left the bucket and mop in the corner and made my way back to his office.

When I walked through the door, Edward was standing at his window, looking down at the city below.

"Mr. Masen, what can I do for you?"

He kept his back to me. "Tell Alice to take you to the dressing room. You need to change into something more appropriate."

"Excuse me?"

He turned to face me. "Are you questioning me?"

"Yes, sir. I would like to know what exactly is wrong with my clothes."

He snickered. "Your clothes are hideous. You are accompanying me to an event which is formal. Alice will help you change. I will meet you in the dressing room in twenty minutes, ready or not." He turned away from me.

When I walked out of the office, Alice was already standing by the last cubicle with a grin on her face. She shook her head.

"What?"

"Watch yourself, Miss Swan, or you are going to be another statistic."

"Explain."

She winked and motioned for me to follow her. The dressing room was exactly that. A long room filled with closets full of clothes. The back wall held a three-way mirror and vanity.

As Alice helped me get dressed, she began her explanation.

"You see, Bella, no assistant has lasted more than three months with Edward. Well, no, that isn't exactly correct. There was _one_ woman who lasted almost six, but it was a long time ago and it was torture for her. The office is taking bets on how long you will last."

"Are you serious? Why didn't they last? Is he really _that_ horrible?"

Alice snickered as she began tugging at my hair, pulling it up and fastening it to the back of my head with clips. "Honey, he is the devil in disguise…and a beautiful disguise at that."

"Well, I think I can handle his attitude. It can't be _that_ bad."

"Oh, you have _no_ idea. Edward has a special way of treating women. He gets a thrill out of playing them." She paused and sighed. "He has a certain charm to him. You'd better watch yourself. No matter how disagreeable his attitude is, he has a way of working the mind of a woman. The office is also taking bets on how fast he can get into your…well, you know."

" _What_?"

She laughed. "You'd be surprised, honey. I can count the number of women in this office on one hand who _haven't_ slept with him."

I gasped.

"Yup. I've known him since before he started this business. I grew up in the same neighborhood he did. He treats me a little differently than others, but I think it's because we go way back. You'll learn his ways soon enough. When he kicks you out of the office to be alone with a woman, you'll now know why. Oh, and the way he treats them during sex…it's even more terrifying than his attitude."

"Tell me."

"Well…"

Just then the door swung open and Edward walked in. If I thought he was beautiful the first moment I saw him, I must have been blind. Dressed in a black tuxedo, he was the most striking creature I'd seen in my entire life. My mouth went dry and my palms started to sweat.

 _Wait. What the hell am I thinking? This is the biggest asshole in history. Stop looking at him like he's worth your time!_

He looked at me and gasped, the hard look in his face softening. I dropped my eyes.

"Is there something wrong?" Alice asked.

I looked at him as he responded. His face turned hard once again. "No. Hurry up, there is not much time." He turned and walked out.

Alice spun me around so I could take a look at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a floor length deep blue dress, halter top, backless, with a slit that ran up my right thigh. My hair was pulled up with long tresses hanging daintily along the sides of my face. She'd placed rhinestone pins in a pattern on both sides of my head. I'd never seen myself so…so…beautiful. A sly smile crawled across my face. If I played my cards right…

She grabbed a pair of shoes that matched the dress and placed them in front of me. "See if these fit."

I slid my feet in. Perfect.

"Wow," she breathed as she stood before me. "You look unbelievable."

Heat rose into my cheeks. "Thanks."

When I walked out into the office, I heard several cat calls from various cubicles, but one icy glance from Edward silenced them all.

He offered his elbow to me. "Shall we?"

I placed my arm around his and he led me out of the office. Standing in front of the elevator was nerve-wracking. On the one hand, I couldn't stand this asshole, but on the other, seeing our reflection on the silver elevator doors gave me a twinge of excitement. When the doors opened I flinched and he chuckled.

"Scared, are we?"

"No."

He pulled me into the elevator. "Don't worry; all of my assistants were intimidated the first time I took them to a premiere."

"We're going to a premiere?"

He peeked down at me. "Yes. Dinner first though." He grinned. "I never attend these events alone, and since you are my new assistant I should start introducing you as such. Keep in mind you will be meeting with very influential people. Don't embarrass me."

"Why would I do that?"

"Trust me, every one of my assistants has said that before, and each one embarrassed me. I am hoping you are the exception."

"So," I pulled my arm out of his, turned to face him, and placed my hands on my hips. "Who was the last woman to wear _this_ dress?"

I instantly became uncomfortable as Edward examined me. His eyes roamed from my toes, up my legs, hesitating at my hips, slowly moving up, lingering over my breasts a bit longer than necessary, until they finally met my eyes.

"Hmm…I don't believe any of my assistants have worn this particular dress for me." He reached over and grabbed the material at my waist, tugging on it softly, rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger. "It must be one of the new ones Alice bought recently. She knows I don't like my women wearing the same clothes twice in public."

" _Your_ women?"

"Yes, _my_ women. You work for _me_. You are _my_ employee."

I crossed my arms. "Hmph."

"What? Do you have a problem with my terminology, Miss Swan?"

"I do, Ed…I mean, Mr. Masen."

He stepped close to me and I wondered when the elevator would reach the bottom.

"Miss Swan, must I remind you…"

He started at the sound of the elevator bell. The door opened and he stepped away from me. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me through the door, squeezing between two men and a woman who were waiting to enter.

I felt uncomfortable with his hand in mine. It wasn't because I knew he was a prick and had to endure his touch, but because I _knew_ he was a prick and I _enjoyed_ the contact. There was something in the connection his skin made with mine that felt right, and it unnerved me. He didn't release my hand until we reached the limo parked outside the building.

It was early, nearly four in the afternoon, and I wondered why he felt the need to go so early. I knew premieres were late evening events.

"Where are we going?"

"Like I said," he grumbled while looking out his window, "we're going to eat first."

"Is it going to take us three hours to eat?"

He turned to me, his lips pulling up into a smug grin. "No, but it will take an hour to get there. We will not be eating in town, Miss Swan."

I gasped. "Where the _hell_ are you taking me?"

"To eat. What's the big fucking deal?" He turned in his seat to face me, his brow furrowed, his eyes screamed with annoyance.

"The big fucking deal is that I don't know you, and you are taking me God knows where. An explanation would be fucking nice." I crossed my arms and huffed loudly.

He burst into laughter. "Good girl. Don't ride with strangers. Daddy taught you well." I thought he would hyperventilate he was laughing so hard.

I felt my eyes sting as the tears threatened to escape. He didn't know how much his comment bothered me, and I didn't want him to know, so I looked away.

"Isabella…" My name rolled off his tongue like honey, and for once I didn't mind being called by my actual name. He reached over and grabbed my hand. I would have pulled it away, but the contact was nice. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you. I am taking you to the beach. I hope you don't mind. There is a great seafood restaurant I am in the mood for." His fingers played with mine. "I hope you know you can trust me."

I looked into his eyes and I wanted to. I really wanted to trust him. There was just one thing eating away at the back of my mind.

 _This beautiful creature before you, Bella, is a player and an asshole. Can he really be trusted?_


	2. Chapter 2 - Getting to Know You

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Don't hate me at the end of this chapter. You have no idea where I am taking these two, and believe me…you want to go there!

 **Shattered and Shrouded**

 _ **Chapter 2 – Getting to Know You**_

The ride was long and nerve-racking. After a half hour with not a single word spoken, I could take the silence no longer. There were questions I had, but none I felt comfortable asking, so I turned to him and blurted out the lamest getting-to-know-you line.

"Tell me something about yourself."

"Huh?" He turned to face me. His lips pulled down slightly, not quite a frown, but close enough. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, I really don't know anything about you, so whatever you want to divulge would be nice."

Sucking in a deep breath, he closed his eyes for a long moment and muttered something unintelligible. I shifted in my seat so I was sitting on one leg, facing him. When he opened his eyes, I felt that familiar surge of unease mixed with an unexpected dose of expectation. The mystery that was Edward Masen had me in its grasp, and I was not going to be satisfied until I was released from it.

"Well," he began, looking down at his hands as he adjusted his cufflinks, "I'm sure you've already heard an earful today. Women talk, Miss Swan. This is a fact well-known to men. So, I'm sure you know what an uncaring, heartless, cold, son of a bitch asshole I am. I'm dead inside and out. There is no emotion in me to give, aside from hostility, so I offer what I can. I like to fuck and move on, so that's what I do." He looked up at my face. "Am I about right, or did I miss something?"

The expression on my face must have given away my feeling of discomfort, because he immediately tried to ease the tension. "Miss Swan, I assure you, I've never taken a woman against her will. I will not touch you in any way that is inappropriate for a boss and employee."

"Oh? Is that so?"

"Yes."

"So…you think it is okay for a boss to hold his employee's hand, do you?"

"Does that make you feel uncomfortable?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're not answering my question."

"I'm asking you." He smirked. "Does it make you feel uncomfortable to have my hand in yours?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes, please."

I looked away from his eyes, not sure if I really should tell the truth, but decided that honesty, well, really was the best policy. "Um…no. Not really."

"Then why does it matter?"

I huffed in frustration and crossed my arms, making it a point to glare at him. "Stop dancing around my question."

"Well, Miss…"

"If you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't call me that."

"Should I call you Isabella?"

"No, actually, I prefer Bella."

"Bella…" he mused. "That's nice…I like it." He reached over, his hand hovering over mine. "May I?"

I nodded and he wrapped his hand around mine.

"I like holding hands," he murmured, and I wasn't quite sure if he'd meant for me to hear it. He looked at our hands, our fingers intertwined, and raised them up to place a soft kiss on the back of my hand.

 _Oh, he's good. He's really good._

Alice was right when she said he had a way with women, but there was no chance in hell I was going to let him break through _my_ wall. I'd had it up way too long to let some smooth talker squeeze through the cracks.

After staring at our hands for a long moment, he ran the index finger of his free hand along the back of mine, tracing over the edges, running between our entangled fingers. A slow burning sensation started where he touched my skin, traveling down my arm and throughout my body. I trembled inside, deeply confused with the way my body was reacting to his touch.

"I have a thing for hands…well, fingers actually. They are our basis for touch. Yes, we can feel with other parts of our body, but when we really want to memorize a texture, fine line, soft skin…" He sighed and dropped my hand. Looking back out the side window, he let the subject drop.

I wanted him to continue but didn't want to pry, so I let him sit with his thoughts. The initial discomfort dissolved, and we continued the peaceful drive in silence.

When we pulled up to the restaurant, it was a little after five in the evening. The sun was setting its course for the horizon, and the view from the patio where we sat was amazing. I'd been to the beach many times in the past, but this restaurant wasn't one of the places I'd ventured to.

Edward sat facing me, the ocean to my right. I turned to take in the view, afraid of the unfamiliar feeling that bubbled up inside each time my eyes met his. A few seagulls flew by; their cries mixed with the sound of the crashing waves soothed me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the ocean.

With my eyes closed, it was harder to keep my pain at bay. The soothing sound of ocean waves suddenly became a rushing river, the seagulls cries that of a screeching eagle. Wild rapids flashed beneath my lids, and suddenly I was under, being tossed about the waves, nearly ripped in two. I gasped for air and when my eyes snapped open, Edward was over me, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked, breathing heavily.

"Um…yes. Why?"

"You were…" He didn't finish his sentence; he just sat back down in his seat and motioned for the waiter. "Maybe we should order now."

"Mr. Masen, what…"

I was interrupted by our waiter. "What can I get for you today, Mr. Masen?"

"We are going to share the Fisherman's platter."

"Very good sir."

The waiter walked away without a glance in my direction.

"What the fuck?" _Shit! Did I say that out loud?_

Edward's eyes widened, and then narrowed in anger. "Is there a problem, Miss…Bella?"

I couldn't help it. I grinned at his stammer with my name. "No. I'm just wondering why I wasn't given a choice as to what I would like to eat this evening, but since you're paying…I guess I shouldn't complain." My eyes focused on the untouched glass of wine before me.

"You're right, you shouldn't complain. You are on the clock, after all."

I looked up from the glass of wine. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. You are on the clock until I no longer require your services. If I keep you out late on a business venture, then you will get paid for it."

"Oh, but surely I'm not getting paid to eat dinner."

"Yes, you are. As long as you are in my presence, you are getting paid."

Inside I was a giddy little girl. I was getting paid to have dinner with a striking man. Regardless of his reputation, I was quite taken by him, and it scared me. It was hard to wrap my mind around that concept.

When the waiter returned, he placed a platter filled with various types of fish on the center of our table. He looked toward Edward once more. "Is there anything else I can get for you?"

"No, thank you."

"And for the lady?" He didn't look at me when he asked what I'd like, and that struck me as odd.

Edward looked at me. "Would you like anything else, Bella?"

I shook my head. "No, thank you."

He looked back up at the waiter and nodded his head once. The man walked away.

Edward motioned with his hand that I should proceed, so I picked up my fork and stabbed a small fillet of fish placing it carefully on my plate. I served myself a few hushpuppies, fries, and the largest stuffed crab on the platter. When I looked at Edward, his lips were pulled up slightly on one side and his eyes were on my nearly full plate.

"Is there something amusing, Mr. Masen?"

With a snicker he started serving himself. "No, Miss Swan. I am just pleasantly surprised at your appetite. Most women would rather starve than eat a full meal in front of me."

"Well, I'm not most women, and I've already told you what I prefer to be called."

"Yes, you have. I apologize. May I ask why you do not prefer Isabella? It is a beautiful name…quite fitting."

Heat rose into my cheeks. _Shit! I'm blushing!_ "Well," I looked down at my plate of food and tried to remember when I decided I preferred Bella, and I couldn't. I couldn't remember anything aside from my strange visions, but I had a sense. It was as if my memories came across as common knowledge, like knowing two plus two equals four or the days of the week. It's not something you think about. I'm not even sure I remember who taught me those things.

Edward's voice snapped me out of my reverie. "You don't have to tell me if it's uncomfortable for you."

"No," I sighed. "It's not uncomfortable for me. I find questions about my past very frustrating, because I have no memories before my seventeenth birthday."

Edward's reaction surprised me. His right hand clenched into a fist and his left came up, his elbow dropping to the table in a loud thud, the dishes rattling with the motion. His head dropped into his left hand and he grumbled something unintelligible.

"I…" I really didn't know what to say. Why would he be troubled when I hadn't told him anything upsetting? "Mr. Masen…" I reached over and tentatively touched the clenched knuckles of his right hand. "I'm sorry."

"No," he looked up at me, his agonized eyes trying to convey something of importance. "I guess I should have known."

"What?"

"Nothing." He resumed his relaxed position and stuffed a hushpuppy in his mouth. "So," he motioned with his hand for me to continue, "You were saying?"

"Um…" It was difficult to get my mind back to where I was when he'd reacted so strangely.

"I asked about your name," he prompted.

"Oh, yes. Well, I know it was what my father called me. I don't remember him, or my mother, but I can see their faces when I close my eyes. I know my mother called me her little Bell. Other than that, I don't remember them at all. They loved me, but it's like common knowledge. You know, things that can't be erased, or explained. I just know…you know?"

He nodded his head as he chewed.

"I woke up in a hospital on my seventeenth birthday. That's my first memory. I don't know how I got there or what my life was like before. Sometimes I'm glad I don't remember. I'm not sure I really want to know what led up to my hospitalization."

"Your life may not have been so bad," he murmured.

"Maybe not...but maybe it was." I couldn't help but wonder about _him_. "So, what about you?"

His body tensed and his tone became icy cold. "What about me?"

I suddenly didn't care to know, but I pushed anyway. "I gave you a bit of my past. Can I have a bit of yours? Tell me about your father."

"My father?"

"Yes. Mr. Cullen is your father, correct?"

He grinned and his body relaxed. "Well, yes. He's not my biological father. He never formally adopted me, so I still have my birth father's last name, but Carlisle…Mr. Cullen, is my father in every way, and I care for him deeply."

"Oh." It surprised me that this beautiful man seemed to be just as broken as me, in some respects. "So, what happened to your birth parents?"

If looks could kill, I would be dead. The look on his face truly terrified me. "That is none of your fucking business," he growled. Standing abruptly, his chair scraped loudly against the patio floor and nearly toppled over. "We need to get going." He turned and walked toward the waiter who was two tables away with the only other couple on the patio. He handed him a large wag of bills and turned to me. "Bella." The authority in the way he said my name had me jump to my feet and follow.

As we rode to the premiere, not a single word was spoken. I stared at Edward, but I could only see the faint glow of his features as we passed under street lights. He never looked my way, gazing out into the night. I examined the soft contours of his perfection and wondered what in his life caused him to become the man he was today. Why had he reacted so strongly with the mention of my past, or his parents?

Something inside of me wanted to reach over and hold him, to tell him there was no problem that couldn't be solved. The truth was I had no clue as to what it was about his past that fucked him up. I only wished I could take it all away.

Looking away from him, I stared out my side window at the city lights and tried to push all of my thoughts of him aside. I could feel myself being pulled into the complex web Edward was weaving around me, and it was a place I definitely did not want to get stuck in. I wasn't like all the other women I was sure he'd dated, or fucked, or whatever it was he did with them, and there was no way I was going to allow myself to fall for this beautiful man. No…possible…way.

When we pulled up to the Bruin Theatre in Westwood Village, I nearly choked on my own gasp. I'd never been to a premiere. Okay, that wasn't entirely true. A year prior I'd camped out with a friend of mine in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre because she just _had_ to get a peek at her celebrity heartthrob, some British actor with incredible hair. Thinking back, he was well worth the wait, but this…this was in a different realm altogether.

Our limo pulled up to the red carpet and Edward stepped out first, turned, and reached for my hand. I took his, feeling another burn surge through me at his touch. It wasn't an uncomfortable sensation, and that unnerved me.

At first glance, my stomach curled up and died. There was no end to the amount of people standing along and around the path leading to the theatre. Microphones were being thrust into the faces of people up the walk, with T.V. personalities conducting interviews. Cameras flashed around us and I tucked myself into Edward's side, turning my head away from the lights.

"Are you camera shy, Bella?" he smirked.

"Yeah." I took a deep breath and looked up at him.

One of my loose curls blew across my face and he deftly placed it behind my ear, running his fingers down my neck and across my shoulder before grabbing my hand and leading me down the red carpet.

"Don't be shy," he murmured. "You look stunning."

I kept my face averted, trying to avoid any attention. When we reached a platform, Edward pulled me up and I gasped.

"Mr. Masen, no!"

He chuckled and pulled me around to face the onslaught of photographers. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulled me close.

"Smile," he murmured in my ear, "unless you want the papers to print your frown."

I turned toward the flashing lights and gave my best smile, hoping it wouldn't look as bad as I knew it probably would.

Edward spun me around and we continued toward the entrance. He stopped a few times to chat with some people I didn't know. I nodded and smiled politely when he introduced me, keeping my mouth shut. I forgot their names as quickly as I'd forgotten my co-workers'.

Inside the theatre he led me to a row of seats near the front of the stage where one was labeled "Edward Masen" and the other as "guest". I felt so insignificant sitting next to him, the odd-ball, the third wheel, the outsider. People stopped now and then to speak to him and continued on to their seats. I was admiring the décor when I realized we were at the movie premiere of a romance I'd wanted to see. The reason I was so eager for this movie's release was because it was based on a novel I'd read the previous summer. I gasped and placed my hand over my mouth.

Edward leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Is everything okay?"

I turned to him, wide-eyed. "We are at the premiere for _Love Distended_?"

"Yes."

"Oh!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He laughed. "Maybe I should have told you what we were going to see sooner. It would have given us something to talk about on the way here."

Realizing our close proximity was doing something to me deep down in my happy place, I pulled back. I was about to ask him how frequently he attended these events when his eyes moved past me and he growled. Something told me not to turn, but I did. Behind me was a beautiful strawberry blonde with long legs and perky breasts. Her dress was so tight it looked painted on.

"Hello, Edward," she purred, leaning over me to kiss him on the cheek. Her cleavage pressed uncomfortably against my shoulder and I wanted to "accidentally" elbow her in the gut, but I behaved myself.

Edward grimaced and wiped his face with the back of his hand. "Hello, Tanya."

She completely ignored me, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair.

"What the fuck do you want?" he asked.

"Aww, that's no way to talk to your girlfriend, baby."

"The correct term is _ex_ -girlfriend."

She giggled and turned to me. "Who's this? A new toy?"

"No." He stood, pulling me up to stand beside him. "This is Isabella Swan. She is my new assistant."

"How cute. Another toy."

"Don't fucking call her that," he growled. His face turned red and his nostrils flared.

"Oh, Edward. Save that temper for the bedroom." She turned and winked at me. "Tell me if he kisses you. I'd pay to see that." Her hand pressed against my cheek and she clicked her tongue. "Poor baby."

"Fuck you, Tanya." Edward growled. "She's not like that."

"I'm sure she isn't, but I know _you_ are." She laughed loudly and walked away.

"What the fuck?" I turned to Edward and he frowned.

"I'm sorry you had to be subjected to that. Tanya hasn't gotten over our breakup."

"How long ago was that?" I asked as I sat down.

He slid into his seat and sighed. "Three years ago."

"What was that talk about kissing?"

"I don't kiss," he said, looking away from me. He scanned the theatre, clearly trying to avoid my question.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why?"

His head snapped around and he glared at me. " _Drop it_."

"Fine." I crossed my arms and waited until the lights were lowered for the event to begin.

It was a wonderful premiere, aside from the fact that Tanya was a supporting actress in the movie. I don't know how I didn't notice her from the movie trailers, though my mind had been out of sorts for so long. It definitely was expected.

When the lights came up Edward turned to me. "We are attending the after party. Would you prefer to go home, or are you up for an all nighter?"

It didn't take me long to realize I wouldn't get this opportunity all that often, so I nodded. "Yes, I'm up for an after party."

A wide grin spread across his face. "Thank you." He grabbed my hand and kissed my palm. "You have made my entire day."

As we walked through the theatre, stopping every now and then so Edward could chat with acquaintances, I realized he wasn't as bad as I'd thought he was. Alice had painted him to be a cruel person, but other than his nasty mood swings he didn't seem to be too bad at all.

When we approached the exit, Tanya made another appearance.

"Hello there!" She walked up and wrapped her arms around Edward, shoving me to the side.

Edward kept his hand firmly in mine and pushed her away with his other hand. "Tanya, this is extremely inappropriate."

"Why is that?"

He glanced at me, frustrated, so I did the unthinkable. I really should have considered how he may have reacted before I did it, but I wasn't really thinking.

Shoving Tanya aside, I barked, "Because you have your fucking, filthy ass hands on my boyfriend, bitch!" I reached over and pulled Edward's face to mine, planting my lips against his for a quick kiss. When I turned to Tanya, I opened my hand in expectation. "So…pay up!"

She gasped and turned, taking large strides toward the exit.

I smiled and turned to look at Edward's face. Oh, no.

His jaw was clenched, face red, eyes wide, nostrils flaring. He squeezed my hand tightly and dragged me toward the limo, shoving me in and following suit, slamming the door behind him.

When he turned to me, his eyes were murderous. He leaned forward, his nose nearly touching mine, his hot breath sweeping over my face.

"Why the fuck did you kiss me?"

I very nearly peed myself. "I…I…"

He grabbed me by my hair and I screamed.


	3. Chapter 3 - After Party

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Oh God! I just know I'm going to hear it after this chapter. Please love me! I'll do my happy dance for you. *wiggle*wiggle*bounce*bounce*

 _ **Chapter 3 – After Party**_

My scream didn't make much of a difference with the blaring commotion just outside the limo. Nobody heard, and nobody cared. Life was one big celebration as guests of the premiere prepared to hit the after party, leaving me to deal with the mess I'd made. The limo pulled away moments after I'd screamed, so escape was not an option.

Edward was seething, and I was scared shitless. His right hand grasped my hair tightly and he pulled my head back. Leaning forward, his body pressed against mine, bending me back against the seat in an awkward position making it difficult to breathe. I took shallow breaths and focused on the two green orbs that were swallowing me in anger.

"I'm…sorry…" I gasped.

"Why?" he groaned. "Why did you kiss me?"

Sandwiched between his body and the seat, I couldn't speak. I sucked in as much air as I could. "I…" I gasped again.

When he realized I couldn't breathe, he pulled his body back a fraction.

"I'm s…sorry," I sucked in two quick breaths.

His eyes softened and he let go of my hair, running his fingers down the side of my face. "Did you _want_ to kiss me?"

" _What_?" My question came out breathy and barely discernable.

His eyes moved to my mouth where his fingers trailed across my lips. "I said…"

"I know what you said."

He looked back into my eyes. "Did you?"

I couldn't lie. Though I'd thought he was an ass and, at that moment, feared him, I couldn't lie. I'd wanted to kiss his lips the second I laid my eyes on him.

"Yes," I breathed.

He gasped. Something akin to pain passed through him as he grabbed my face between his hands and leaned his forehead against mine. Our noses touched and he whispered. "Trust me, please."

"Yes," I whimpered, feeling a bit apprehensive.

Before I could take my next breath his lips covered mine and I was lost, falling into the unknown. My lips parted and his tongue slid between them, roughly invading my mouth. Though he was not gentle, I felt complete ease in the way our mouths and tongues danced in a wild symphony. Edward tugged on my bottom lip and I on his top, making him groan. The sound made me tremble.

It was a wild, needy kiss, our lips devouring one another in desperation. I couldn't understand why it was so intense. I'd known him for less than twenty four hours, yet somehow it seemed as if my heart had been longing for him for so much longer.

He grabbed my hands sliding his fingers between mine as he pulled them over my head. My mouth slowed as his eased into a soft, sensual caress. Our lips made sweet love, moving in synchronization as if they were destined to be together, becoming one entity. I'd never been kissed before, and it was one hell of a first kiss. If it could have been compared to the best kisses in history, I'm sure it would have surpassed them all.

Without breaking our connection, Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me over so he was sitting and I was straddling him. Oh, but when I eased down, my dress nearly up to my waist, I could feel his hardness pressing against me. I shifted my hips away, because being another one of his quick fucks was not on my list of To-Do's, but he pulled me back, thrusting himself against me with a moan.

The kissing continued, and I would have been content to kiss him non-stop until the day I died had he been just as content, but no…Edward Masen wanted more. His right hand ran up the inside of my thigh, making its way to my pleasure spot. He brushed against it lightly igniting a burning sensation deep in my belly, and I whimpered against his lips. His fingers shifted, sliding between material and skin, and he ran them up my slit.

"You're so wet," he groaned against my lips, and his soft kiss took a turn for fierce.

Just as his fingers began to penetrate, Alice's words flashed in my mind.

 _Watch yourself, Miss Swan, or you are going to be another statistic._

I ran my fingers into his hair and pulled his head back, away from my face, and he grimaced.

"I'm not going to be another fucking notch on your belt," I growled.

His eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

I pulled myself up and slid over to sit next to him on the seat. Wrapping my dress around my legs I looked out the window at the passing street lights. Anger ripped through me at how close I'd come to becoming another one of his easy fucks.

"Bella?"

I didn't respond, our rough breathing was the only sound in the vehicle.

"Bella, please." His voice was strained, and it concerned me a bit, so I turned to him.

"What?" The petulance in my voice was hard to disguise, and he would see it as a negative reaction toward him and not me.

"I guess I deserve that," he muttered, and I could see his self-loathing, so I decided to let him off the hook.

"Look, I'm disappointed with myself, not you. Okay?"

"But you've done nothing wrong."

I looked down at my hands, feeling very self-conscious. "I thought you didn't kiss," I murmured.

"I don't."

My hands were shaking slightly, so I focused on keeping them still by rubbing my fingers together.

He cleared his throat and I looked up at him. "Look, the last woman I kissed was…well, it happened many years ago."

"Tanya?" I asked.

"No. I've never kissed her."

"Who was it then?"

He looked down at his hands. "Someone I lost. She um…died. I…" He took a deep breath. "She was my first love, you know? My whole world. I vowed I'd never kiss another."

"I'm so sorry." I'd lost my parents, which was hard enough, but losing the one you love as well? The thought made my heart twist. "That seems nearly impossible though. What if you met someone you wanted to marry? Would you never kiss her?"

"I've never considered marriage. I guess I gave up on the whole idea the instant she left me."

"So…why did you kiss _me_?"

A faint glow rose into his eyes as they met mine. "When you kissed me in front of Tanya, it threw me. My reaction was horrid and for that I apologize. Here in the limo, I realized something." He glanced over my shoulder at the darkness beyond the window before answering. "I kissed you, Bella, for reasons I cannot explain. You're not like other women, and I would never treat you wrong. I'm sorry. What I did was inexcusable."

He reached for my hand which I moved to my lap, cupping it with the other. I wanted his hand in mine, but I was afraid the force I felt between us when he touched me would affect my judgment. I didn't want to give in.

His head dropped, and he spoke so low I could barely hear him. "I'll understand if you want me to take you home now."

I thought about that, and what would happen if I didn't go to the after party. He'd run into Tanya, I was sure. Did I want that to happen? Why did I even care? For some reason, the thought of Edward and Tanya together made me fume inside.

"Will you go home?" I asked.

He turned to me. "What do you mean?"

I looked up at him. "If you take me home, will you go home as well or are you planning on going to the party alone?"

"Bella," he sighed heavily. "People are expecting me. I have to go."

I nodded my head. "Okay."

He stared at me, expectant, and I should have asked to go home but I just couldn't. "I'll go with you."

He nodded and looked away. We sat in silence for the rest of the drive.

As I stared out my window, I thought about Alice's warning. She'd known Edward since childhood, and though I barely knew her I was sure she was being honest, trying to protect me from the dangerous web he spun to catch and devour his prey. I couldn't fathom why she would care about me, but having witnessed so many heartbroken women, I'm sure she just cared in general, not specifically for me.

I could feel affection taking root in the pit of my stomach, a growing desire to please Edward, and it frightened me. There was a big chance I would become another miserable statistic. I needed to watch my actions and think only of myself.

When we pulled up to a beautiful mansion, I recognized various celebrities relinquishing their vehicles to valet. When I saw Tanya standing at the entrance, my throat tightened and my eyes burned. Edward may have felt the tension, because he turned to me and reached out his hand.

"May I?" he asked.

"Yes," I breathed.

He took my hand in his and kissed my palm. "Don't be nervous."

I nodded and grinned. "Sure…that's easy for you to say."

The atmosphere in the limo changed as we pulled up to the valet. His eyes became hard…cold…and they burned into mine. "This is extremely important," he growled, and his tone scared me. "You told Tanya I am your boyfriend. Are you prepared to deal with the consequences of your words?"

I nodded.

He huffed loudly. "You have no idea what you've done." The tone in his voice became harsher with each syllable. "If you intend to follow through with your lie, then you'd better damn well play it off flawlessly. Embarrass me, and you'll wish you'd never met me. Do I make myself clear?"

His change in mood startled me but wasn't a surprise. I nodded my head once again and a devilish grin spread across his face. Just then a valet opened his door and greeted him.

"Good evening, Mr. Masen."

"Good evening," he replied, pulling me out of the limo with him.

Walking up the path was nerve-racking. Not only were we surrounded by many celebrities I recognized, but we were headed toward the one person I didn't want to see.

I leaned into Edward's shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Will she stay the whole night?"

He snickered. "She should. This _is_ her house."

" _What_?"

He grinned. "Don't worry. She won't do anything embarrassing in her own home." He followed with a low, "I hope," though I'm sure he didn't mean for me to hear it.

The expression on Tanya's face was priceless. When she looked at me, I could literally feel the stab in my chest. Those daggers were flying hard and fast. Her eyes flickered between Edward's and mine as we approached the entrance.

"Hello again, Tanya," Edward greeted her while pulling me tightly into his side.

She leaned over and kissed him on his cheek, completely ignoring my presence.

"Hello, Edward, so nice to see you _again_." Her icy tone made me nervous. All of my previous courage locked itself away in my chest. This was _her_ home, and I felt like I was walking into the lion's den.

"Likewise," Edward muttered, and it didn't sound sincere.

"Make yourselves at home." She motioned with her hand that we should proceed to enter.

I didn't pay much attention to the details of her home, though I did notice the exquisite art on one wall of the foyer adjacent to a double-wide staircase that ran up the center and split at the top of the stairs.

Most of my concentration was on the people Edward spoke with. Women and men alike seemed to crave his attention, seeking him out and bringing up topics ranging from no importance to highly significant publishing deals and upcoming movies based on books published by his company. As I watched him speak animatedly, I realized he was in his element. The attention brought out a side of him I quite enjoyed. His smile, his laughter, when surrounded by friends seemed genuine, and I liked the warm feeling it created in me.

Though some of the women were authentic in their kind greeting toward me when I was introduced as his girlfriend, over a period of time I began to realize many of them seemed a bit put off. As the number of glares and stares through the crowd grew, I started to feel very uncomfortable and somewhat insignificant.

As a rule, I don't drink in the company of strangers, and Edward was still very much a stranger to me, so I only drank water. The problem is I tend to drink a lot when I'm nervous, so after four glasses of water I really needed to relieve my poor bladder.

I leaned into Edward and whispered, "Where is the restroom?"

He pointed toward the staircase. "Up the stairs, to the right, third door on the left." He turned to me. "Would you like me to show you?"

He was having a conversation with a man about a publishing deal, and I didn't think I'd be gone too long, so I didn't want to pull him from his discussion just to walk me up the stairs.

"Oh, no. I can find my way. I'll be back before you even realize I'm gone." I grinned widely and his lips pulled up on one side into a sexy-ass grin. I nearly gasped aloud.

He leaned down and kissed me lightly on my lips, making my head spin. _Play it cool_ , I had to remind myself. We were only pretending to be a couple.

I turned and headed toward the staircase, instantly feeling the distance between us and regretting not asking him to come with me. The glares and stares turned to whispers as I headed up the stairs. Some were loud and clear.

 _Why the hell her?_

 _What the fuck does he see?_

 _I hope she burns._

 _Did he actually kiss her?_

The last comment I heard created the beaming smile I surrendered to as I made my way into the restroom.

It didn't take me long to actually use the restroom, but when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I stopped to take a long look at myself. The image before me was foreign. My hair was still in place even after Edward's hands had invaded it. Only one pin was out of place, so I quickly fixed it. My face was not my own and just as immaculate as when Alice first revealed me as her masterpiece. I reminded myself to thank her later.

I had a goofy grin on my face when I opened the door, but it was wiped away when I was met by the furious eyes of Tanya.

"Hello again, Isabella," she sneered.

"Hello." There was no volume in my voice, and I could feel the panic set in as I glanced down the hall and realized we were alone.

She stepped forward, and I shifted, backing into the wall next to the door. "Um…Edward is waiting for me. I need to get to him."

"He can wait," she growled. "We have some unfinished business."

" _What_?"

She held out her hand and opened it, palm up, revealing a wad of cash. "I believe I owe you this."

My confused expression irritated her.

"He kissed you, so I owe you," she spat.

"You can keep it. I don't want your money."

"Oh, you may not want it," her eyes traced me from head to foot, "but you sure do need it." A sly smile spread across her face. "Unless you don't want the money my fucking, filthy ass hands were on. Guess the man they were on is a much better trade off."

"Fuck you," I growled.

"There she is," she laughed. "I've been waiting for you." She grabbed my hand roughly and shoved the wad into my palm.

I glanced at it, noticing they were all thousand dollar bills. My brow furrowed, and heat spread from the tips of my fingers and toes to the center of my being. I wanted to scream, but knew I shouldn't. Squeezing the money in my firm grip for a fraction of a second, I sent the thick wad across the short distance between us, hitting her right between the eyes.

She gasped and reached up to touch her forehead. "Oh, you want to play dirty do you?" She reached back and swung, but little did she know I'd taken self-defense classes.

My left hand met hers, blocking the blow, and my right fist jumped up making contact with that annoyingly beautiful face of hers. She screamed and grabbed her jaw.

"You fucking bitch!" she yelled.

Before I could make my escape, she jumped on me, dragging me to the floor, pulling at my hair. I used my nails to scratch her arms, digging into her skin. She screamed once more and slapped me. I rolled over, flinging her off me and suddenly I was being restrained by someone much bigger than me.

Two large arms wrapped around my waist, pinning my arms to my sides.

Tanya sighed. "Thank you, Felix."

"What shall I do with her, Miss Kovac?"

She grinned and her eyes narrowed. "Take her out back. I don't want her to make a scene in front of my guests. Have Demitri deal with her."

"Yes, ma'am."

I screamed and called out, "Edw…" Felix's hand was over my mouth before I could get more out. I kicked and struggled but his grip was too firm. My smothered screams were faint mumbles against the ruckus of the party below. He dragged me down the hall, through a dark room, and to an elevator.

I continued to struggle and Felix whispered in my ear. "Don't struggle, please. I don't want to hurt you."

I could hear the sincerity in his voice and decided to play it cool, ceasing my attempts to escape. Maybe I could've avoided this if I'd just taken Tanya's fucking money and walked away. I kicked myself internally for being such an idiot.

Felix spoke to Demetri using his Bluetooth and we met him in a garage at the back of her house. Demetri was a fierce man but he was half the size of Felix. They shoved me into the car where Felix resumed his position as human hand cuffs, using only one hand to restrain mine. He reached under the seat and pulled out a box. I didn't pay much attention to what he was doing, because Demetri drove up the drive and around the house, quickly approaching a group of people standing outside. I thought I could get someone's attention but worried it would be fruitless through the deep tinted windows.

As we pulled to the front of the house I looked over at the door and saw Edward run out and down the walk, glancing frantically in every direction. Tanya followed, wrapping herself around him, stroking his face as if to comfort him. Heat burned in my eyes as I realized what she was up to.

I opened my mouth to scream when Felix placed a cloth over it. A stinging sensation shot up my nose, burning its way through my nostrils and down my throat. The last image I can recall was Edward's arms wrapping around Tanya as she kissed his neck.


	4. Chapter 4 - Home

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Enjoy!

 **Chapter 4 - Home**

Darkness consumed me but, though the sounds were muffled, I could still hear. Felix's words were easier to understand, possibly because he was sitting in the back seat with me.

"Can you see it?"

Demetri's response wasn't clear, but I made out the word "yes" in his response.

"Then we are being followed. Quick, turn right up here."

My body slammed into Felix and the screech of tires broke through the veil that threatened to deafen my ears. Felix wrapped his arms around me to keep my limp body from thrashing about as we sped through the city. I could feel the vehicle accelerate as the pursuer closed the distance between us. Though I couldn't hear them well, the panic in their tone was easy to decipher.

Deep inside I was screaming, hoping my mouth would obey and submit to my demand, but my body was a cocoon, a dead shell holding my life inside. The situation brought about a feeling of hopelessness, threatening to take me back to the horrid place I couldn't bear to revisit. To keep from succumbing to the pain, I focused all of my attention on the muffled sounds around me.

Demetri and Felix were arguing, their raised voices nearly bringing me to life, but the cloud was too thick for me to break through. Another screech filled the car and Felix's body was gone as I felt myself floating for a fraction of a second before a searing pain cut through my head. Then everything was silent.

In the stillness despair caught up with me. It was summer. I know this because every year my parents and I went camping for summer vacation, and the scenery was familiar. The stream was to my left, the camp to my right. I was sitting on a tree stump watching a butterfly as it fluttered from flower to flower, collecting sweet nectar. Only, in this dream my parents were nowhere to be seen, and the emptiness within my chest was unbearable. Tears flowed freely, and I didn't care because I had nothing to hide. Someone called out to me, and though I recognized the voice, I couldn't place it. I stood and walked into the trees.

It was dark in the woods, so much so I couldn't see more than a few feet in front of me. The voice beckoned me once more and I started to run, chasing the sound.

"Bella!" the voice called.

"I'm coming," I yelled as I stumbled, arms outstretched, feeling my way through the darkness.

"Bella!"

"I'm here, where are you?"

Another voice cut through the darkness. "She's bleeding too much."

"Bella?" his voice was panicked. "Oh, God! Bella, _please_!" His voice was strained as he turned his attention to someone else. "Do something!"

"We're doing all we can, sir."

I stopped in the middle of the woods, certain I was only running farther from the voice, and listened.

"God, please don't do this to me…not again."

 _Again_? I recognized his voice – Edward. He had lost someone before: his parents, his first love, now he thought he was losing me. I didn't like the way his words were strangled, tortured. I tried to find him, to comfort him.

Turning, I headed back in the direction I'd come, hoping something would bring me back to the surface. As I stepped through the break in the trees, out into the sunlit opening, I saw Edward. He was standing beside the trunk I'd been sitting on. His beaming smile dissolved the hopelessness that had been taking root inside my heart, bringing forth a strong desire to be in his arms. I leaped across the distance in three strides, slamming into his chest. His arms wrapped around me.

"Welcome back," he murmured in my ear, his breath tickling me, sending a shiver through my body.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and sighed.

"This will only sting for a moment," he said, and I felt a stabbing pain in my arm.

A burning sensation crawled through my shoulder and I looked up at him. His beautiful face blurred and I fell limp in his arms, succumbing to darkness.

I didn't dream anymore, and for that I was grateful. I don't know how long I was under, but when I came to I wasn't in a hospital; I was lying on a large, four post bed with deep blue bedding. I pulled the blankets back and realized I was wearing nothing but my panties and a t-shirt.

 _What the…_

"Welcome back."

I turned to the voice and gasped. Edward was sitting across the room, in a plush chair.

I sat up, a bit too quickly, and my head spun, the room swirling around me like I was on a carnival ride. Grabbing my head in both of my hands, I groaned.

"Careful," he said as he stood and crossed the room, sitting down next to me on the side of the bed. "You have a nasty bump on your head."

"What the fuck happened?" I asked, my voice coming out in a garbled mess.

"You assaulted Tanya, and she had you removed forcibly from her property. When I found out I went after Demetri and Felix. I knew they had you. All the fuckheads had to do was pull over so I could take you home, but they decided to run. They ended up crashing into a light pole, and you hit your head. You have a few stitches." He ran his fingers over the bandage. "I'm so sorry," he murmured.

I concentrated hard on my words, making sure I formed them well as the medication was still affecting me quite a bit. "What are you sorry for? I'm the one that should be sorry. I should have just taken that skank ass bitch's money….and what the hell? Tanya threw the first punch!"

He smirked at me. "I figured, and I knew you could kick her ass. She's got a bruise the size of a baseball on the side of her face and nasty scratch marks on her arms, but you…you only have wounds from the accident." He ran his fingers along the side of my face and my head spun once again, but it wasn't from my weak state.

I groaned and let myself fall back onto the pillows. "How did you get me out of my dress?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

The sly grin that slithered across his face said it all.

"No," I groaned.

He chuckled. "Bella, I've seen my fair share of naked women. Rest assured I didn't touch you in any way inappropriate. I couldn't leave you in that evening gown. It wouldn't have been comfortable. Besides, it was covered in blood, and I can't have blood on my bed."

I rolled away from him, grabbing the pillow with both hands and burying my face in it. No man had ever seen me nude, and it was humiliating. I wasn't wearing a bra with the dress because it had a halter top, and my panties were lace, revealing way too much. My face was hot, tears forcing their way to the surface as I tried desperately to control myself.

"Bella?" His hand rubbed small circles on my back. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to do so, but I didn't know how to take care of you. I've never had to take care of anyone before." His last words came out whispered, almost choked.

"It's okay," I mumbled into the pillow.

"No, it's not. What do you want me to do to make it better? Would you like me to go to work naked?"

I let out a choked laugh and rolled over to look at him. He was serious. "Um, don't you think that would be a little inappropriate for a boss?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care."

"No," I sighed, "you wouldn't."

His brow furrowed and he pursed his lips. "What is that supposed to mean?"

I looked straight into his eyes. "Hasn't nearly everyone at work seen you naked already? It wouldn't be a big deal."

He let out a quick breath, as if I'd punched him in the gut, and turned away from me, hiding his reaction. "You're right," he mumbled, "it wouldn't." He stood and walked toward the door. "I'll leave you to get dressed." He turned his head to the side, staring down at the dresser beside the door, and spoke. "I had Alice pack some clothes for you before we left for the premiere, in case you felt the need to change. They are in the closet." He pointed to a door on my left. "The restroom is there. Take your time. I'm in no hurry to get to work."

I gasped. I'd forgotten about work. He left me with my thoughts, and my thoughts were a scrambled mess. I wasn't completely sure this wasn't all a dream. Did everything I think happened really happen? I blinked my eyes wildly, wondering when I was going to wake up from this dream. Or was it a nightmare?

I slid out of bed and took in my surroundings. The room was large with dark wood floors. The bed stood in the center of the room against the wall opposite the door with a nightstand on each side. A lamp rested on the center of each nightstand. A lone dresser stood beside the door with a painting hanging above it. The art depicted a naked woman sitting in the grass, leaning against a tree. Her back to me, her head to the side, she was looking down at the flowers beside her. Her dark hair hung low on her back, her bottom and right shoulder the only skin revealed besides her face. I reached up and traced her profile, catching my breath. Had I not known any better, I would swear it was a picture of me. The likeness of her profile was uncanny. A shiver crawled through me and I had to look away.

The shower was calling my name, so I shuffled over to the restroom. I felt a bit uncomfortable using men's soap but grateful to be washing the previous night away. I carefully removed the bandage on my head to wash my hair, being as gentle as possible while also trying to be thorough. When I got out of the shower I couldn't find a towel and I instantly regretted not thinking ahead before I jumped into the water. I stepped carefully across the tiles, trying not to slip and split my head open again. My feet slid a few times, but I caught myself on the counter before disaster could strike again. I found a towel in the last cabinet I searched.

After carefully drying myself, and the wet floor from my dripping body, I examined my wound in the mirror. There were only a few stitches, and if I left my hair down it would be concealed. Wrapping the towel around me, I slipped out of the restroom and made my way to the closet.

When I opened the door, I sucked in a quick breath. The closet was nearly as big as my own bedroom. It had wall to wall clothes on three levels, with shelves and cabinets between neat sections of clothes organized by color. The shelves were full of shoes and other accessories.

In the center of the closet was a burgundy, circular couch with the clothes Alice had packed for me lying across it: grey slacks, white eyelet lace blouse and black shoes. I grinned when I noticed a matching set of a bra and panties. Everything still had tags, so I felt comfortable slipping into the clothes.

I stood, staring at myself in the three-way mirror Edward had in his closet. My hair was a tangled mess, so I shuffled over to the restroom to brush it out, finding Edward's brush on the counter. When I picked up the brush, I looked at his hair tangled in the bristles and pulled out a strand, wrapping it around my index finger.

Hmmm… I pulled the hair out of his brush, making sure to grab it all and turned toward the trash can. Before the hair left my fingers, I stopped myself. I'm not exactly sure why I did it, and to anyone else it may seem really strange, but I wanted this beautiful man's hair, so I rolled it up in my palm and shoved it into the front pocket of my pants. I then proceeded to brush my hair, making sure every tangle was gone.

I had no toothbrush, but a bottle of mouthwash smiled at me from his counter, so I rinsed my mouth three times to make sure my breath wouldn't be offensive. My pale face screamed for color, but I didn't have any makeup with me, so I pinched my cheeks a few times to give my face some semblance of blush. I stood back and frowned at my reflection. The red blotches failed at improving my appearance.

When I ran out of things to do I made my way to the bedroom door. Not sure of what to expect on the other side, I hesitated before reaching out and turning the knob. The door opened into a long hallway which I seemed to be at the end of. My shoes clicked along the dark wood floor and after five steps I decided to slip my shoes off. Shoes in hand, I tiptoed down the hall, peering around the corner at the end.

Edward's home was bland. Every wall was pale white with all furniture various shades of black, white, and grey. I stepped into the living room, a black leather sectional flanking a large flat screen. Across the room was a grand piano beside a set of sliding doors revealing nothing but blue sky. A clanking sound from beyond the living room caught my attention and I stepped carefully through the plush carpet to an opening on the other side of the room.

Hesitating, I sucked in a slow breath and peeked through the opening. It was the kitchen, also black and white in décor. Edward was standing over the stove, his back to me, serving food onto a plate. He reached over to pour juice into a glass and started humming an unfamiliar tune. I stood, staring in awe at this beautiful man as he fixed breakfast wearing nothing but jeans. My eyes roamed over his bare back, taking in every inch of his perfect skin, every curve of muscle in his shoulders, arms…

Points of light flashed before my eyes and I realized I'd stopped breathing. I sucked in a quick breath and Edward spun around, nearly dropping the plate he had in his hand.

"Fuck!" He took a deep breath. "You scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry." I scooted into the kitchen, leaning against the refrigerator, crossing my arms. "I didn't mean to startle you."

He grinned. "That's quite alright. Here…" He motioned for me to sit on the stool by the island in the center of the room, placing the plate and juice on a black placemat. "I made you breakfast."

I walked to the stool, aware of his appraising eyes, and sat before the plate. I noticed there was only one stool and mat. I also noticed there was only one plate and glass.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

He sighed. "I'm not too hungry this morning."

Knowing his eyes wouldn't leave mine, I tried desperately to keep my eyes on his face, but his bare chest was calling out to me. Before looking down at the food, my eyes swept across his body as swiftly as I could possibly manage, and in that quick glance, I was able to get an eyeful. The image of his firm chest, the lines of his well-developed abs, down to the V exposed by his low jeans was burned into my memory. His perfection made my breath falter once again and I had to take a deep breath.

Edward snickered and walked away, glancing over his shoulder, "I'm going to get dressed," he said before disappearing around the corner.

I looked down at my plate: two over easy eggs, two slices of bacon, a bowl of fruit and glass of juice. I wasn't usually a breakfast person but, looking at the food before me, knowing he spent the time to make it, I was suddenly famished. Scooping up a bit of egg, I placed it in my mouth, chewing carefully, savoring the flavor of spices he'd added. It didn't take me long to finish the meal, it was beyond delicious.

When I was done I made my way over to the sink to wash the dishes I'd used. I also grabbed the pan off the stove to wash it as well. While I was soaping up the plate, an arm wrapped around my waist and I jumped.

"Sorry," he murmured against my neck.

I looked back to see Edward standing behind me, way too close, wearing a suit.

"You know," he grinned, "you could just toss those in the dishwasher."

I blushed. I hadn't even thought to look around the kitchen for one. I was used to washing my dishes by hand at home.

"Oh," was all I could manage without hyperventilating. He was still standing over me, his breath sweeping over the back of my neck.

He backed away from me. "Are you ready for work?"

I turned to face him, flushed. "What time is it?"

"Ten."

"Holy shit!" I scrambled over to the counter, grabbing my shoes off the floor. "I'm fucking late!"

Edward laughed. "I'm sure the boss will forgive you."

I blushed once again, various shades of red covering one another. "Oh, yeah. I'm sure he will."

He offered me his arm. "Shall we?"

I pulled my arm though his. "We shall."

He led me through the living room and to another door that led up a flight of stairs. When we reached the door at the top, it opened up into a garage containing five cars, two I recognized, but the others I couldn't name. I'd never heard of a garage on top of a house.

The car he chose was a black Porsche, and that's about all I knew. I was surprised when we pulled out of the garage and I saw no house behind us.

"What the…"

Edward's laugh was booming. "I expected that reaction."

I turned to him, eyes wide.

"My home is built into the hill. Only the garage is visible from the top."

"But…you have glass doors…windows…"

"Yes, but the east side is exposed. You can see the sun rise through the windows. It overlooks my beach."

"Y…you're beach?" I stammered.

His grin was overpowering. I nearly exploded with wonder. "Yes, I own the beach along the hill, stretching for several miles I might add."

"Wow! Women must really love that."

He frowned. "I wouldn't know. You're the first woman I've ever had in my home."

I turned to him, searching his face, not sure whether or not to believe him. "You can't be serious."

"I am. Actually, you're the first person to set foot in my home aside from Lauren, my housekeeper."

"And your family, of course."

"Nope. Not even my family. I usually visit them." He glanced out his side window and took a deep breath, his brow furrowing. "Nobody ever comes to visit," he swallowed thickly, "and that's just fine by me."

Somehow I felt that it might not be fine, but I didn't want to pry. We continued swerving down the path, no other roads in view for miles, until we reached civilization.

Pulling into the garage at the office, I felt my butterflies come to life, fluttering about my stomach in a desperate attempt to escape the coming onslaught of questions. We walked toward the elevator, Edward keeping a safe distance between us. Had we not been together the night before, nobody would have guessed we were coming to work together.

Inside the elevator the tension was tangible. He stood opposite me as we leaned against the sides of the elevator. His gaze never left mine, and our mouths never opened. The elevator reached our floor, the binging sound snapping me back to reality. I turned toward the doors as they slid open, screeching lightly along the way, and stepped out into the lobby. Leah, the secretary, sat perched on her desk, reaching over for some paper that had fallen between her desk and the counter. I walked over to greet her.

"Good morning, Leah. You drop something?"

She looked up at me and gasped. "Um…Miss Swan, good morning…Mr. Masen…" She bowed her head, not making eye contact with Edward.

I looked over at him and saw his hardened glare. Ahh…the asshole is back. My inner Bella warned me. I leaned over and shoved my arm between the two pieces of furniture, grabbing the piece of paper between two fingers, and pulling it out for her.

"Thank you, Miss Swan," she murmured.

"Quit fucking around," Edward growled, "you have work to do, Miss Swan."

I turned and quickly followed Edward through the doors, down the aisle between the cubicles, and into his office. As we walked, every eye followed our movement, noting our late entrance…together, examining the distance between us, and forming their own speculations. If their eyes could burn holes, the back of my head would look like Swiss cheese.

When we entered his office he closed the door and locked it. I walked to my hole of an office and sat at my desk. My mind forced itself away from him, knowing he closed the door to talk to me but not sure I wanted to. With my back to the door, I leaned over to retrieve my bag from the bottom drawer of the desk. I'd left it in the office overnight, not wanting to take it to the premiere.

I felt Edward's presence in my core before he cleared his throat. I looked up to find him next to me, leaning against my desk.

"Can I help you, Mr. Masen?"

He looked at me, but he didn't say a word. Minutes passed as we just stared at each other. Leaning over, he pushed a stray hair behind my ear, letting his fingers brush along my neck and collarbone before running them through his beautifully tangled mess of hair. His eyes left mine for a fraction of a second and it seemed he was collecting himself.

"This is all very strange for me, Miss Swan. I want you to understand that I have a reputation. If I treat you like shit, I am apologizing before hand, and I never apologize. I am asking you to put aside my fucked up behavior and promise to remain my employee no matter what happens."

The pleading look in his eyes nearly had me jumping into his arms, promising him I would never leave no matter what he did or who he fucked, but my inner Bella chided me for the thought, tapping her foot and raising her fist to me.

"Mr. Masen, I will not make a promise I am not sure I can keep."

His eyes darkened. "So, you would quit this job if I fucked up?"

I grinned and looked down, realizing he was a bit vulnerable, and reveling in the thought. "Well, I'm not saying I want to quit, but it would all depend on how fucked up you really are."

I looked up at him and saw his face fall, his lips pulling down into a frown. He picked a loose strand of my hair off the front of my blouse, just above my breast, grazing my nipple with his fingers. A shiver ran through me, and my inner Bella had to calm me the fuck down or I would have had him on my desk in that instant, giving him what I'd never given to any man before.

He rubbed the strand between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it into a ball and placing it in his pocket. I grinned internally, knowing I had a pretty large ball of his hair in my pocket.

He sighed heavily. "Well then, would you like your last paycheck now or after work?"

I gasped, "What? You're firing me?"

"No. I'm being realistic. You probably won't last the day." With that he turned and walked out of my office.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?


	5. Chapter 5 - Only for You

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

 _ **Chapter 5 – Only for you**_

I sat at my desk staring through the open door at the small section of Edward's office within my view, a mahogany bookshelf standing next to a matching filing cabinet.

Drawers opened and slammed, papers shifted noisily about, and keyboard buttons were pushed forcefully. Minutes passed as I sat, staring into Edward's office, in a sort of trance, until his mumbled voice met my ears. He was on the phone and sounded irritated.

I listened, trying to decipher any words I could while starting up my computer. I couldn't. Watching my computer flicker through the process of booting up, I noticed a change in Edward's tone. His voice rose, the mumbles turning into distinct words.

"You _knew_ , you fucking knew, didn't you?" There was a long pause. "Don't fucking tell me that…no, I was out of town when she interviewed," he growled, pausing once more. _Is he talking about me?_ "You'd better have a fucking good explanation or you're going to regret your existence." He must have forcefully slammed the phone into its base, because there was a loud clatter and I noticed the light for number one on my phone flicker off.

Edward walked to his door, which was also in my view, opened it, and stormed out. Within minutes he was back, at my desk, panting as if he'd gone for a run.

"Is everything okay, Mr. Masen?"

Taking a moment to catch his breath, he reached out and placed a thick manuscript on the desk in front of me.

I grabbed it, the neatly typed title, _Those Who Wait,_ stared up at me _._

"What's this?" I looked at him and he grinned, though his eyes looked pained.

"It's a manuscript I would like you to read and work on."

I could feel my mouth spread into a beaming smile, nearly hurting my cheeks, but it soon faded, my face scrunching up in confusion. "Um…I didn't think my job consisted of…"

He cut me off. "Are you refusing an assignment?"

I gasped, "Oh, no. I'm sorry, Mr. Masen. Of course, I would be thrilled to take this on. I was just confused. I'd been given the impression my job consisted of, well…pretty much sitting here, waiting for you to call me."

He laughed out loud, humor replacing the pained look. "Who told you that? Alice?"

I grinned and nodded.

He stopped smiling, all traces of humor gone, and growled, "Did you just answer me by nodding your head?"

I caught my breath. _Shit!_ I'd forgotten his demand that I answer him verbally at all times. "Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, Mr. Masen, Alice told me."

He grabbed my phone, pressing number two, and grumbled into the receiver, "Alice, meet me in the conference room… _now_."

Hanging up, quite forcefully, he turned and stormed out of the office.

It certainly was turning out to be an interesting morning. I looked down at the manuscript. The author's name, Ankit, typed neatly at the bottom. That was it. No last name, unless that _was_ the author's last name, so it made me a bit curious. I flipped open to the first page and began reading.

 _Good things come to those who wait. That's what they say, but I've been waiting my whole life, and I've yet to have a good thing come…and stay._

The story went on to describe the wonderful childhood of a boy with hopes and dreams, and I was so captivated, deep into his world of love and carefree childish romps, I didn't notice Edward standing over me.

"How's it coming along?"

Startled by his voice, I gasped, nearly jumping out of my seat. "Shit! Ed…I mean, Mr. Masen, you scared me."

He grinned, "Payback is a bitch isn't she?"

I smiled, clearly remembering how I'd startled him earlier that morning. The thought of him in nothing but jeans flashed through my mind, making me blush. "Yes, Mr. Masen, yes she is."

Reaching over, he ran his fingers along my cheek. "You're blushing. May I ask, why?"

"I'd rather not divulge."

He pulled his hand away and ran it through his hair, reminding me of the little secret I still had in my pocket. Inwardly, I was beaming.

I watched as his face went from curiosity, to amusement. "So," he murmured, leaning closer to me, his nose inches from mine, "you want to call me Edward, don't you?"

 _Oh, God, yes!_ "Not if you'd rather I didn't."

"But you want to."

"Um…I'm not comfortable calling people by their last names. It seems too impersonal."

"So, you want to have a more…personal relationship with me?" He reached over and ran his fingers along the edge of my collar, lightly touching the side of my neck. "Less…businesslike?"

My body wanted him to touch me, in fact, I wanted to strip right then and there and take him on my very desk, but my inner Bella interfered, eyes glaring, fist in my face once again. My words shot out at him like daggers. "Mr. Masen, if you're asking whether I'd like to be another one of your fuck buddies, I'd rather not."

He stepped back, his brow furrowing, eyes blazing. "I don't want to fuck you, Miss Swan. In fact, you're the last woman in the world I would fuck."

I watched him storm out of the office, returning moments later with Irina, one of the staff.

He walked into my office and glared at me. "Get the fuck out."

"Where should I…"

"Just take the fucking manuscript and go the fuck somewhere else." Nostrils flaring, face reddened, I thought for sure his head would explode if I didn't get out right away.

As I passed Irina, I looked at her. Her head was down, eyes on her feet, but I could see the smirk on her face.

"Have a nice fuck," I told her as I walked out, hearing the door slam behind me.

Alice was by my side before I could take two breaths.

"Oh, no," she breathed. "What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

She grabbed my hand and led me to the conference room, closing the door and locking it behind her. I watched as she closed the blinds and scurried about, moving objects, placing material over some items.

"Okay."

"What was that for?"

"I covered the cameras and microphones so _you-know-who_ won't invade our privacy."

"Won't you get in trouble?"

"Nah, he puts up with me."

I pulled out a chair and sat down, feeling a bit confused. I could certainly understand why he didn't think I would last one day. Any _sane_ woman would have bailed by now. My sanity was quickly becoming questionable.

Alice walked up and sat on the table next to me, swinging her legs, looking down at me in expectation.

I needed to explain things to her. Of all people, she would probably be the only one to understand, and possibly give me constructive advice. She'd known Edward for so long, maybe she could shed some light on his behavior.

She grinned and nodded as I described the previous night's events. "Yes, he told me about that."

" _He told you_?"

"Yes, this morning in the conference room."

"Oh." I remembered him leaving my office earlier to meet with her.

I continued on with my story, Alice's grin turning into a deep frown when I neared the end. She laughed at the comment I made to Irina.

"Good for you, honey. Irina deserved it, but I wish you hadn't refused Edward like that."

 _What the fuck_? "You think I should let him fuck me like all the other women?"

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm just saying you shouldn't rub it in his face. He's not proud of the way he deals with stress."

At that I had to laugh. "Alice, I'm stressed and I don't go around acting like a whore."

She shrugged. "It's the only way he knows how to deal."

"Deal with what?"

"His loss." She crossed her hands and took a deep breath. "Edward has been through a lot, Bella. There are things you just don't understand. I know I gave you a horrid impression of him yesterday, and none of it was false, but I knew what would happen between the two of you had I _not_ warned you."

I nodded. "I would have slept with him."

"No doubt."

I reached for her hand, taking it in mine. "Thank you," I murmured, squeezing her fingers lightly.

"No problem."

We were startled when Edward barged into the room. "Alice, we need to talk." He looked at me. "You can go back to your office."

The look on his face scared me. He wasn't angry anymore, but either worried or really frightened.

"Yes, sir," I responded, grabbing the manuscript and making my way back to my desk.

As I walked past the cubicles, I glanced at Irina, who was whispering with four giggling women. It made me sick. Get fucked and brag. I wouldn't brag. _Then again_ …

I thought of his perfection, how his close proximity sent my body into another dimension, his breath caressing my neck, his fingers grazing my skin. _Oh, you know you would._ I nodded to myself and hurried back to my desk.

Time passed and I continued reading _, Those Who Wait_ , reaching the first conflict, the death of the boy's loving parents.

 _My wounded heart ached for my mother's loving embrace, my father's protection. Things I would never experience again and, at the tender age of ten, my childhood was over._

Those words ripped me apart inside, accessing parts of my memory I thought I'd lost. The pain of losing my parents, though I couldn't remember how, came to the forefront, pushing me into despair.

Tears crawled down my cheeks, my nose a runny mess, and as the words blurred before me. I couldn't read anymore.

"Here." Edward's unexpected voice made me flinch.

I looked up and saw the handkerchief he was offering me.

"Thank you." I took it and turned away from him to clean up my leaky face.

"If it's too much for you, you don't have to finish reading it."

Swiveling my chair back to face him, I stammered, "No, I um…I really like it." And I did, it was no lie. "I want to finish this assignment."

His mouth pulled up into that sexy ass crooked smile and I nearly hyperventilated right then and there. I had to look away.

"I'm sorry I treated you so harshly earlier."

"I thought you never apologized."

He frowned. "I don't." His brow furrowed and he looked down at the manuscript, fingering its edges. "For some odd reason, I feel the need to apologize to you quite frequently." Looking back up at me, I could see the sincerity in his eyes. "You have no idea what you do to me, Miss Swan. I am perplexed by the force of it all." With that he turned and walked out, once again leaving me to my thoughts.

Minutes later Alice appeared. "You ready for lunch?"

"Sure." I got up and followed her to the lounge where everyone was already eating.

We joined Jake once again.

"Hello, Bella." He smiled brightly, and I felt immediate comfort. There was something about Jake I really liked.

Alice brought up a manuscript she was reading and the two of them went off into a conversation about the similarities in plot. When they'd taken a moment to continue eating, I took the opportunity to mention my manuscript.

"Mr. Masen gave me a manuscript to look at this morning."

"Really?" Jake's attention shifted to me, forgetting about his food.

"Yeah."

"Who's the author?" He asked taking a swig of his drink.

"Ankit."

Jake spit his drink across the table, choking on it, and Alice's head snapped toward me, choking on her food as well.

After taking a moment to compose themselves, they looked at each other and then to me.

"Did I hear you right?" Alice asked. "Did you say, Ankit?"

"Um…yeah. What's the big deal?"

Just then, Edward walked into the lounge. He glanced in my direction, my eyes catching his, and continued on to grab a plate.

The whole room went silent.

"What does he think he's doing?" Alice's question was undoubtedly spoken thoughts not meant to be heard.

She looked at me, brows furrowed, then back at him.

"Is there a problem?" I asked, not caring about the volume of my voice.

Everyone turned to me as if to say, "Shut up!"

"Edward never eats with us," Alice whispered.

Everyone's eyes went back to Edward, watching as he piled food onto his plate. He turned, looking rather uncomfortable, and glanced around the room, his eyes stopping on mine once again. My heart twisted as I saw the discomfort in his eyes as he stepped forward, toward my table, and then did an about face and walked out of the lounge.

Everyone resumed conversation as I grabbed my plate and stood.

"Where are you going?" Alice and Jake asked simultaneously, turning to each other and saying "Jinks!" once again at the same time. They burst into giggles and I had to smile.

"I'm going to eat in my office. I'm really into this manuscript I'm reading."

"Ankit's story…" Alice shook her head slowly.

"Yeah, we'll talk about it later."

I turned to leave when Jake's voice caught my attention. "Hey, Bella?"

Looking back at him, I had to smile. His face was too adorable. "Would you like to go to dinner with me, tonight?"

Alice's head whipped around to glare at him, as if to say, "What the fuck are you doing?"

It made me curious, so I accepted. "I'd love to, Jake. Meet me in the lobby after work."

I turned, leaving a shocked Alice and beaming Jake, and made my way back to the place I knew Edward was.

When I walked through the door, Edward was sitting at the end of the large table in the conference room. He looked like a sulky child. I made my way to the seat next to him and sat down.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

"I would like to have lunch with you, Mr. Masen. Unless you'd rather eat alone."

"No. I quite enjoy your company, Miss Swan." Then he whispered, so low I wasn't sure I heard correctly, "You have no idea how much."

"Excuse me?" I asked.

He looked up at me, eyes pleading. "Let it go…for me?"

I nodded. "Sure."

We continued eating in silence, quick glances passing between us, and my mind suddenly shifted to Irina. I had to ask.

"Please don't get angry with me, Mr. Masen, but why do you feel the need to… _be_ …with every woman in this office?"

"I don't…and I believe the word you're looking for is _fuck_."

I looked down at my food, pushing kernels of corn around with my fork.

He sighed heavily. "Don't do that. I'm not angry with you." He reached his hand over to stop me from demolishing my food with my fork. "Bella, please look at me."

 _Bella? What happened to Miss Swan?_ I looked up at him and found his troubled eyes.

"I didn't fuck her if that's what you'd like to hear."

I smiled.

He removed his hand from mine, raising one eyebrow. "Do you find that funny?"

"No, I'm just glad you had the strength to restrain."

He looked down, pushing his plate away from him. "Actually, I didn't."

"Did she refuse you?"

He frowned. "Nobody refuses me, Miss Swan," he motioned with his hand toward me, "with one exception." He looked across the room at nothing in particular, undoubtedly making a decision. "Well, I'm sure you'll hear it buzzing throughout the office sometime, so I might as well tell you now."

He took in a deep breath and gazed into my eyes. "I didn't even touch her. My dick refused to respond, so I called in four more women, one at a time of course, and my dick refused each of them as well."

"So, you're manhood is failing you is he?"

His gaze turned into a furious glare. "My dick works fucking fine," he growled, standing and pulling me up by my arm. He shoved me against the wall, pressing his body into mine, and I felt his manhood grow against me, firmly standing between us.

"Oh," I gasped, and my inner Bella smiled wickedly.

He shifted his hips, rubbing his length against my pleasure spot, making me moan. His lips were so close to mine I was sure he would kiss me. I leaned forward, but he moved his head to the side, murmuring in my ear. "It seems to only work for you." He ran his hands up my sides, leaving a deep burning in my core. "Since I can't fuck you, I guess I'm shit out of luck aren't I?" He shifted his hips once more, sending tremors through my body, before he turned and stormed out, leaving me panting against the wall.


	6. Chapter 6 - The Truth

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

To all my wonderful readers out there: This was a very difficult chapter for me to write. I struggled through what I should reveal and how far I want my characters to go. I hope I have done you proud. No lemons yet ladies. Sorry!

Enjoy!

 _ **Chapter 6 – The Truth**_

Though Edward had walked away, I could still feel the burning hot trail left across my ribs from his touch. The throbbing between my legs wouldn't cease and my head spun. It took a while of concentration to gather my thoughts, smother the raging desire, and slow my racing heart. When I did I was even more confused with Edward Masen. The mystery he presented piqued my curiosity, but deep down I wondered if I _really_ wanted to know.

I wasn't sure I could face him again, so I sat back down and resumed pushing my corn around with my fork. Frustrated because he was breaking through my strict "no intimacy" barrier, I decided to demolish my food. It was somewhere between squashing the corn against potatoes and stabbing the meat to death when I felt a presence. Afraid it was him, I kept my head down. Hushed whispers indicated I had nothing to fear. I glanced over my shoulder and found three of the four ladies Irina had been speaking to earlier, huddled together in the doorway, looking at me.

They stepped forward, two of them pushing the first from behind, as if encouraging her to be the brave one.

"Can I help you, ladies?" I asked.

The first girl looked over her shoulder and the others nodded, egging her on. She looked at me, eyes wide, and smiled. "Hi! I'm Jessica. Um…we have a question for you." I remembered her as the woman that was sitting on his desk the day before.

Seeing their discomfort, I smiled warmly. "I'm not going to bite."

They all took a seat, scooting up close to me.

"Well," Jessica started twisting her hands together nervously, "we just want to know how you did it."

"How I did what?"

"You know, got to Mr. Masen."

"I...don't understand."

"Look. Everyone can see the way he looks at you. You've only worked here one day and we can already see a difference in him. Plus, he acted very strangely when he called us in today."

"What exactly do you mean by 'strangely'?"

"Well, he called me in and just stood across the room, staring at me. He didn't say a word. After a minute or two he opened the door and told me to leave."

"He did the same to me," the brunette said.

"Me too," the other blonde whispered.

Jessica sighed. "But not Irina, she said his…well, his…"

"His _dick_?" I couldn't help but smile when I said it, thinking of how just minutes ago it was pressed firmly against me.

"Yes. Well, she said it didn't, you know, work."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"We saw him leave this room with a stiffy. What are you doing, you know, different from what we are doing?"

"Are you insinuating that I'm sleeping with him?"

"Aren't you? I mean, we all know he sleeps with us. We've become quite good friends actually, because we know…or hope…someday…"

"Ah," I smiled at them, "you are each hoping one day he will choose between you."

She blushed and the others looked away from each other, ducking their heads.

"Yes," she admitted.

"To answer your question, no, I haven't slept with him. But, how could _you_?" I asked, my tone revealing my disgust.

"What do you mean?" she asked, the others looking at me for my response.

"Well, how can you all sleep with him knowing he's a sick fuck that just wants to use you as a release for all his pent up stress and anger?" By then I was starting to become exasperated, and it was hard to keep my voice down to a decent level. "How can you live with yourselves? Don't you realize you're nothing but toys to him?"

Jessica's eyes watered up, but I felt no remorse for her. I glanced at the others whose faces displayed various forms of shame.

Jessica stood, glaring at me. "How dare you judge us!"

"Wait," I reached out to grab her hand, "please sit."

She sat back down and crossed her arms, huffing loudly.

"Look, I don't mean to judge you, it's just…"

"I know," she sighed, "but it's hard to resist him. Don't you have trouble thinking coherently when he's close to you?"

I had to admit to myself that I did. I'd been lucky enough to have my inner Bella control me, and the fact that I was protecting my virginity to boot. I nodded my head, confirming my thoughts and answering her question. "I do, but I also have excellent self control."

"Look," Jessica placed her hand over mine, "when we all started here, Mr. Masen was only sleeping with Irina. As time passed, we each, well…pretty much threw ourselves at him. He's a man. Men think with their penises." She giggled and I had to smile. "You see, we've each had our battles with one another over which he wants more, but as time passed, we realized how very immature we were being. We decided we wouldn't let it get to us and agreed to let him have us all until he decided who to choose."

"Oh." I didn't really know what else to say to that, and it certainly didn't paint a very good picture of them.

"You see, the five of us have been spreading rumors that he's slept with every woman in the building. It's wrong, of course, but we don't want the numbers on the playing field to grow, which includes you…no offense."

"None taken," _I guess_.

"But, somehow, something has changed, and it started yesterday…your first day here. We want to know what you're doing?"

"I haven't done anything, and if you must know, I'm not planning on throwing myself at him. You have nothing to worry about."

Jessica grinned and the others giggled. "That's what we wanted to hear. Thanks."

They all got up and walked away. I was suddenly sick to my stomach. Those women had thrown themselves at him. What man with a working penis would resist? Edward placed himself in a vulnerable position with me several times, and I kept insisting I didn't want to be another notch in his belt. After my conversation with the ladies, I realized I was hardly that. He wasn't fucking every woman on two legs, just five women who'd offered themselves to him, giving him specific options…options he probably wasn't really considering. The twitchy penis syndrome: always in the way of making rational decisions.

I stood, cleared the table, dumped my plate along with Edward's in the trash, and headed back to my office. Edward was looking over some papers on his desk, groaning in irritation.

"Is everything okay, Mr. Masen?"

He looked up at me. "Please, call me Edward."

"Why? I've only worked here two days. I'm nobody special."

He looked back down at his papers. "You are to me."

I gasped and he looked back up.

"You are my assistant, Bella. We are going to be working very closely for, hopefully, a very long time. I think it's about time I allow my assistant to call me by my first name."

"Okay…Edward." I grinned, happy with the change. I turned and walked into my office, eager to get back to the manuscript.

I read on, feeling my heart tear as the boy was passed on from one family member to another, being mistreated, acting out his frustrations in school, falling into drugs and alcohol. For five years he merely existed, living in hell on earth, before he ended up in an orphanage. It was in that institution he met a special lady. She mothered him, mentored him, and led him to a clean and honest way of living. In this place, loved by her, he found his home.

I was deep into the thoughts of this young boy, feeling his every emotion, when heat started to build up in my stomach, surging through my veins. It was the same feeling I got when Edward was near. I looked up and found a pair of concerned green eyes staring at me.

"Do you need something?" I asked.

"No." He shuffled his feet, looking down at his shoes. "I just wanted to know how the reading was coming along."

"Famously, this Ankit is a wonderful writer."

Edward grinned. "You think so?"

"Yes, I do. Do you know the author well?"

He looked up from his shoes, into my eyes. "I believe I do."

"When can I meet him? I have so many questions."

"Well, I'll see what I can do. He's usually very busy." He glanced over his shoulder. "What the fuck?"

He turned. "Who the hell let you in here?"

A woman's voice cooed seductively, "Oh, did you miss me big boy?"

"Get the fuck out!"

I stood, recognizing the voice, and moved beside Edward. Tanya stood, eyes burning, with her hands on her hips. She was wearing long sleeves, no doubt covering the scratches I'd given her. Her thick layers of makeup were no match for the deep purple bruise across the side of her face.

"What do you want?" I asked. "Come for another beating?"

"You wish," she snapped.

"Make my wish come true, bitch."

"Hold it!" Edward reached his arm back to stop my advancing. "What do you want, Tanya?"

"I came to confirm your relationship. The _Town Crier_ wants to do a story on you, and all the buzz is out that you are no longer available. I am being interviewed tomorrow. Watch out, because if you're lying, it will be _very_ bad for you."

Edward stood, staring at Tanya, mouth partially opened.

"I thought so," she sneered, "lying will make for an interesting story."

"Who said we were lying," I growled.

Tanya grinned. "I can read Edward like a book. Besides, it doesn't even remotely make sense. _You_? Dating _him_? Fat chance, sweetheart."

I pushed Edward's arm out of my way, because I wanted to rip her fake ass hair extensions off of her head, but he wrapped his arm around my waist to stop me. When he pulled me against his side, another idea came to mind. I grabbed his face between my hands and pulled it down, shoving my mouth against his. He responded eagerly, parting his lips and allowing my tongue access to his. He pushed me against the doorframe, his length once again present.

"That doesn't prove a thing," Tanya growled and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

We continued kissing, and somehow it felt different from our first kiss. My impression of him had changed, giving our contact a whole new edge. I whimpered as his hands ran up my neck and into my hair, pulling at the strands forcefully. He spun us around, leaning me against my desk, and shoved his hips into me. I had to catch my breath. His lips made their way across my jaw and down my neck, hands reaching my breasts, thumbs running over the material across my nipples, sending a shiver though me. I groaned out loud.

He pulled back at the sound. "I'm sorry," he panted, releasing his hold on me and stepping back.

"It's okay," I breathed.

He shook his head. "No, I shouldn't have reacted that way."

"I kind of liked it," I breathed. Heat rose into my face and I could feel myself blushing.

His grin made my legs weak, and I had to concentrate on not sliding to the floor in a puddle of Bella goo.

"You saved me once again," he said. He stepped closer to me, reaching his hand out to push a strand of hair behind my ear. "It's too bad we're lying."

"Do you want it to be a lie?" I asked.

His eyes widened, but before he could respond there was a knock on his door. He turned and walked over to answer it. At first he had a glower on his face and I thought Tanya might have returned, but when he looked at me, the disappointment in his eyes very nearly brought me to tears. Something hurt him.

"Yeah," he motioned for the visitor to enter.

Jake walked in and leaned against my door. "Hey, Bella! You ready for dinner?"

"Oh, shit! I'm sorry Jake. I completely forgot about dinner. Um..." Before I could move, I had to compose myself momentarily, shake away the sensation left by Edward that was still running through my senses.

As I grabbed my things, Edward leaned against the wall next to his door, looking forlorn. Jake walked out and I followed behind him, stopping to touch Edward on the shoulder. "This is completely innocent, Edward. I won't do anything to jeopardize our lie. I promise," I whispered.

He nodded his head and pushed away from the wall, heading back to his desk. I stood for a moment, staring at his retreating figure, wanting desperately to comfort him. The strange thing was I couldn't understand why that feeling was so strong. I'd only known this man for two days, and I was already falling into his web, soon to be wrapped in his silk, ready to be eaten alive. I turned and followed Jake.

We made it to the lobby when it hit me. I couldn't leave Edward like that! I'd made a promise to him and I was breaking it by going out to dinner with this man I hardly knew. Granted, I hardly knew Edward, but I'd made a commitment.

The elevator opened and Jake stepped in, turning to smile at me. I felt so bad letting him down, but I had to. He could see the hesitation in my eyes, because he stepped back out of the elevator.

"Oh, no," he groaned, "no, no, no, NO!"

"What?"

He put his hands on my shoulders. "You're letting him get to you, aren't you?"

"No, it's not like that, Jake."

"To hell it isn't!" His nostrils flared, and his faced darkened through his anger as his grip on my shoulders tightened.

"Ow!" I shoved him back, breaking his hold on me. "Look, I don't know you, and you sure as hell don't know me, so don't fucking judge what you don't fucking know!" I spat, truly infuriated at how I'd been judged not only by him but by the other ladies as well.

I spun around and headed back to the office. When I reached the door, Edward was on the phone. I peeked into the room.

"No, she doesn't remember." There was a long pause. "I know…she's reading it." He turned in his desk and caught me eavesdropping. "Uh…I gotta go." He hung up and jumped to his feet.

Pushing the door open, I stepped into the office.

"Did you forget something?" he asked.

"Yes. I forgot the promise I made to you." I walked across the room to stand before him. "Since we're 'dating'," I made the quotations in the air with my fingers, "I shouldn't be eating out with other men. At least until you dump my ass." I grinned sheepishly.

My stomach twisted and I had to catch my breath as his lips pulled up into a crooked grin.

"And what makes you think I would dump your sexy ass?"

"Sexy, huh?"

He raised one eyebrow. "Did I stutter?"

 _Oh, he is bad._

I blushed and he reached up to run his fingers across my cheek. "I'm glad you didn't go out with Jake."

"Really? I couldn't tell." I glanced down at his package, standing at full salute.

"Shit!" He turned away from me. "I swear he has a mind of his own."

"It's okay. I'm not offended. I guess normally I would be, but with you it's different somehow."

"Really?" He turned back to me.

My stomach growled and he laughed. "Someone needs to eat."

I turned away, embarrassed.

"Look, I have tons of work. I'd take you out but…"

"You know," I picked up his phone, "there's always take-out."

He shrugged. "Sure, why not."

I dialed my favorite Chinese restaurant down the street.

"What do you want?" I asked, covering the receiver.

"Whatever you're having is fine," he said while looking back over some papers.

I ordered the Kung Pao Chicken and Chinese Three Delight because those were my two favorites. I figured he could choose one or we could possibly share both. I was hoping for the latter.

While waiting for the food I grabbed the manuscript and sat on the leather sofa he had in his office. I remembered the discomfort of the leather chair on my first day, and the black leather sofa in his home. _He must have a thing for leather._ I shifted, bringing my legs up to my right side, leaning on the arm to get comfortable. Realizing my shoes were still on, I kicked them to the floor, the clatter catching Edward's attention. He looked up from his work and smiled.

"Sorry," I muttered.

He just nodded and went back to work.

I busied myself with the story, living through the eyes of a young man.

 _I was fifteen the day my eyes set sight on perfection, and my heart was hers. There was nothing I wouldn't do for this young beauty, and in the two years I'd had the pleasure of spending with her, I couldn't break her of her pain. I'd tried, and failed. I offered all of myself to her, made her as happy as a young man could manage, but I was setting myself up for the worst possible pain I'd ever feel._

I read on about their blooming relationship, how they often slipped into the woods unnoticed to be alone. They shared their deepest darkest secrets and desires with one another. Pages and pages I read, not wanting to leave the beautiful world of first love.

 _I didn't realize what it was. It was my seventeenth birthday, and I was surrounded by friends and those I considered family, but there was only one guest that mattered. When she walked through the door with my cake in her hands, I very nearly fell to my knees right then and there and asked her to be mine forever. It was a silly thing to consider at the young age of seventeen, but I wanted her, and I knew my heart would only be hers. When we had the opportunity to slip away, I took her to our place._

 _She leaned against our tree, her back to me. "I'm leaving," she said._

 _My heart sank, plummeting into a deep dark despair. "What?"_

 _She turned to me. "One of my relatives has come to claim me. I was told this morning that he will be picking me up today. We will be moving across the country."_

" _No!" I choked on the word. My world was falling apart and I was helpless to do anything about it. "You can't leave me. We can…we can run away together."_

" _Where are we going to go?"_

 _I reached out for her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her close. "I'll think of something."_

 _She ran her fingers through my hair. "No." Her hands ran down my back, igniting a burning in my belly. "I'll come back for you. I promise."_

 _We held each other for an infinite amount of time, and I willed that time to stand still for us. It didn't. It did, however, leave me with something so much more._

Before I could read on, the phone rang and both Edward and I jumped in our seats.

"Oh," I gasped.

"It's the food." Edward answered the phone. "Yes…bring it up." He grabbed his wallet and walked to the door. "I'll be right back." He walked out, leaving me to the story.

 _The sight of her bare skin before me was like no other. I was no hormonal teenager with needs. Our situation was very different. I'd never been with a girl and she'd never been with a boy. Both of our lives before each other were void of those kinds of relationships, our sole desire being survival. Now it was only her and I, the only two souls left on Earth, and we were going to join them at last._

 _Making love to her cannot be expressed in words, but if I could it would be a culmination of every joyful event imagined, combined into a pillar of ecstasy, holding up an unbreakable bond for all the world to behold. At the climax of our rapture, I gazed into her eyes and we both cried, clinging to each other in desperation, not knowing if we'd see each other again._

" _I love you," I breathed against the warm, ivory skin below her ear._

I turned the page.

"And I love you, my Ankit bear." Edward quoted the next line perfectly.

I gasped and realized he was reading over my shoulder.

"Sorry, did I startle you?" he asked, and then his brow creased. "Are you crying?"

I was crying. I reached up and wiped away the tears that were washing down my face. "Um…sorry."

"It's okay," he ran his finger across my cheek catching a tear I'd missed.

We ate in silence, and though we didn't speak, it wasn't awkward. I felt comfortable sitting next to him on the sofa, eating out of Chinese carry-out boxes. He used the chopsticks and I used a fork. There was no way I was going to embarrass myself with chopsticks. I'd end up with food all over myself, and the office as well. He chose the Kung Pao Chicken, though he reached over more than once to pick at mine.

"Nuh-uh-uh," he shook his finger back and forth, denying me a chance to pick at _his_ food. I didn't mind, laughing it off as he reached over to pick at mine once again. I smacked his hand and he gave me that you-better-let-me-or –else look.

I let him.

When we finished eating Edward snatched the manuscript from my hand.

"I think we should save this for tomorrow. I'll hold it for you here on my desk." He placed it next to his pile of papers.

"Are you sure it won't get lost in your mess?"

He snickered. "I hope not. Maybe _I'll_ get lost."

"Well, if you're missing in the morning, I'll send the search party to your desk."

He smiled warmly, and I liked the overwhelming joy I felt in that one expression. The room was thick with delight, and I hated that I had to go home, but it was getting late, and I didn't want to be tired and loopy the next day.

I hesitated before speaking. "I'd better get going."

"Okay." He seemed genuinely disappointed, and it made me smile inside. "Can I walk you out?"

"Sure."

We walked in silence. The elevator ride was excruciatingly slow. We stole glances at one another, grinning and blushing in turn, until we reached ground level. He walked me to the door, waving at the night security as he unlocked the entrance for me.

When I stepped out, a cool breeze blew through my hair, sending it across Edward's face. He laughed.

"Thank you for staying and having dinner with me. You didn't have to."

"I know, but I wanted to." _I really did._

He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Good night, Bella."

"Good night," I murmured.

That night I couldn't sleep. Each time I closed my eyes I was met by two burning, green orbs. It was as if Edward's soul traveled through the city to meet me in my dreams. His touch, his breath, his lips on mine…I couldn't get enough of him. As if I was tossed into Ankit's story, Edward and I were in the trees, making sweet love to one another. His hands burned against my skin, igniting a fire within that grew, consuming me. Though amorous, there was one thing that bothered me, almost turning my bliss into a nightmare. The Edward in my dreams was at least six years younger. His hair was shorter, muscles less defined, face smooth, and smile beaming. The innocence in his eyes was what made me choke, the purity of young love in all its glory. He kissed me passionately, and my heart sank. I woke up crying, wishing Edward were like that young man in my dreams, but knowing he never would be.

The beeping of the alarm clock startled me, sending me rolling off my bed.

 _Shit_! I landed on the hard wood floor, my head missing the foot of my nightstand by less than an inch.

I crawled across the room and used the dresser to pull myself up. Shuffling to the restroom, I showered and prepared for day three of work. I remembered Alice telling me to get to the office before 7:30 in order to be there before Edward. I decided that would be a great idea.

I dressed in a grey pin stripe skirt with a black silk blouse. My black pumps worked nicely with the outfit. I decided to keep my hair down, brushing it out so it fell deftly across my shoulders.

As I passed my kitchen, contemplating a quick cup of coffee, the thought of Edward standing half-naked by my stove invaded my thoughts. I felt my stomach tighten and I immediately dismissed the image, forgetting the coffee altogether, and headed out the door for work.

I made it to the office by 7:15 and decided it would be nice to begin reading again while nobody was around to interrupt me. When I reached Edward's office I noticed the door was cracked open. I pushed on it slowly. Through the faint blanket of light that filtered through the window from the streetlights outside, I saw Edward sitting at his desk, head down, sound asleep.

I crept slowly across the room and over to him. He was breathing heavily, a slight snoring sound coming from each breath he took, and I smiled. Reaching over, I touched his shoulder to nudge him and realized he was very tense. I positioned myself beside his chair and squeezed lightly on both of his shoulders, massaging circles into his back, and he groaned. Oh, how I loved the sound.

He turned his head to the side and opened his eyes. I knelt down beside him and he shifted in his seat so we were face to face, his eyes glazed over with sleep. He reached up and placed his hands on each side of my face, pulling me to him, his forehead touching mine, my nose touching his. His eyes closed and he breathed across my lips, "I've missed you, so much. I'm broken without you. Please come back to me."

"Excuse me?" I asked.

His eyes shot open and he sat upright, dropping his hands from my face.

"What the fuck?" he stammered, "Where the hell?" He glanced around the office, which was still dark. Reaching over the desk, he flicked on a lamp and looked down at me. "Bella?" He rubbed his eyes and blinked wildly before looking back at me. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to work early."

"Oh."

He must have been having quite a dream to wake up and imagine I was someone else. I frowned inwardly, feeling the pain in his misspoken sentiment, and stood to get to work. When I turned to walk away, Edward's hand reach out for mine.

"Wait."

I turned back to him.

"Have you eaten breakfast?" he asked.

"No."

He frowned. "You really shouldn't skip such an important meal." He rose. "Come, I'm going to take you to eat."

"Mr…I mean, Edward, you don't have to…"

"Hush," he placed his finger over my lips and I felt a tingle go through me. "I'm going to take you out and that's final. Do you understand?"

I nodded my head. "Yes, sir."

He grinned widely. "That's my girl."

My face lit up, _my girl_ , I could definitely get used to being called that.


	7. Chapter 7 - Diner

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

 _ **Chapter 7 - Diner**_

Edward glanced at his watch. "Give me a minute to freshen up. I'll meet you in the lobby in ten."

"Okay."

He grinned and walked around me, his body lightly brushing against mine in the process, and walked out. My heart jumped, trying desperately to escape the confines of my chest to follow him. It took me a few minutes of concentration to calm my nerves before I made my way to the lobby.

The massive clock above Leah's desk read seven forty five. Nobody was around yet, so I assumed there were no early birds working for Edward. One wall displayed a large bulletin board covered with papers and photos. All of the pictures seemed to be organized on one half of the board, so I walked over to take a look.

Some photos were taken at office parties and others were of various publishing celebrations. Glancing over them quickly I noted that Edward was in only three of about fifty. I found it odd that the owner of the company would be in so few. Was he such an atypical being that he couldn't enjoy the pleasantries of office festivities?

The first picture was of an office party. Alice, wearing a party hat, was blowing a party horn with her arm wrapped around Edward. He was pushing away from her with a grimace on his face. Sitting at his desk, he had a stack of papers in front of him. I wondered if he was a workaholic or just annoyed with Alice.

The second made me smile. It was a group picture of their Halloween party. Everyone was dressed up in various costumes, gathered together behind Edward. He sat in a chair with Alice on one side, dressed as a bar maid, and Irina on the other, dressed as a sexy devil, both leaning over to kiss him on his cheek. The grin on his face was priceless.

In the last picture he was surrounded by a group of authors. Every person held their book in the air with a goofy grin plastered on their face, every person except him. A man in a deep blue suit was shaking his hand while handing him an award. I looked deep into Edward's eyes and felt a tug on my heart. For some reason, his pain showed through in the picture, and I wondered what could have happened to him to cause such sorrow on an important day. Reaching out, I ran my finger across his face.

"Hey." Edward's fresh breath licked the back of my neck startling me.

"Oh!" I spun around and nearly fell over.

He caught me around my waist and steadied me. "Woah! Careful now."

"I'm sorry, I…" I stammered, glancing back at the photos. "I was just looking…"

He laughed. "It's okay. See anything interesting?"

He turned to look at the photos.

"Well, this one is certainly a keeper," I said, pointing to the Halloween photo.

"Uh…" he glanced sideways at me. "I guess."

"What about this one?" I asked, pointing to the last picture. "Why aren't you smiling like all the other goofballs?"

His lips twisted and he took a deep breath. "It wasn't a very good day." He turned to me. "I told Alice not to put that picture up." He reached over and snatched it off the board. "She insisted, as always." He folded the photo in half and shoved it into his shirt pocket.

My eyes drifted across his white shirt, unbuttoned on top revealing a bit of chest hair, then traveled up his face noting a bit of stubble along his jaw. His eyes drooped a bit. It looked like he could use some more sleep.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Not really," he chuckled, "but I'll let you know when they invent office chairs that convert into king-sized comfort mattresses."

"Please, then I can get one for my office too." I imagined having one in that tiny room, probably taking up every square inch, and laughed.

His face suddenly turned serious, cutting my laughter short. All humor melted away, his eyes determined, his jaw clenched, as he reached over and ran his fingers up my neck and along my jaw. He leaned over, his lips so close I could almost taste them, his eyes boring into mine. Heat rose into my cheeks and I looked down, the intensity of his stare toying with my senses.

The elevator sounded and we both turned to see Leah and Irina step through the doors. They both stopped mid-stride to gape at us.

Edward wrapped his arm around me. "Is there a problem?" he growled.

They both looked down.

"No sir, Mr. Masen, sir," Leah said as she walked to her desk.

Irina kept her head down as she turned toward the office.

"Irina."

She turned toward Edward but did not look at him. "Yes, Mr. Masen."

"I will be out of the office today. You will have my edits for me first thing tomorrow morning."

"But…" she looked up at him, and upon seeing his glare she looked back down. "All three?" she asked.

"Yes… _all three_."

"Sir, I…"

"You _will_ have my edits."

"Yes, sir," she murmured as she turned and headed into the office.

Edward flipped his phone open and dialed. "Alice…I'm going to be out of the office today. Reschedule my afternoon meeting for next week Thursday." There was a long pause. "No…" He glanced at me then settled his eyes on his feet, shifting from one foot to the other nervously. "She hasn't…I'll let you know." He closed the phone with a quick flip of his fingers and looked at me. "What?"

My bewilderment was tangible. "You confound me completely."

He frowned. "Good."

"Why is that a good thing?"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the elevator. "Because I prefer it that way."

We didn't speak when we entered, stealing glances at one another like the night before, only it was a bit awkward. My nerves were getting the best of me, and I felt myself growing anxious, wringing my hands together as I stared at the numbers blinking with our descent.

Edward reached out and grabbed my hands, prying one out of the other to hold it gently in his. Instantly, as if a switch had been flipped, my nerves calmed. The elevator door opened and he lead me through the building and into the garage.

He ushered me to his Porsche and helped me in. Before I could reach up for the seatbelt Edward grabbed it and leaned over to fasten the buckle for me. His close proximity nearly drove me mad. He paused, his breath fluttering across my lips, his eyes finding mine once more before slipping back and closing the door. I had to remind myself to breathe before he entered the car.

The ride to the restaurant was long and quiet. My nerves bunched up once more, locking me within myself. Edward was quite the gentleman, opening the car door for me and helping me out.

The place he'd taken me to was a small diner in the slums of the city. I wondered why he would even consider eating in such a dump but changed my mind the instant we walked through the door. It was a quaint little place that felt welcoming, like coming home from a long journey. Apparently others thought so as well. The place was packed, every table taken, every stool along the bar occupied.

Edward held my hand while we waited for the next available table. Stroking my palm with his fingers, he pulled my hand up and examined it, gently running his finger from the heel to the center.

"You have a long life line," he pointed out.

"Yes."

He smiled, tracing it with his fingertip. "I'm glad." His eyes met mine, and I saw something in them, something strangely familiar. A flash of my dream came to me, the younger version of Edward, but there was pain, such a deep pain in his eyes. It was the same pain Edward had now.

A man motioned for us to follow him to a table.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

His forehead crinkled and he frowned. "Nothing is wrong."

"But I can see…in your eyes. There's something wrong." I sat down on my side of the booth.

"Well…" He slid into the seat across from me. "Nothing is wrong per se." He thought for a moment. "I've had a few things in my past come up recently…things that are causing my life to spin wildly out of proportion." As if holding a butterfly's wing, he grabbed my hand from its place on the table and gently squeezed it. "I'd explain, but you wouldn't understand." His lips twisted. "I think you'll find out soon enough though."

"So, why not tell me now?"

The waitress had impeccable timing, stepping up to the table before he could say any more. Her long blonde hair caught my attention immediately. She was beautiful. "May I take your…" She looked at Edward and gasped, reaching up to cover her mouth. " _Edward_?"

His eyes widened and he choked, "Rose?"

"Oh my god! How long has it been?" She turned to me and her eyes grew wide, "Holy shit! Where've you…"

Before she could finish her sentence, Edward jumped up and pulled her away from the table. He took her to the end of the diner and started speaking to her animatedly, gesticulating wildly as he conveyed his message. When they returned, Rose glanced at me and then away, keeping her eyes on the pad and pencil she was holding.

"Um…your drinks?" she asked.

"I'll have a coke," Edward responded.

"Me too?" I said, but it sounded more like a question.

"Um…" Rose tapped her pencil nervously on the pad. "Are you ready to order?"

Edward looked at me and I stumbled through my response. "I'll have the…uh…the morning special with…um…bacon?" Again, my words were questioning.

Rose quickly jotted down my order and looked expectantly at Edward.

"I'll have the pancakes supreme with a side of fresh fruit." He held out the menu for her to take, his eyes on me the entire time.

I looked up at our waitress as she wrote out his order, breaking the tip of her pencil in the process. "Shit!" She looked at me. "Oh, I'm sorry…ma'am." She turned and walked away, glancing back at me twice on her way to the kitchen.

"What was _that_ all about?" I asked.

"Oh, she's just an old friend." He scanned the room, nervous vibes permeating the atmosphere.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He closed his eyes tightly and murmured under his breath, "What the hell was I thinking?"

"Edward?"

He looked up at me from beneath his long lashes.

I sighed heavily, tired of his games. "Look, I wasn't born yesterday. Something is bothering you, so would you just spill it already?"

He took a deep breath. "Yeah, I um…used to come here as a kid…a lot. I haven't been here in years, so I didn't expect anyone I knew to still be around." He took another deep breath. "I'm just not into all the happy reunion bullshit. You know?"

I nodded. I knew exactly what he was talking about. "I totally get it. People walk up to me all the time. 'Hey, remember me? I sat next to you in Biology?' Shit if I know. I can't even remember what school I went to. Actually, I wouldn't know anything at all if I hadn't had so many people tell me."

"People have told you about your past?"

I shrugged. "Well, some stuff."

"Like?"

I couldn't fathom why he would be interested in my past. It wasn't something I wanted to focus on, especially since there wasn't much left in my brain to focus on anyway. I looked away from him, pulling my hands into fists.

"I don't want to talk about it," I spat.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

When I looked back at Edward I could see he was genuine in his sentiment. I grinned and looked over his shoulder, finally taking in my surroundings.

Against the far wall there was an old pie sign, below it a blackboard with the daily specials written in white chalk. I glanced to the right where a Coca Cola sign hung over the order window. A strange tingle went through my veins as the young cook smiled at me. I blinked and his face was years older. I turned to Edward whose face was the younger version of him…the one in my dream. I blinked wildly, rubbing my eyes, his face returning to its original state.

"What the fuck?"

"Are you okay?" he asked, reaching out to touch the back of my hand.

"Yeah, I just have a strange feeling I've been here before."

"Like déjà vu?"

"Um…yeah, I guess." My inner Bella spoke up. _There is a jukebox on the opposite side of the diner with a black cat clock above it._ I turned around, and when I saw the old jukebox with the clock above it, the cat's black tail moving in sync with its eyes, I felt the room spin and I had to put my head down.

I squeezed my eyes shut, taking in deep breaths. I felt Edward scoot into the booth beside me. He rubbed my back.

"Bella?"

"I'm fine…I'll be fine."

When I sat up, I laid my head back and stared up at the ceiling. Even the stained glass light above me looked familiar.

I turned to Edward. "I've been here before."

He gasped, "You remember?"

"No."

His face dropped.

"Well, I wouldn't call it remembering. It's more like a dream, like flashes. Nothing concrete."

"Oh."

 _Who Put the Bomp_ by Barry Mann came on and we both turned to see an old man in front of the jukebox.

"Shit, it still works!" Edward's grin was adorable.

"So, you like to listen to oldies?"

"Well, we…I mean, my best friend and I used to come here all the time. We would laugh at all the music. It was a bunch of corny love stuff, but there was this one song…" He trailed off in thought, his smile becoming more prominent. His eyes lit up, "Wait a minute…" He stood and made his way over to the jukebox.

I watched as he scanned through the songs, inserted a coin and pressed a few buttons. He walked back and sat across from me.

"What did you pick?" I asked.

"Na-uh-uh," he said while shaking his finger in front of me. "You have to wait and see."

The last of the rama lama ding dongs played out and I listened patiently for the next song to begin. I leaned back and closed my eyes, waiting for the words to flow though the diner.

 _oh, oh, oh, oh, wah-ah-ah, oh, oh, oh, oh_

 _Earth angel, earth angel  
Will you be mine?  
My darling dear  
Love you all the time  
I'm just a fool  
A fool in love with you_

"Holy shit!" I lifted my head and found Edward with a silly grin on his face. "I know this song!"

"Uh, it _is_ a classic oldie, Bella."

"That's not what I meant…I really _know_ this. You know, like a favorite song or something." I sat back and listened as the rest of the song played out. It was funny how I seemed to know the words, not remembering where I'd last heard this song or why I knew it so well. Like Edward said, it was a classic. The words flowed through my lips as I sang along with the end.

 _I fell for you and I knew  
The vision of your loveliness  
I hope and pray that someday  
That I'll be the vision of your happiness_

 _oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh , oh, oh, oh_

 _Earth angel, earth angel  
Please be mine  
My darling dear  
Love you all the time  
I'm just a fool  
A fool in love with you-ou (you, you, you) _

The last note rang out just as Rose showed up with our plates. Her hands shook as she placed my plate in front of me.

She looked at Edward when she spoke. "Can I get you anything else?"

Edward looked at me.

"I'm fine."

"We're good," he said with a warm grin.

She nodded and walked away, hesitating to take one last look at me.

"Now I _know_ I've been here before."

"What makes you say that?" He poured the bowl of fresh fruit over his pancakes and pushed the plate aside. He then placed his elbows on the table, intertwining his fingers, leaning his chin against his hands.

"Well, she _obviously_ knows me. She must have waited on me before."

"Possibly."

I looked at his untouched pancakes. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"Sure." He reached over and grabbed my plate, shoving his toward me.

"What are you doing?"

"Trust me," he said as he started digging into my eggs.

"I don't want this!" I pouted, shoving the plate away from me.

"Eat," he demanded, pushing the plate back at me.

I huffed loudly and crossed my arms. _Why the hell didn't he just order what he wanted instead of stealing mine? Is he trying to annoy me to death?_

"Come on," he grinned, mouth full of food, "dig in. You'll love it." He continued eating, ignoring me as I sat, pouting.

After a minute or two I decided the pancakes did look pretty good. I cut a piece and reluctantly shoved it in my mouth. One bite and I was in heaven. I moaned as the fruity flavors exploded in my mouth. "Oh my god," I mumbled between bites.

In a matter of minutes I was done, having cleared my plate before Edward. I wiped my mouth and sighed.

"I told you you'd love it."

I raised an eyebrow and leaned forward. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," he grinned.

"Hmm…"

The jukebox started up again, playing an Elvis song, reminding me of the song Edward picked earlier.

"So," I placed my elbow on the table and leaned my head against my hand. "What's so special about _Earth Angel_?"

He choked on his last bite. "Um…" He took a few seconds to swallow, washing his food down with a drink of soda. "My friend and I…well, it was sort of our diner song."

"Diner song?"

"Yeah, we had two songs. This is the one we listened to when we ate here."

"I have a feeling this friend was a girl."

"Yes, she was."

"And…she was your girlfriend?"

He looked down at his empty plate. "Yeah, she was."

"What happened?"

His troubled eyes found mine. "She's gone."

I remembered him telling me about his lost love. "I'm so sorry."

"S'okay." He waved at Rose. "You ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Rose walked up and he handed her a hundred dollar bill.

"This should cover it, honey."

She grinned at him. "Always the charmer." She leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Come again…soon."

He stood and reached his hand out to help me up. I took it, sliding awkwardly out of the booth.

Rose startled me by wrapping her arms around my neck in a big hug. "You come back too," she whispered.

Confounded by her actions, I stammered, "Um…yeah, I will."

As we walked to the door, I turned toward the man at the counter and words flowed from my lips of their own accord. "See ya whenever, Harry!"

"See ya, sugarpie!"

I stopped, my feet glued to the floor. _What the fuck was that?_

Edward grabbed my hand and tried to pull me through the door.

"Wait." I spun around and walked up to the man. "Your name is Harry."

"Yes," he said. "Haven't seen _you_ around in...boy, it's been years, sugarpie!"

I grinned. Though I didn't remember, the fact that some things were coming to me made me feel wonderful. I was used to people telling me what I'd forgotten. It was nice to feel like I was making progress on my own.

"Edward," I turned to him, feeling like the sun was finally breaking through the clouds covering my life. I smiled so widely it hurt my cheeks. "I'm remembering."

"That's great." He turned and walked out.

"Uh…" I looked back at Harry. "I'll see ya!"

He nodded and grinned.

"Edward?" I walked out and found him leaning against the diner with his head down. I walked over to stand in front of him. "What's wrong?"

He looked me in the eye and frowned. "So, you remember Harry, huh?"

"Um…kind of, it just came to me. Isn't that great?"

"Yeah, sure." He pushed away from the wall and walked to his car without a look back at me.

"What's eating _you_?" I called as I made my way toward him.

"Nothing. Let's go." He got in the Porsche and started it.

I stood next to his car for a long moment before I got in. "Where are we going?"

The atmosphere in the car was dismal. It was penetrating my euphoria, deflating it, making me feel like shit.

He leaned his head against the steering wheel. "What did I do wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. I really enjoyed breakfast."

"No," he turned to me, tears in his eyes. "What the fuck did I do to deserve this?"

"Deserve what?"

He shifted in his seat to face me, eyes burning with fury, and I was suddenly terrified. He slammed his fist against the seat and screamed like a mad man before he grabbed me by my shoulders and yelled in my face, "TO LOSE EVERYTHING!"

I felt myself buckle inside, everything curling up in the pit of my stomach. Wanting to crawl inside myself and take cover, I squeezed my eyes shut and whimpered.

"No." Edward wrapped himself around me, pulling me against him. It was awkward being pulled across the stick shift to be held, but I welcomed his touch. "Please, don't do that. I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm sorry."

I then realized he was shaking. My arms snaked around him, lightly hugging him back.

He held me for a few minutes, stroking my hair with his hand, before he leaned back against his seat. Staring out the front windshield, he took a deep breath and said, "I just don't understand what I did to make God, or whoever is in control of my destiny, so angry. Why everything I've ever held close had to be taken from me." He turned, his eyes a thousand miles away, yet still with me. "Do you know why?"

I shook my head, unsure of what to say but feeling as if I should say something. "You know, I've had everything taken from me as well. The thing is, I can't remember what I lost."

His smile was grim. "Sure. It would be so much easier if I could forget, huh?"

"That's not what I meant."

"You complain about people running into you, people who once knew you, probably pretty well, and you can't remember them. But, it's not so much that you don't remember them, no…you have a problem with them confronting you _period_. Is it because you don't want to remember? Are you _trying_ to forget your past?"

"No. I really wish I could remember."

"Then why complain? Why don't you embrace those people and try to learn about yourself, try to remember?"

I had to look away. How could I tell him I was afraid of what I might find out? How terrifying it was for me knowing my parents were gone, and finding out how they died wasn't something I was ready for. He didn't wait for me to give him an answer.

"Tell me this, Bella…how would you feel if you were that person, that friend who sat next to you in biology every day, the one you shared notes with and laughed with and walked to lunch with, the one whose shoulder you cried on…how would you feel if _you_ were forgotten?"

I blanched, suddenly sick to my stomach. I hadn't considered that before. "I would feel hurt…unloved."

"Yes, and it would drive you to do the unthinkable." The pain in his eyes was substantial; I reached over and placed my hand on the side of his face. He closed his eyes with my touch.

"You've been forgotten before, haven't you," I asked.

"Yes," he murmured and shifted his head to kiss my palm. "Yes, I have."


	8. Chapter 8 - Past

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

This chapter is short, but things are going to take off from here…the turning point. Thanks so much for your interest in Shattered and Shrouded. I truly love each and every one of you.

 _ **Chapter 8 - Past**_

I couldn't imagine anyone forgetting someone as beautiful as Edward Masen. Yes, he had his moments of insanity, but who didn't?

As he leaned his face against my hand, he sighed and opened his eyes. I reached up with my other hand to cradle his face, and ran my thumbs along his cheekbones. As they drifted, they caught one tear that had escaped the green abyss I so desperately wanted to dive into, to see within his soul, to understand his pain.

"Don't cry," I whispered.

His eyes narrowed and he growled, "I'm not fucking crying."

"I'm sorry."

He sighed. "You really don't know, do you?"

"I have no idea."

The way he looked at me tugged at my heart, as if he were trying to lift the blanket that shrouded my mind, open up my eyes to something vital. I wanted so desperately to know what was going on in his head.

"Tell me."

"I wish I could," he whispered, tracing my lips with his fingertip.

"You can trust me, you know."

He moved his hands up to cradle my face, so we were both holding each other's. Leaning in, his lips brushed up against mine ever so gently as he whispered, "I want to, but I don't know that I can."

"You can. I want you to trust me," I murmured.

Moving his lips up to kiss my forehead ever so gently, he whispered, "I know." Pulling back, his hands dropped from my face, and he turned away to gaze out the driver's side window for a long moment.

"Put on your seatbelt," he muttered as he put his key in the ignition and turned the car on.

As we drove off I mustered up the courage to ask, "Why do you care about my past? You don't even know me."

"Why do you care about mine?" He glanced at me.

"I'd like to know you," I admitted, looking at my hands as I played with my fingers.

"Well, I'd like to know you too. What a coincidence."

I looked up in time to see his small grin before it faded. I sighed looking out my window. "It's just so hard to let people in. You know?"

He chuckled darkly, "Yes, I do."

We drove several blocks and turned on a side street.

"Where are we going?"

He didn't respond, staring straight ahead, anxiety rolling off of him in hot waves, filling the car and making me nervous.

He continued driving.

"Are you alright, Edward?"

He huffed loudly. "No." Glancing sideways at me, he slowed the car to a stop on the side of the road. "I want to show you something, but I don't know how you'll feel about it."

"What is it?"

Leaning back, he rested his head against the seat and closed his eyes. "It's part of my past." His head dropped to the side, eyes opening to look at me. "Are you interested?"

"Very."

"Okay then. Look out your window."

I turned, and next to the car was a sign that read:

 **ESME'S HOME**

 **A Place for Every Child**

 **to love and be loved**

"What is this?"

"This is my home."

Imagining Edward living anywhere but in a big beautiful house with two loving parents just didn't sit well with me. It was inconceivable. I looked at him and felt fear and doubt bubbling up inside of him.

"When did you live here?"

"Come, I'll explain." He got out and made his way around the car to open my door. Sometimes he could be such a gentleman, and I wondered briefly if, outside the office, he was just as civil to the other ladies.

He pulled me along the walkway up to a large white home with pillars reaching up three stories high. It reminded me of a plantation home with its windows adorning the front, the front porch stretching across the width of the home, and balconies along the second and third floor, the pillars reaching through each. Children were laughing boisterously and frolicking in the playground beside the home, adults in kakis and white shirts stood in various areas talking to and supervising the youngsters at play.

As I turned toward the house, an image came to view. My dream Edward was standing on the porch steps, tears running down his face, left fist at his side, right hand reaching out to me as he dropped his head.

I stopped walking. The vision faded, but it felt so real. The pain in my chest at the sight made me feel as if it really was me he was reaching out for.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked.

How could I explain to him I'd been having these strange dreams and visions since I'd started reading Ankit's story? Telling Edward I imagined _him_ as Ankit would make me sound crazy, and at that point I probably was. But, I found the parallels between Ankit's life and Edward's a bit too coincidental.

"I…um…I'm just a little overwhelmed. So, you grew up here?"

"Not my entire childhood. I came here when I was ten and stayed until I was adopted." He grabbed my hand as we made our way up the steps. Walking through the front door, a strange feeling came over me. Again, I felt the déjà vu.

I seemed to know exactly what the place looked like before I entered, and when I did I was surprised to feel that things had changed.

"Edward?" I started to shake.

"Yes?"

"I've been here before." I turned to look up at him.

His brow furrowed. "Are you sure?"

"Not positively, but..." I glanced around, noting things out of place. Too many things were out of place. It could just be a coincidence, maybe another time and place that was just way too similar to this one. "I think this building just reminds me of something from my past. I've probably never been here."

A kind, motherly voice called out from my left. "Isabella?"

I turned to see a beautiful brunette with a warm smile walk through a doorway. She wrapped me in her arms just as Edward shot a warning glance at her. She backed away instantly.

Edward cleared his throat. "Um…Bella, this is my mother, Esme…Esme, this is Bella."

"Oh, sorry hon." She smiled at me. "Edward has told me so much about you, I feel as if I know you already."

" _Really_?" I looked up to find Edward looking nervously at his mother. "I've only known him a few days. I'm hardly anything to talk about."

Esme's forehead crinkled and she gave a nervous laugh before wrapping her arm around mine and leading me through the doorway. "Come, I have something to show you."

She took me through a large room where children were reading, up a staircase, and out one of the balconies. At one end were a table and two chairs. I followed her to the table and sat down.

"Here." She pushed a book toward me.

"What's this?"

"Isabella, in my business we come across children of all ages who've lost their parents in some form or fashion. Either they died, gave them up, or cannot support them. I make it a point to find out everything I can about each and every child. I have resources, my dear."

"So…this book…"

"Is your past."

"No!" I jumped out of the seat, knocking it to the floor. "I don't want it! I don't want any of it!"

I ran past Edward, down the stairs and out the front door. Edward's Porsche sat along the road, but I didn't want to leave with him. I couldn't understand why he would do this to me, why he would make me feel cornered into remembering my past. My feet pushed me forward, and I flew around the house, down a dirt path and into the trees. I kept running, and I wasn't sure where I was going, but I let my legs lead me until I could run no longer. I leaned against a tree, gasping for air, and slid to the ground, the rough bark grating against my back in the process. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I leaned my head against them and sobbed.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, but the sound of twigs and leaves crunching warned me of someone's arrival. I quieted my sobs, feeling a pull on my heart. I didn't have to look up to see that it would be Edward that had followed me, because I could feel him. I'd never felt a need for him, because I didn't really know him, but deep within my heart I wanted his comfort.

He slid down beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I brought you here to show you _my_ past. I had no idea Esme was going to spring that on you. Had I known, I would never have brought you here."

I lifted my head and grinned. His face blurred behind my tears. Somehow, with all that happened, it felt good to have him next to me.

He reached over and wiped my face with his fingers. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I…I've been running from my past for so long. When I lost my memory, doctors and people who said they were friends tried to get me to go home, to look through my things and find my past, but I couldn't." I turned to look through the trees. "I had a friend of mine pack up my things and place them in storage. I haven't looked back since. I figured I could start all over. No memories, no pain…you know?"

When I looked up at him, he appeared wounded. "How do you know you weren't leaving something good behind?"

"Edward," I took a deep breath, finally deciding to let him in just a bit, "I was beaten…left for dead. Whatever led up to that couldn't have been good. My parents are dead, I have no family left. You tell me, what is there I could possibly want to know?"

He looked down at my hand as he grabbed it, playing with my fingers. "You may not have family, but how do you know there wasn't someone out there who loved you, who missed you?"

"That's crazy. I would've remembered that."

Slowly, he turned his head to look into my eyes. "Are you sure?"

I wasn't. I couldn't look at him anymore. Pulling my hand from his, I wrapped my arms around my torso and buckled over. "I don't know," I breathed, "I don't know shit anymore."

He leaned back against the tree and sighed heavily. "Me neither. But I'll tell you this, with all the bullshit I've gone through in my sorry ass life, there are things I would _never_ want to forget. Those are the things that override all the fucked up shit I've had to live through. Memories…it's all I have left."

I didn't have a response for that. I could see the logic in it. Maybe there was a thing or two I'd forgotten that was worth remembering, good things, but I was too scared to go through all the other shit to find out.

Scanning the trees, I felt the déjà vu once again. Something was bothering me about this place. When I looked at Edward, he was relaxed against the tree with his eyes closed. I watched as his chest rose and fell with each breath he took, and I wanted so badly to touch him. Drawn like a magnetic force, I pulled myself to my knees before him, losing all control of my actions as my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him to me. His eyes shot open as my face molded against his in a deep, desperate kiss. His lips complied, opening to welcome my tongue. Running my fingers through his hair, I fisted his tresses and he groaned into my mouth.

I knew I was doing this because I wanted to feel something, anything, but I also knew I wanted Edward. There was a need deep inside of me that had to be filled, and I wanted only him to fill it, somehow knowing he was the only one that would be able to.

Edward twisted, gently lowering me to the ground, hovering over me. Our kiss grew in intensity, pulling me into him in a way I'd never thought possible. We continued, lips molding, tongues dancing, until I had to pull away to gasp for air. When I did, his lips continued their course along my jaw, down my neck.

My hands trailed down his back, pulling at the hem of his shirt until he complied with my request, his lips leaving my neck to pull his shirt over his head. He stared down at me for a long moment as I took in his sculptured chest and abs. I had to touch him, and as my hands met his skin he groaned. I ran my fingers along his stomach, making a path up his chest, curling into his chest hair.

When I licked my bottom lip, he attacked my mouth in a frantic kiss. His hands moved about my body, feeling every curve until they reached my chest. He cupped my breast with his right hand, feeling my hardened nipple through the material. I moaned against his lips and he thrust his hips into me, showing me what I was doing to him. Internally, I grinned, my inner Bella doing a happy dance.

Ever so slowly, his fingers unbuttoned my shirt, sliding it open to give him access to my goodies. His mouth never leaving mine, he traced my stomach with his fingers, slowly easing them up and over my breast, sliding them under the material, skillfully tugging at my nipple, making me groan into his mouth.

I arched my back with the sensation and he reached his other hand around me to unclip my bra, sliding it down effortlessly. He pulled back and took in my bare chest, gasping and panting.

"You're fucking beautiful," he murmured.

Before I could form a response, his lips found my mounts, kissing their way to the summit, tugging and pulling at the tips as I moaned, my body quivering under his. Through it all, I could feel his hands trembling against me, and I wondered why.

I pushed him up to ask him, but when I did he changed, the young Edward from my dream was staring down at me, his youthful eyes full of love and confidence.

My lips opened, and the words came of their own accord. "Eddie Bear?"

He gasped, "Marie!"


	9. Chapter 9 - Shroud Lifted

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Thanks for continuing to read my story. This chapter is a little short but to the point. I hope you enjoy it as much as the rest.

 _ **Chapter 9 – Shroud Lifted**_

I froze, my body chilled to the bone. Edward's hands were still on me, moving slowly up my neck to cradle my face. His eyes were wide, pleading, but I couldn't look at them. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to disappear.

"Get off of me," I said through clenched teeth.

I felt the weight of his body disappear and I sat up, turning away from him.

"So, her name was Marie?"

"What?"

I looked at Edward, his brow creased, his lips twisted in confusion.

"The one you lost. Her name was Marie?"

He reached out to grab my hand, but I pulled it away.

"You don't understand," he murmured.

"The hell I don't," I spat. "I was about to give myself to you, and you called me Marie. What the fuck, Edward?" I was seething. He apparently wasn't over this other woman, and I was hurt that he'd called out her name in the midst of our passion.

"Your middle name is Marie," he choked on his words. "You never liked anyone to call you Bella because that's what your father called you, and it was too painful for you to hear it. I'm sorry, but I was calling out _your_ name…what I used to call you."

I couldn't believe my ears. My heart picked up pace, my hands clenched at my sides, I wanted so desperately to hit something, or someone. "You _knew_ me?"

Edward's head dropped. "Yes," he breathed.

I lifted my fist into the air then slammed it into the ground. "You _fucking_ knew me and didn't say anything?"

Edward reached out for me. "Bella…"

I pushed him away. "Don't fucking touch me!" Realizing my chest was still exposed, I fixed my clothes and stood. Since the day I walked into his office he knew me. I walked around with the false impression that he knew nothing about me, and I'd been trying to keep myself from him, hiding what little I knew, when in reality he probably knew more about me than I did myself. I felt like such an idiot. The only one in the dark, blinded by a shroud I couldn't escape. I couldn't even look at him.

Turning away from him, I stomped off in the direction I'd come.

I heard Edward scramble to his feet, following me as I trudged through the trees. "Bella, please…"

I ignored him and kept walking.

"Bella, please stop."

There was nothing he could say that would make me feel any better about being deceived. When he agonized over being forgotten, while questioning me about my past, the thought of anyone forgetting him had been inconceivable to me. I now knew that person was me. I loathed myself, and was infuriated with him for his dishonesty.

Edward caught up to me, grabbed my arm, and spun me around. "Would you fucking stop and let me explain?"

I couldn't look at him, so I stared at his chest, which happened to be exposed as he had not put on his shirt. "No, I will not listen to you tell me how or why you lied to me, keeping me hidden in my own shadows."

I ripped my arm from his grip and walked away again.

Edward was relentless. "I wasn't keeping you hidden. I wanted you to remember on your own."

I kept walking. "Oh, yeah, like I was making so much progress. You should have told me."

"If you remember correctly, you didn't want to know."

I whirled around, and Edward was so close he almost bumped into me. I was so angry I didn't consider the next words that came from my lips. "Maybe I didn't want to remember _you_."

Edward blanched, and in his eyes I could see that I'd crushed him. The longer I stayed in his presence, the worse it was becoming. I had to get away before I did something really stupid. I hated myself more every second.

Turning on my heel, I continued toward Esme's House. I didn't hear the sound of Edward following until I was approaching the end of the trees. My words must have caused him to hesitate.

When I reached the house, I entered through a back door. Somehow I knew my way around the kitchen, walking through another hall, making my way to the front entrance. Esme was standing next to the staircase talking to one of her employees. She turned as I walked in.

"Isabella? Is everything alright, dear?"

Edward entered, still half dressed. "Bella, please."

"Oh, dear," Esme gasped.

"It's not what you think," he said, and then reached for me. "Please, let me explain."

"Explain what?" I spat. "How you played me for a fool? How you knew every fucking thing about me and kept it from me? For what? To benefit me? Do you know how that makes me feel? I fucking hate myself!"

He tried to wrap his arms around me. "Bella, please."

"Stop saying that!" I pushed away from him. Turning to Esme, I asked, "Can I use your phone? I left my purse and cell phone at work. I'd like to call a cab."

Edward intervened, "That isn't necessary. I can drive you back."

I kept my back to him as I responded. "I don't want to ride with you. Right now I don't even want to look at you."

"Look, I'm sorry. If I could take it all back…"

"But you can't." I walked to the next room and slumped down on the sofa, burying my face in my hands. I heard Esme stop Edward from following.

"Give her some time, son," she said, and then her heels tapped along the wooden floor as she made her way over to me. "Isabella?"

I looked up and into her concerned eyes. "I know you are hurting, and I understand. I would rather you not take a cab though, so I will have one of my employees give you a ride. Would that be alright with you?"

I nodded.

She knelt down next to me. "He's been hurting for years. Please consider his pain as a source for his lack of good judgment."

I looked into her eyes. "Did he consider _my_ pain?"

Looking down she sighed, "No, I guess he didn't."

Just then the young man she had been speaking to by the staircase walked in. He was blond and had a baby face.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"More than ever," I said, standing and making my way around Esme.

She stood and reached out to grab my hand. "Isabella?"

I stopped and turned.

"I truly am sorry. If you ever decide to learn about your past, please come and see me."

I smiled, knowing that I would probably come to see her sooner or later…probably sooner. "I will."

She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. "Hang in there," she whispered, "and don't be too hard on him."

I pulled away and nodded, not knowing if I would be able to keep that promise.

Not looking Edward's way, I followed the young man out the door. In the car it was quiet for quite some time. I stared out my window at the passing buildings.

"So, I'm taking you to Edward's office?"

"Yes."

"By the way, you don't happen to remember me, do you?"

I turned to look at him. "Should I?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, you should. I only tortured you for years."

" _What_?"

"It's me," he looked at me like I was crazy for not remembering, "Mike Newton."

"Um…" I hated this. It happened to me all too often and made me feel like such a moron. "I'm sorry. I was in an accident and…well, I've lost many years of my memory. I can't remember anything before my seventeenth birthday."

"You're shitting me!"

I looked down at my hands, "No, I'm not."

"I'm sorry."

He continued driving, the silence suddenly driving me mad. I was quite curious about Mike.

"So," I started but didn't finish.

"So?" he prompted, glancing my way.

"How did you torture me?"

He laughed out loud. "Man, you had to ask." He glanced at me again, a huge grin on his face. "I had the biggest crush on you, but you were so wrapped up in Edward, your _Eddie Bear_ , that I had no chance in hell of winning you over. I used to flirt with you in front of him just to piss him off, and I'd send you gifts and shit to get under his skin. I hated him for winning you over so quickly, especially cause he was so fucked up, and I wasn't. I couldn't understand what you saw in him, but I had so much fun torturing him. I truly wanted to win you over though." He sighed, "And for all that, I really feel bad for him now."

"Why is that?"

We'd stopped at a red light and he turned to me, his expression serious. "Because the day you left him, he died inside. Everyone could see it. He hasn't been the same since. Three days ago he came barging in to see Esme, and it was the first time we'd seen any form of life in him since that day so many years ago. Though I'd still love to win you over," he grinned and snickered, "cause you are still quite a catch, I can't stand to see him so shattered."

The light turned green and we continued on in silence.

Mike's words made me feel worse. Not only had I hurt him once, but twice. My heart twisted in my chest as the image of Edward's pained eyes came to mind. I wrapped my arms around my chest, trying to keep from falling apart myself.

When we reached the office I thanked Mike for the ride and stepped out, not looking back as he pulled away. During the drive I'd decided I had two options. Option one: I continue working for Edward and accept him as a part of my past. Try to learn more about what we had together and see if a relationship with him would be possible. Though I wasn't sure I was ready for a relationship or to face my past. Option two: I quit working for Edward and move on with my life. Start over on my own and build new memories without having to face my past.

I decided to take option two. I really wasn't ready to face my past. Trying to deal with what I had with Edward was already hurting me. I couldn't imagine dealing with all the other shit I couldn't remember, and I knew the other things were much worse than leaving him.

When I got to work, I was determined to gather my things and just call it quits. Conversations ceased as I flew through the office. I was very nearly in tears and I didn't want a confrontation. As I stood staring at my desk, I realized there was nothing there that was really mine aside from my purse and a pen. The feeling that I would be forgotten all too soon crept into me making me hurt even more inside. No mark would be left behind…nobody would remember that I ever worked here.

I walked out of Edward's office with my head down, hoping to avoid eye contact with anyone, but after only a few steps I had the intense urge to look up. I found Edward standing in the center of the aisle between the cubicles, blocking me from the exit. He was fully dressed, panting as if he'd run all the way from Esme's, though I knew he hadn't.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm leaving. I quit."

His hands balled up into fists at his sides. "Don't quit, please," he begged between clenched teeth.

I glanced around the room, all eyes were on us. "Who else in here knows me?"

Alice timidly raised her hand.

Jake stood up. "I know you and I was going to tell you, but you turned down our dinner plans."

I nodded my head. "Anyone else?"

Edward shook his head.

"And the waitress…what was her name?"

"Rose."

I nodded, "Yes, Rose. She knew me too, and Esme, your mother."

Edward dropped his head. "Yes."

I laughed bitterly. "So I'm the freak, walking around clueless, nobody caring enough to shine some light on me. Just keep me in the fucking dark why don't you!"

Jake shrugged. "Hey, I tried."

Edward and I turned toward him and spoke simultaneously, "Shut up, Jake."

We looked back at each other and he tried once again. "Look, I wanted you to remember me on your own. I didn't want to have to tell you what we had."

"What did we have, Edward? It must not have been too great if you have no qualms with defying me."

Edward stepped toward me, reaching out. "Bella, please."

I stepped back. "No."

"Why won't you fucking let me explain?"

"I think you've said enough." I pushed past him and stormed out, stopping just outside the door to find my keys. As I opened my purse I saw an envelope that wasn't there before.

The front of the envelope had words written in beautiful script.

 **Bella, I hope this helps. Alice**

I opened the envelope and pulled out a photo. The sight seized my breath, my lungs contracting, my stomach twisting, my hand shaking so much I could hardly focus on the couple in the picture. Young Edward, wearing the same blue shirt of my dream, was holding a young version of me in a tight embrace. Our faces were so happy, full of love and life. The way we held each other told a story in itself. I turned back to the door, my legs giving way to my pain, bringing me to my knees. How could I have forgotten someone I obviously felt so strongly about? How could my heart have not felt what I saw in the picture the instant I laid my eyes on him? I didn't deserve him. He should not feel anything for someone who could so easily dismiss him.

The door opened and I looked up. Alice had opened the door but it was not her my eyes fell upon, because past her was Edward, on his knees, head in his hands. He looked up, tears running down his face.

Without thinking, I rose and crossed the distance between us, dropping to my knees. I held out the picture for him to see.

"Is this what we had?" I asked.

Edward nodded.

"Is this what you wanted to show me?"

He reached up and placed his hand on the side of my face, catching the tears that trailed down my cheek.

Without a word, and in front of every employee, Edward leaned forward and mended my heart with a kiss.


	10. Chapter 10 - Collide

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

WARNING: If you are under age, please do not read this chapter. It contains some lemony tidbits.

 _ **Chapter 10 - Collide**_

The world disappeared around us and we were alone, wrapped in each other as our lips molded together, fitting as if they were created to fit no other. In that moment several things clicked into place, making my future seem clear for the short time our lips touched. Edward and Iwere meant to be. Though I'd forgotten him, one look at the photo seemed to seal that fact into my heart. I knew I'd found one piece of my past that was worth trying to remember, and that made the prospects of finding more good memories seem attainable. Maybe there wasn't anything for me to really fear. I decided I would revert to option one, and see where that road would take me.

Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, securing my body against his. I heard several gasps and murmurs break through our bubble of passion, and I leaned away. Edward's reluctance pushed him forward, refusing to break our bond until I turned my face to take in a breath.

He leaned back to look at me. "I'm sorry, was that out of line?"

I glanced around the room, taking in the shock of those around us, and settled my eyes on his. "No, but I'd like to go somewhere else if you don't mind."

He nodded and stood, pulling me to my feet. After wiping his tear-streaked face and taking a quick glance around, he ordered, "Okay, the show is over. Get back to work." Only it wasn't the stern, authoritative Edward that was speaking. His voice was soft, kind. He turned and motioned for Alice to follow as he pulled me along to his office.

He kept his arm around me as I looked down at the picture still in my hand. I wanted so badly to be that girl, but I didn't know who she was. With a heavy heart I shoved it back into the envelope and stuffed it in my purse.

"Close the door," Edward said as Alice walked in.

She closed the door and turned, with a horrified expression on her face she stammered, "Edward, I…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give it to her but…"

He closed the distance between them, grabbing her in his arms and holding her tight. "Thank you, Alice." His words were almost broken. "You saved me."

"What?" she breathed.

He stepped back, his hands on her shoulders, and grinned. "I know I told you to keep out of it, but I'll have to admit, you were right. I should have told her from day one."

Her face lit up. "Oh, my! Can I write this down on the calendar? Say it again."

He sighed. "You were right."

"As always," she giggled, and then turned to me. "I'm so sorry I had to keep this from you, Bella, but it wasn't my place to say anything."

I nodded, "It's okay, I understand."

"Thank you," she beamed before winking at Edward, turning on her heel, and walking out.

When the door closed behind her, Edward turned, hesitating as he slowly made his way to stand before me. He reached up, his hand taking a lifetime to find the skin of my neck, and ran his fingers up and along the side of my face.

"Do you remember _anything_?" he asked.

I dropped my head. "No," I sighed. "But I want to…so desperately."

He pulled me close, lifting my chin to gaze into my eyes. "I can help you know."

"I know." Looking into the deep depths of green that stared back at me, I had an epiphany. "Wait…" A slow smile spread across my face. "I think I do remember some things. I mean, I didn't want to tell you because I thought you would think I was crazy, but I've been having dreams and visions."

"Really?" His smile matched mine. "Like what?"

"Well, after I started reading…" A light turned on upstairs, another piece of the puzzle clicking into place. "Wait a minute…are you…" I turned to his desk, seeing the manuscript placed neatly where he'd left it the night before. I looked back at him. "You're Ankit aren't you?"

His sexy ass half grin appeared, making my heart squeeze tightly within my chest. "What do _you_ think?"

"I think you are."

He ran his hand through my hair, his eyes burning into mine. "I think you're right."

"So, that explains it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Explains what?"

"Well, I've been having visions of you…a much younger version of you, and I thought it was my imagination. You know, that I was picturing you as Ankit's character, but now I realize…I was remembering."

His eyes widened, and he sucked in a quick breath. "You…you remember?"

"Only bits and pieces, nothing concrete."

"But something is better than nothing. What do you remember?"

"Well…" I pulled away from him and made my way to the sofa, sitting down and crossing my legs.

He followed, sitting next to me.

I turned to face him. "First there was the dream."

"What dream?"

"Well, I had a dream of you and I in the trees, we were…" I stopped.

His mouth popped open, his eyes wide, and he took in a deep breath.

That's when it dawned on me. I couldn't speak. I felt everything I'd believed about myself curl itself up into a crumpled heap and dive into the trash. I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I shook my head.

He reached over and put his hand on my shoulder. "Please tell me."

When I looked up at him, I could barely see through the tears in my eyes.

"No, no, no…" he pulled me against him and rubbed my back. "Don't cry. Tell me what's wrong."

I pushed out of his grip and turned away.

"Don't shut me out. Let me help you."

"You don't understand," I managed through sobs. "Everything I believed about myself is a lie."

"What do you mean?"

I turned to him, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I'm going to ask you a question, and I need you to be honest with me."

"Ask me anything."

I wasn't quite sure how to form my question. If Ankit really was Edward, and I was the girl in his story, then that meant… "Am I a virgin?"

" _What_?"

"Look. I can't remember anything about my life before I turned seventeen. I haven't given myself to anyone since, and I believe I am a virgin. I want to know right now, and I want you to be honest. My dream, the one where I gave myself to you in the trees, the one I believe is a manifestation of Ankit's story…is it real? Is it a memory?"

I watched as his eyes lit up and he smiled. "So you _are_ remembering…yes, it happened the day you left me, just like in _Those Who Wait_. The part of the story where you entered my life is written truthfully and in detail through the eyes of Ankit."

"So, I have to remember losing my virginity by…reading it?" A deep seeded heat flared up within my chest, travelled up my neck, and rested on my face. I felt my heart pick up pace and I wanted to scream. "I had to fucking read it!"

His mouth dropped and his eyes widened. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

I didn't want to hear any excuses. I jumped up and crossed the office to glare out the window at the people below in the streets. How easy it was for them to walk around every day remembering their childhood, their first crush, first kiss, first… _fuck_! I couldn't remember anything.

I felt Edward's presence before his hands snaked around my waist. He leaned his chin on my shoulder, his cheek resting against mine, and whispered, "It was the very best and worst day of my life. I gave myself to you wholly, and you were taken away, all on the same day. Though being with you was by far the best thing that ever happened to me, that day still haunts me. I'm not sure it is a memory you would really want."

I turned to face him. "You don't think I would want to remember giving myself to you? I can't remember losing my virginity. That is something a woman should never forget. It means so much, Edward. I can't remember my first crush, my first kiss, my fucking first love. Did I love you? Did I ever say it to you? Cause I don't _fucking remember_!"

He grimaced with my words, and tried to pull me close again.

"No, don't touch me," I stepped to the side, trying to keep a bit of distance between us. "Look. I'm trying really hard here. I want to make this work. Just, give me some time to work through this. It's…it's just hard to accept everything at once. I need time."

"Bella, you can have all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

"How can you be so sure? I'm not even sure how I feel about you. I look at the girl in that picture and I don't even know her. I don't know what she was like, or what you saw in her. She's a different person, I'm a different person."

"I'm different too. Can't you see? I don't care about the past. I want you, all of you, just the way you are right now. I want to fill your every missing piece."

I couldn't see that. Not right away. I looked into his eyes and I wanted to believe his words were sincere, but I didn't think I had much to offer him. He deserved someone so much better than me. He shouldn't waste his time trying to fill the holes in my life.

"You deserve so much more," I mumbled.

"No, _you_ deserve more." He looked away from me, out the window.

That was inconceivable. Though I knew he had his own demons to deal with, I also knew he was so much better than me. He had his memories, and he dealt with them. I was too chicken shit to deal with mine. My admiration for him grew as I stared at his profile, the sun shining through the window, glimmering off his skin.

He turned to look at me and I had to avert my eyes. I took a deep breath. "I need to think." Taking the few steps to his desk, I grabbed my purse and the manuscript. "Can I take the day off," I peeked at him, "and read this at home?"

"Of course," he breathed.

"I'll call you," I said as I made my way out.

Walking through the office was nerve-wracking. Every eye was on me, and as I passed Irina, I could feel her eyes burning holes through my body. I wanted to stop, to tell her this was all so sudden for me, that I didn't even know I'd had a past with Edward before today, but I also wanted to throw her the bird and tell her to fuck off. I decided to keep my mouth shut, and I kept walking.

When I got home, I went straight to my room and placed the manuscript on my bedside table. I stared at it for what seemed like forever and decided I wasn't ready to read. Now that I knew the story was about Edward and me, I was afraid, suddenly not quite sure if I really wanted to know what happened after I left.

My purse was still on my shoulder, and it felt heavy, like someone was hanging onto it, pulling me down. I knew why. The picture was begging to be released from its confines. I sat on the bed and crossed my legs, placing my purse in my lap. For the longest time I sat, staring at it. It grew, a giant weight on my legs, pressuring me to face one more look at my past.

My hands shook, making it difficult as I fumbled with the zipper, struggling to pull the metal across when it had always slid so smoothly. Each pop as it let loose its grip seemed to pound in my head like a jackhammer. My purse relaxed against my leg as I released the metal from between my fingers, and the envelope peered up at me like a tiny pup begging to be held.

I took a deep breath and decided to just do it. Reaching in, I grabbed the envelope and pulled it out. I opened it quickly, without thinking too much about what I was doing and, pushing my purse aside, placed the photo on my lap.

I stared down at the couple before me and my heart wrenched painfully in my chest. They were two strangers, people I didn't know at all, but people I wanted so desperately to understand. The young girl's arms were wrapped around the boy, one hand on his lower back and the other a bit higher, holding him as if she would float away if she'd let go. Her head was leaning against his chest, her amorous smile lighting up the photo as dawn breaking through the sky. The boy's arms were wrapped around her shoulders, his head leaning against her hair, his lips pulled back into a grin that would melt a million pounds of chocolate on a winter day. I nearly melted myself, staring into the green pools that looked back at me, as if to say, "This is where you belong, right here in my arms." I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I wanted so badly to be that girl, in that moment, wrapped in the arms of that perfect boy.

Turning to my side table, I opened the drawer and pulled out a small, gold jewelry box I'd placed in there the night before. I hesitated before lifting the lid to peer inside. I looked at the picture, at Edward's hair as it blew in the gentle breeze, and back into the box. I reached in with two fingers to pluck out the wad of Edward's hair I'd saved. Oddly, I'd felt the need to keep it, to store it close to my bed at night, not realizing at the time that subconsciously I probably already knew he was one of the missing pieces of my puzzle.

I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep until the shrill buzz of my doorbell went off and I nearly fell to the floor. The photo and box were lying on the pillow next to me. I picked them up and placed them neatly on top of the manuscript on the bedside table. Before heading into the living room I glanced at my clock and realized it was seven in the evening. I'd slept the day away.

My impatient visitor pressed the button again, and then two more times, the annoying buzzing sounds irritating me.

"Just a minute!" I yelled, as I fumbled through the locks.

When I opened the door my breath caught in my throat, and the world spun. Edward was standing in the hall, running his fingers nervously through his hair.

"Um…I hope you don't mind, but I had to see you."

The burning hope in his eyes ignited me inside, melting away my doubt just as his eyes had in the photo.

I stepped aside and motioned with my hand for him to enter.

He walked past me, hesitating as I closed and locked the door, then made his way to the middle of my small, untidy living room, and looked around.

"Nice place," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning to look at me.

"It's a piece of shit. I'm only staying here because the rent is cheap."

He chuckled. "Yeah, you're right. I don't like it. I passed two homeless guys and three hookers on my way here." He grinned. "I could find you a better place."

I sighed heavily. "I can't afford a better place.

"Don't worry about rent. I'll take care of it."

"No, I can take care of myself. Besides, I wouldn't be able to pay you back."

"Bella, I would never ask for money from you. You wouldn't owe me a thing."

"I don't want your pity." With that I turned and walked into the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?" I called over my shoulder.

He followed, and when I turned to look at him he was obviously offended. His eyes narrowed, "Why would you assume I pity you?"

"Well, because of all the shit I went through. Though, lucky me, I don't remember any of it."

"Bella, I want to help you because I care about you. I don't want anything in return."

I laughed. "Sure, and when you finally meet the girl of your dreams, how are you going to explain the rent you are paying for me?"

His eyes saddened, and he crossed the distance between us. "The girl of my dreams is standing right here." His hands cupped my face. "Please believe that."

"You deserve so much more," I replied, closing my eyes, hiding them from his intense gaze.

I felt the side of his face against mine, his breath in my ear. "No," he whispered, " _I_ am the one that doesn't deserve _you_."

His hands ran into my hair, and his lips kissed me just below my ear. A shudder coursed through me as his mouth traveled along my jaw, dotting my face with gentle kisses, until they met my lips. His tongue swept across my bottom lip, his teeth pulling it in to nibble as I opened my mouth to welcome him in. Standing in my kitchen, he lifted me and placed me on the counter, our lips never once breaking contact.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, pulling him close. When I felt his length hard against me, a tingle ran through my body, igniting my senses, setting me on fire. In that moment I realized I didn't need to remember my first time with him, because I could make new memories. This could be the night I would remember as the milestone of losing my virginity. I would willingly give myself to him and mark it down in my memory banks. The decision was made.

I broke our kiss and breathed, "I want you…now."

"Not here," he panted.

"My room." I nodded with my head toward the hallway.

We continued kissing as he lifted me, my legs firmly wrapped around him, and carried me across the apartment to my room. He stumbled over to my bed, gently lowering me onto the mattress. He pulled away to look at me, his eyes desperately trying to convey things I couldn't comprehend.

"I've missed you so much," he nearly choked through his words.

Without responding, I moved my trembling hands to unbutton his shirt, pulling it back and over his shoulders. He unbuttoned mine, pulling it open and closing his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, placing my hand on the side of his face.

He opened his eyes and huffed loudly. "I just don't want you to do anything you are going to regret."

"I could never regret you."

His lips pulled back into a small half grin, and I couldn't take it any longer. I flipped him on his back and crawled over him, pulling my skirt around my waist to straddle him like a beautiful bronco.

He gasped as I pulled off my already unbuttoned shirt and popped open my bra, tossing both to the floor. His pulsing weapon was loaded and ready, my hot spot resting against it. I shifted my hips, rubbing myself against him, feeling him twitch. He moaned and his eyes rolled back.

"Fuck, Bella."

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do."

A wicked grin spread across his face and suddenly I was on my back, Edward's hands and lips on my breasts, caressing, kissing, sucking, and I thought I would lose my mind. His hands skillfully removed my skirt and thong, sliding them off without taking his lips from my nipple.

I closed my eyes and arched my back as his tongue circled my summit, sucking it in and tugging lightly. I turned my head to the side and pulled the edge of the pillow over my mouth as I moaned.

Suddenly, the weight of him was gone. I opened my eyes and saw that he'd already removed his clothing. He was kneeling between my legs, taking me in with his eyes.

"Please don't do that," he whispered.

"Do what?"

"Don't cover your face. I want to see you, hear you, _feel_ you."

My eyes wandered down his finely sculptured chest, abs, along the V that pointed to his…oh, my! My heart picked up its pace at the thought of his length fitting into tiny little me. But I knew it had been there before, and I wanted it so badly.

He leaned over, his mouth tracing the inside of my thigh sending shivers up and down my body. Warm and wet, I felt his tongue slide along my pleasure spot, and I moaned, a shudder crawling through me as he worked his magic between my legs. Licking, sucking, caressing, I felt myself coming closer to the edge.

"Fuck! Edward!"

At the sound of his name he groaned, licking his way up my stomach, across my chest, and to my mouth, kissing me with deep desperation.

His cock teased me, rubbing against my spot, torturing me as he shifted his hips again and again.

"Please," I moaned.

"Please what?" he whispered against my lips.

"Fuck me," I groaned.

"Oh, no," he murmured, his lips still touching mine. "I clearly remember saying you were the last woman in the world I would fuck."

"Well then what the fuck…."

"Shhh..." He placed his finger over my lips to silence me. "I said I wouldn't fuck you. Bella, I want to make love to you."

In that moment my body went numb. My arms, which had been wrapped around him, dropped to my sides, and my breath caught. Was I ready for this?

He leaned his forehead against mine and seemed to read my mind. "Isabella Marie Swan, I will not do this if you are not ready. Will you give yourself to me?" He shifted his hips again, giving me the friction my body craved, and I quivered beneath him.

"Yes," I breathed as my trembling hands slid into his hair. I secured his face to mine, attacking him with a fierce kiss, devouring him with my lips.

Without breaking our kiss, he shifted himself, positioning his body for the moment I would lose my virginity…again. He pulled up just a bit, and looked into my eyes.

"Keep your eyes on me, baby."

I nodded, placing my hands on his shoulders.

I felt the tip of his manhood at my entrance, and he pushed forward, easing his way in. Tingles traveled through me, the fire in my center radiating throughout, and I moaned.

His eyes squeezed shut. "Fuuuuuuck," he groaned, pushing until he filled me completely. "Oh, baby you're so tight."

"Is that bad?" I panted.

"Shit, no…but I'm going to cum fast." He held still for a long moment. "I want this to last." He gazed into my eyes and leaned forward to kiss me ever so gently.

I reveled in his lips, his tongue, as they danced with mine in perfect choreography. He shifted his hips, pumping slowly, his body filling and refilling mine over and over again. I ran my hands down his back and grabbed his ass, smiling against his lips when he groaned into my mouth.

The sound of his pleasure brought tingles to my center, and I called out, "Edward!"

He pulled up once again and examined my face as he continued making love to me, watching as I moaned with pleasure as our bodies celebrated in their unity.

In the midst of it all, a vision flashed before my eyes, my young Edward's face appeared, posed above me in the same manner.

" _Eddie Bear_ ," I'd whispered.

" _Marie_ ," he'd replied, then stated with a quivering bottom lip, " _I love you_."

I gasped and the vision faded.

Edward was still above me, but he stopped moving, his eyes wide with concern.

"What?" I panted.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Why?"

"You…well, you sort of passed out on me for a few seconds." He shifted up a bit more. "We can stop if…"

"No!" I said a little too loudly, embarrassing myself. "I mean, no. I'd like to keep going."

He hesitated, moving out of me a bit.

"I said," I grabbed his ass and shoved him into me hard and fast. I moaned, "Keep going."

He pulled out a bit, then slammed into me.

I groaned in pleasure, and he did it once more.

"Do you like that, baby?"

"Oh, yes!" I cried.

He began pumping hard and fast, making me lose control once again. I screamed his name several times, fisting his hair and pulling hard.

He winced against my pull but grunted with each pump of his hips. The friction between his body and mine created a burning firestorm that consumed me instantly, and I felt myself slipping toward the edge of the precipice, about to fall off.

His eyes darkened and he groaned, "Oh, Bella, cum for me, baby."

I let go, holding my breath as I felt myself explode, my body contracting around him as he filled me with his fluids. We both yelled out each other's name, and moaned as our pleasure reached its limit.

As if he'd been stung by a bee, Edward flipped off of me, landing on his feet beside the bed.

"Shit! Fuck!"

"What?" I asked, eyes wide, scared of his reaction. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" he said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"What's wrong?" I asked, wondering if he realized sleeping with me was a mistake after all.

Noticing my panic, he crawled back on the bed and pulled me into his arms. "No, no, no. Everything's fine. I just fucking forgot to ask."

"Ask what?"

He looked into my eyes. "Are you on birth control?"

I laughed out loud. "Shit! Is that what this is about?"

His eyebrows pulled together. "This isn't funny," he snapped.

"Edward," I giggled, "I'm a grown woman. Do you really think I would be irresponsible enough to have sex _without_ birth control?"

He looked away. "I thought you said you hadn't slept with anyone."

"I haven't, but I have been on birth control since I can remember. It's just a precaution, plus it regulates my periods."

"Oh." He looked back at me, worry and doubt still written on his face.

Though I'd slept most of the day, I was exhausted. "Come on grumpy, let's get some sleep." I pulled him down next to me and wrapped myself around him, reaching over to drag the blanket over us.

I leaned my head against his chest, and he kissed my hair.

"Good night, Bella," he murmured against the top of my head.

"Good night," I mumbled, sleep gripping me the instant my eyes closed.

I wasn't sure if I was dreaming. I'd had a dreamless sleep up until I heard a guitar playing. _Did I leave the radio on?_ My eyes slid open. Glazed over with sleep, I could vaguely see my empty guitar stand in the corner of the room. _Who's playing my guitar?_

Memories of the night before flooded my mind. _Shit! Edward!_ I rolled over and found him standing next to the bed, naked, with my guitar in his hands. He gazed down at me, playing a familiar tune by Howie Day, and started to sing.

" _The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you…yeah_"

I sat up, moving to the edge of the bed, practically between his legs, and gazed up at him as he continued.

" _I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again_

 _Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find you and I collide_." 

I thought about his words as he continued playing, gazing into my eyes as if he was trying to convey something vital. I stood, standing so close his fingers nearly brushed against my skin as he played.

He took a deep breath and continued.

" _I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression  
I've found I'm scared to know  
I'm always on your mind_

 _Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time  
I somehow find you and I collide_.

 _Don't stop here  
I lost my place  
I'm close behind_." 

As he played, I kept my eyes on his, his gaze never faltering, his concentration never slipping, as he continued to seal my heart within his through his words. They rang so true. With all the shit we'd both been through, and were still going through, we ended up colliding, and I didn't want that bond to ever break.

" _Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find you and I collide_

 _You finally find you and I collide  
You finally find you and I collide_." 

At that moment I realized I wanted it to work, and I would do whatever it takes to make him happy. With the last strum of the guitar, he pulled it off and reached around me to place it gently on the bed.

He looked at me and grinned. "Good morning."

Before he could take his next breath, my mouth found his. 


	11. Chapter 11 - Three Little Words

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Oh, you are just going to love this chapter. I had so much fun writing it.

Enjoy!

 _ **Chapter 11 – Three Little Words**_

Fear would always be a part of me. I knew that, but I was willing to push it aside and try to deal with my past. Something deep inside warned me against it, but, as Edward's lips gently caressed mine, I knew it was inevitable if I wanted to have a relationship with him. And, I desperately wanted to.

Edward pressed himself against me, and as our heated bodies met, I groaned into his mouth. He chuckled and the kiss was over.

"Mmmm, if I could wake you up like this every morning…" He ran his hands up my back and into my tangled mess of hair.

I buried my face in my hands, just imagining what I looked like, and his mouth tasted so minty fresh, he must have brushed his teeth before serenading me. Mine probably tasted like a trash bin smelled.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into my hands.

"What?" He pulled my hands away from my face. "Didn't you hear a word I said last night? I don't want you to ever hide your face from me."

I grinned, and wrapped myself around him, leaning my head against his chest. "Sorry, I have bad breath."

"You do," he laughed, "but I really don' t care."

I felt his length harden against me, and I shifted my hips, making him moan.

"Oh, you think the boss will fire us?" I shifted my hips again.

He gasped, "I'm sure he won't, but he might lose a contract if he isn't at the office for his eight o'clock meeting."

"Oh." I looked up at him and could see the indecision in his eyes. "Don't even think about it." I pushed him away and popped him on his bottom with my hand. "We can't be late. I'm going to take a shower."

"Really?" He pushed me onto the bed, "Not if I get there first."

He took off around the bed, and I dove across it, tumbling to the floor. "Oh, no you don't," I said, and I reached out to grab his leg as he passed. He yelled as he fell, still trying to crawl to the bathroom. I rolled over him and tried to make it through the door, but he grabbed my foot and pulled me under him. We were both laughing hysterically as he rolled and hit his head on the door.

Pinning me down, he reached up with one arm and turned the knob, shoving the door open in one quick movement. Before I knew it, he was on his feet, jumping into the bathroom. I got up but not before he closed the door in my face.

"Oh, come on!" I knocked on the door. "It's _my_ bathroom!"

I could hear him laughing on the other side. "Tell me the secret password and I might just let you in."

"Um…please?"

"Nope…try again."

"Eddie Bear?"

He was silent for a moment, all laughing choked out by my words, and then he opened the door slowly. "Why did you say that?"

"Well, isn't that what I used to call you?"

"Yes, but that was a long time ago. I didn't think you remembered."

"Oh." I looked down. "Well, I didn't necessarily remember. It was in my visions." I looked back up at him. "So, what's the secret password?"

He grinned, "Actually, it's three words…"

I cut him off. "I don't say those words."

His grin dropped, a flicker of confusion formed before he realized what I was saying. "That's not…I mean…"

I then realized he wasn't thinking the same words I was. "Oh, I'm sorry. I…"

"No," he opened the door and turned away. "It's okay, I understand."

"But…what were the words? I want to know."

He kept his back to me. "I was going to ask you to get on your knees and say, 'I'm begging you', but you're already in."

There was an awkward silence before he turned to me, and I could see the pain he was desperately trying to hide.

"I think I'll go home. If I leave now I might make it to work on time."

"No!" I yelled, a bit loudly, and he narrowed his eyes. "I mean, no. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to get ready here."

"My clothes are at home."

"You have some at the office." I raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

He looked hesitant, like he would bolt out the door if I wasn't standing in his way, so I did something I'd never imagined doing. I dropped to my knees, clasped my hands together and looked up at him.

"I'm begging you."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Please stay."

He hesitated, leaning his head back to look at the ceiling, and sighed. I couldn't help it, while he was looking up my eyes scanned his body once more, able to see every muscle in the light. I had to keep myself focused or I would lose it again and attack him, which I couldn't do if he was angry with me.

He looked down at me and a timid grin crossed my lips. There was no returning grin, so I knew he was pissed. He offered his hand, I took it, and he pulled me to my feet.

With a deep sigh, he replied, "Well, I guess I can shower here and get dressed at work."

"Thank you!" I squealed and wrapped my arms around him.

His hold was loose, not at all like the tight embraces of earlier.

 _Damn, you sure know how to ruin things, genius!_ My inner Bella was shaking her head, looking at me in disgust.

Edward turned on the water, checking the temperature before grabbing my hand and pulling me in.

He leaned against the wall and watched as I stood under the shower head, letting the water fall over me. As he watched his eyes became darker, and I could feel myself pulling toward him. Before I knew it, I was wrapped around his body, kissing my way up his neck.

"Bella," he groaned, "please stop."

I realized his hands were balled up at his sides. This wasn't at all what I'd expected. I really knew how to fuck things up. _Thanks a lot!_ My inner Bella was royally pissed. I backed away and turned to let the water flow over me.

I heard him sigh heavily behind me, then I felt his body press against my back, and I could feel what I was doing to him. He was hard against me, and I felt my insides liquefy. He pulled my head back, kissing the side of my neck, while his right hand moved down to my happy spot, sinking deep inside of me, making me cry out.

Before I knew it, he spun me around and I was bent over, hands on the wall, with him behind me. He shoved into me hard and fast, fondling my breasts with his skillful fingers then trailing them down to make small circles on my clit. Within a matter of seconds I felt myself quickening, and I cried out in pleasure.

"Oh, fuck! I'm gonna cum!" My insides tightened around him and his fingers dug into my hips.

"Jesus!" he moaned and I felt him release in me.

It was over before I even knew what hit me. We stood under the running water together, wrapped in each other, for a long moment.

With a quick nod of his head, like he was confirming a thought, he pulled away from me and grabbed the soap, quickly squeezing it onto his hands and pulling me out of the water.

"What…"

And I couldn't finish my question, because his soapy hands were all over me, rubbing every inch of my skin, depositing soap bubbles along the way. He washed me quickly, taking his time only in certain pleasurable areas. He then put shampoo on my hair and massaged my head until it was covered in soap. When he put me under the water, he rubbed away the soap with his hands, making sure I was thoroughly rinsed.

When he was done, I reached over to grab the soap. I was about to squeeze some on my hand, with the intention of returning the favor, when he snatched it from my grip.

"You should get out and start getting dressed. I'm sure it takes you longer to get ready than it takes me, so I'll be out shortly."

I nodded my head. He did have a point.

I got dressed quickly, deciding on a pair of brown slacks and a cream colored blouse. When I came out of my closet, Edward was already dressed in his old clothes, standing by my window, looking out at the morning traffic.

I went to my restroom to brush my hair and teeth. I didn't want Edward to be late, so I pulled my hair back into a clip leaving only a few wavy strands hanging around my face. When I reached for my toothbrush I sucked in a quick breath. It was wet. Edward had used my toothbrush to brush his teeth before serenading me. I wasn't sure if I should be upset or giddy. I think I was a bit of both. In a way, it was gross, but then again, it was the same as kissing him. I smiled, deciding I'd rather be giddy, and brushed my teeth quickly.

When I came out of the restroom, Edward was still standing by my window. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Still in a sour mood, he pulled himself out of my embrace and walked to the bed, sitting down to put on his shoes.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Yes." I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms. He was so cold with me, and our love-making in the shower didn't feel very loving at all. "So," I took a deep breath and waited for him to look at me. When he did, I continued, "Is that what you call fucking? What we did in the shower?"

His eyes widened. "Why would you say that?"

"Because there was no emotion to it at all, that's why."

His jaw clenched and unclenched several times as he finished putting on his second shoe and put his foot on the floor. He looked back at me, his eyes burning with fury. "Yes, that is exactly what fucking is like. However, I recall saying I'd never do that to you. But, since you aren't into the whole love thing, I guess it would make perfect sense for you to assume I'm not either. So, in that case, consider yourself fucked."

With that he stood and stormed out, calling over his shoulder, "I'm sure you can see yourself to work." My front door slammed, and my chest felt heavy.

 _You really know how to screw things up_. Yes, it was something I was very good at. I'd just offended him in the worst possible way, and I needed to explain myself before this conflict turned into something so much bigger than it was.

Walking into the office was nerve-wracking. Leah didn't greet me when I exited the elevator and she completely ignored me when I wished her a good morning. The room went silent as I made my way down the aisle toward Edward's office, conversations resuming the instant I grabbed the doorknob. I caught the dirty looks from Irina and Jessica just before I entered.

Edward was sitting at his desk with his face in his hands. At the sound of my entrance, he looked up.

"Edward, we need to talk."

Alice's timing was impeccable, her voice came over his intercom, "Mr. Masen, your eight o'clock is here."

He pressed the button to speak to her. "Yes, send them to the conference room, I'm on my way."

"Edward…" I tried again, hoping I could at least squeeze a minute or two of explanation in before his meeting.

"I'm busy," he said as he grabbed his briefcase and stood. "I'm going to be in a meeting this morning." He pointed to a stack of folders on his desk. "Please file these," he then pointed to a smaller stack, "and distribute these manuscripts for editing."

He made his way to the door, brushing up against me on his way.

"Wait."

He stopped at my command but did not respond.

"We need to talk."

Turning slowly, he replied, "I have a meeting. It will have to wait."

"But…"

He stepped up to me and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. "It will have to wait," he whispered.

"Okay." I was relieved to feel his anger fading and hoped to have the chance to explain things soon.

I felt a pang in my chest when the door closed behind him. I hated that I'd hurt him, and I wanted to make it better, but how could I explain my reaction to those three words without making it so much worse. I couldn't love. I was afraid to love. Everyone I'd loved was taken from me, and the thought of going through that pain again was excruciating. Though I couldn't remember the exact circumstances of my loss, the pain was always there, lingering in the shadows of my convoluted mind, making itself known at the most inconvenient times.

I sat at his desk, staring at the stacks of folders that needed to be filed, and wondered what it would be like to just let go and give in to the feelings that consumed me every time Edward was near. Honestly, it scared the shit out of me.

To keep my mind occupied, I busied myself with filing. I hadn't even gotten to pass out the manuscripts when Edward stormed into the office and threw his briefcase across the room, knocking over a vase.

I jumped up, nearly falling over the open file drawer in my haste to get to him.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

He started pacing back and forth, running his fingers through his hair.

"I may have lost the contract…a series," he looked at me, eyes burning, "a whole _fucking series_!"

"What happened?"

"I don't know." He took a deep breath. "They have to think about it. Apparently the author has an offer from another agency, and she wants to meet with them before making a decision." He leaned over to pick up his briefcase. "I think they made that up though, I wasn't at my best today." He sighed heavily.

"Are they still here?" I asked.

He turned to me, "What?"

I darted out of the office and saw two men and a woman walking out. I rushed to catch them in the lobby.

"Excuse me." I met them as they were waiting for the elevator.

They all turned to look at me. "Yes," the shorter of the two men responded.

"Hello," I reached out my hand to shake each of theirs, "I'm Isabella Swan. I am Mr. Masen's assistant."

"Oh, yes. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"I just want you to know you are making a huge mistake."

"What?" The man turned to the others and then looked back at me. "Why do you say that?"

"Well… Mr. Masen is in a poor mood today, in case you haven't noticed."

The woman nodded her head. "Yes, he was rather short with us, and I wasn't comfortable, that's why we are going to seek representation elsewhere."

"I understand and respect your decision, but I want you to leave with a clear understanding. You see, it's my fault Mr. Masen is in such a sour mood today."

"Really?" the other man spoke.

"Yes," I blushed, "you see, we are…well…we are dating."

"Ahh…" The two men looked at each other and laughed. The shorter man responded, "And what did you do to put a damper on his good spirits?"

"I um…I refused his advances this morning."

They all laughed, and the woman responded, "Wow, you actually refused _him_? I envy you."

"Hey, woman to woman, you know we have more control. When we are not in the mood, we have the power to say no. If it were up to men, they'd stick it in anything that has a hole."

She laughed. "Oh, I simply love you."

The men chuckled as well. "You have a point dear," the taller one wrapped his arm around the woman. "By the way, I'm Mr. Moretti but you can call me Aro, and this is Miss Giordano and Mr. Giordano.

"But you can call me Jane," she said with a smile.

"And I'm Alec. In case you're wondering," he nudged Jane's arm, "she's my sister."

I noticed the resemblance, they could be twins. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You know," Jane said with a smile as she glanced at Aro and Alec, "I think I'd like this young lady to represent me. Are you an editor Miss Swan?"

"Oh, well, I've only begun working here. Just graduated from college you know."

"Perfect. I'd love a pair of fresh eyes for my work. I'm tired of all the biased bullshit from older editors. I'll sign if you'll be my agent."

"It's up to Mr. Masen," I confessed, "but I'd love to."

She reached out to shake my hand, "Then I'm looking forward. Where shall I sign?"

"Oh, let me get the paperwork for you. Please, have a seat."

They sat down on the chairs in the lobby and waited as I dashed back to Edward's office.

"Edward," I beamed as I rushed through his door.

He looked up from his computer.

"I got them to sign under one condition."

His eyes narrowed, "What's the condition?"

"Miss Giordano wants me to be her editor."

His lips pulled up slightly. "Well, I think we can arrange that. What did you do to change her mind?"

"Oh, I just told them what a huge mistake they were making, and she seemed to like me."

"You certainly have a way with words, Miss Swan."

"Oh, we're back to calling me Miss Swan are we?"

He frowned. "Well, this is your baby, so…" He shoved the folder across his desk. "Go crazy."

I grabbed the folder and made my way back to the lobby with a huge smile across my face. I flipped through all the "sign here" tabs and Jane signed them all. She gave me a hug just before stepping into the elevator.

"I look forward to working very closely with you," she said as the elevator doors closed.

"Me too," I called, through the metal. I'm sure she heard.

"Miss Swan?"

I turned to see Leah smiling at me from her desk. "Yes?"

"I forgot to wish you a good morning, so…good morning."

 _That's convenient_. "Oh, well good morning to you too." _I guess_.

"Have a good day," she called out as I made my way through the doors.

When I returned to the office, Edward had his nose buried in paperwork.

I closed the door and locked it. "Is this a bad time?"

He looked up. "For what?"

"To discuss what happened this morning."

He sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair. "Well, I don't think there ever would be a _good_ time for that, but we need to get it over with sometime so…let me have it."

Making my way slowly over to him, I pushed his chair back a bit and sat on the edge of the desk between his legs. He turned his face, unable to look at me.

"I want to know why you treated me like a piece of meat in the shower this morning," I asked. "I'm not one of your toys."

His eyes narrowed and his lips pressed into a hard line. After a moment of thought he responded. "I didn't mean to treat you that way. I thought you would know that, but I was confused and pissed, and I wasn't in the mood to be all lovey dovey."

"Okay, I can certainly understand that, and I am apologizing for my stupidity." I slipped off the desk, knelt down between his legs, and looked up at him. "Can you forgive me?"

He reached over and stroked my face with his fingertips. "You know you mean more to me than anyone in the world, don't you?"

 _Holy shit! Am I ready for this?_ "Um…sure."

"Please believe I would never want you to feel any less."

"Okay, I believe you, but…about what pissed you off…"

"No." He pushed his chair back a bit. "I don't want to talk about it."

"We need to. I need you to understand." I scooted up to him once again, placing my hands on his thighs. "I can't say those words, because I can't…I mean, I'm having trouble dealing with…um…I'm…scared."

He leaned forward and cupped my face in his hands. "What are you afraid of?"

"Losing everything that means anything to me."

"I've been there, Bella, and I'm tired of being afraid. I want this. I want you. And it doesn't matter how long it takes for you to open up to me, I'll wait for you."

"You're going to have to be very patient."

"I've waited for you for seven years. I think I can wait a bit longer."

I gasped. "Seven years?"

He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. "Seven _agonizing_ years."

I sighed against his mouth as it wrapped around mine in a sweet, sensual kiss. Just as our bliss started to deepen, the sweetness evolving into a rough expression of our passion, there was a knock at the door.

Edward pulled back. "Yes?" he called.

The doorknob rattled.

"Oh," I gasped, "I locked the door."

He grinned. "I'm glad." Leaning forward, he kissed me again, pulling the clip off the back of my head and running his hands into my hair, securing my face as his tongue slipped into my mouth to play.

Another knock made him groan and pull away from me. He huffed in irritation and yelled, " _What_?"

"Edward?" Alice's small voice came through the door. "You have a visitor."

He stood and pulled me up, leading me to the door. Looking down at me, he grinned, "We can talk later," he whispered, giving me a chaste kiss before turning to open the door.

I wasn't paying any attention to the visitor, because I was too busy looking at Edward's face. His smile vanished and he growled, "What the fuck do you want?"

I turned to see Tanya standing in the doorway. "Oh, I just wanted to show you something."

She held out a photo. One look and the world spun, the office walls blurring in my vision. The last thing I heard was Edward's frantic voice. "Bella? Bella?" Then a shroud of darkness consumed me.


	12. Chapter 12 - Switch

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Welcome to the wonderful world of Edward and Bella!

 _ **Chapter 12 - Switch**_

Through the darkness, I heard Edward growl, a string of profanities filling my ears. Tanya laughed, "You're so sexy when you're angry, Edward."

I wanted to jump up and beat the shit out of her, rearrange her face, but the darkness got heavier, sucking me deeper into unconsciousness, until I was sure I was dreaming.

" _Happy Birthday," I whispered._

" _There is nothing happy about this day."_

 _My response came out choked. "Nothing?" I looked up at Edward, but he closed his eyes and sighed._

" _Only one thing." He kissed me lightly. "Please, stay with me," he murmured against my lips._

" _I have to go," I sobbed, allowing my tears to fall freely, soaking his shirt as I leaned against his chest._

" _There has to be a way."_

" _There isn't." I looked up into Edward's agonized eyes. "He's waiting."_

 _We stood on the porch of the orphanage, wrapped in each other, and I could feel myself falling into him, wanting to crawl beneath his skin and disappear._

 _A car honked, the man behind the wheel was impatient, making me nervous. I'd already said my goodbyes to everybody else, but they were simple attachments that could be rebuilt elsewhere. This was one goodbye I couldn't handle._

 _Edward ran his fingers through my hair. "This can't be happening. This isn't happening. I'm having a nightmare." A strangled sob escaped his parted lips._

 _I looked up at him. "I wish you were…I wish we both were."_

 _He glanced around, looking for inspiration. When his eyes found mine, they were determined. "I won't lose you. I can't. We can run away. Right now. We can go somewhere together."_

 _I shook my head. "We have nowhere to go. Please be realistic."_

" _I can't lose you too. You're all I have."_

 _A deep sob wracked my chest and I ran my hands up his head, fisting his hair. "That's not true. Everyone here loves you."_

" _They don't matter."_

" _Don't say that."_

 _The car honked again, and I flinched with the sound. "I promise I'll come back for you. I promise."_

 _He leaned forward and kissed me deeply. All of our need, our desire surged between us, and I felt myself giving in, deciding to make a run for it…with him. Something inside of me broke, and I sobbed into his mouth. He broke the kiss to whisper those three words. "I love you."_

 _I wrapped myself around him, wishing time could stop or we that we would both die in each other's arms so we could stay together forever. "I love you too," I whispered against his ear._

Edward's voice cut through my dream. "Bella, come on baby, wake up."

I tried to find him, but I couldn't escape.

 _Still enveloped in my memory, I turned to face my future, walking down the sidewalk toward the black car with dark windows. My broken heart begged me to look back. I knew it would be a mistake, an image I would never forget, but I gave in and turned to take one last look at him._

 _Edward raised his hand out to me, as if he could pull me back with sheer will. I backed up to the car, opening the door and sliding in without taking my eyes off of him. When I closed the door, his head dropped to his chest, his hand still stretched out toward me, and I felt myself rip apart inside and out._

 _I turned to face my uncle, and at the sight of his face, I screamed._

" _NOOOOOOOO!"_

"Bella?" I felt someone shaking my shoulders. "Bella, please come back to me."

My head felt like it'd been trampled by elephants. Swaying it side to side, I tried to make my eyelids obey, but they wouldn't open. His face, the face of my uncle wouldn't leave me. I didn't remember him, but I knew I hated him, feared him, wanted him dead.

I felt myself choking, I couldn't breathe. I gasped, but air would not find me.

" _You're my uncle; you're supposed to love me." I could have sworn the words left my lips, but I heard no sound. I only saw his hideous face before me. Why does my body hurt? Where is the pain coming from? Is he…cutting me?! NOOOOOO!_

I lurched up, almost falling off the couch, but Edward caught me. We were still in the office, but we were alone. He sat me up and scooted next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"What?" I looked around, confused. "Where's Tanya?"

"I had her escorted the fuck out. She had no business coming here."

I pulled my blouse up, looking at the thin white lines that crossed my stomach, barely visible in the dim light of the office.

"What happened?" Edward asked. "You were having a pretty vivid dream."

"He cut me?" I asked.

Edward glanced at something he had crumpled up in his fist. "I don't know." He looked into my eyes. "You tell me."

That was one reason why I didn't want to know what happened to me. I had thin scars all over my body, so I knew my past wasn't a good one, and now I was going to have to face it head on.

"The picture," I pointed to his hand. "Is that it?"

"Yes."

"It triggered some memories."

His eyes widened. "What memories? Tell me."

I told him everything, in detail, down to the pain I felt at the hands of my uncle. He sat patiently, nodding his head as if confirming the events that led up to my departure.

"I never knew what happened to you after you left." He sighed heavily. "I ran away…tried looking for you, but I could never find you. Every lead I got took me to a place you had been. I thought it was strange that you moved so often. James never kept you in one place."

"James?" I interrupted. "That's his name?"

"Yes."

"I didn't remember," though the sound of his name did give me chills.

"Esme eventually found me, brought me back home, and adopted me. But I never stopped hoping. I never really stopped looking for you. That fucker was just so damn good at keeping you from me."

"James…" I said his name, tasting bile on my tongue.

I reached over and pulled the crumpled up photo from his hand. When I opened it, a chill coursed through my body followed by a wave of heat. The blond man stared back at me with dark eyes and a cocky smile. I wanted to rip the smile off his face, to pull his guts out and feed it to him. I'd never had thoughts so violent in my life.

I tore the photo in half and screamed.

Edward wrapped his arms around me. "Shh…it's okay." He rocked me back and forth, rubbing soothing circles on my back.

I sighed. "I guess I should just be glad he can't hurt me anymore."

Edward stiffened in my arms.

"Edward?"

He squeezed me tight and growled, "No, I would never let anyone hurt you."

I felt him tremble and I pulled away. "Edward, are you okay?"

"He won't find you…he won't hurt you…I'll _fucking kill him_!"'

"Shit! Edward, snap out of it."

His furious gaze came back from whatever place his mind had taken him and he found me. "I'm…I'm sorry," he mumbled and stood up, nervously shoving his hands in his pockets as he began pacing the room.

Fear suddenly began to prick at me, shivers running through my nerves, every hair standing on end. "Edward? James can't hurt me. Right? I'm safe?"

He stopped pacing and looked at me, my fears confirmed in his worried gaze.

"No…no, no, no, no…" I started shaking my head furiously, "no, no, no, no."

He was by my side, with me wrapped in his arms, rocking me once again. "That's why Tanya was here. She sent a warning."

"A warning?"

"Yes." He grabbed my face with both hands, staring into my eyes with an intensity I'd never known before; he was going to convey something very important. "Stay calm. Just listen."

I nodded my head.

"Tanya is infatuated with me and she's furious because I have chosen you. She knows James and threatened to tell him where you are if I don't…" He didn't finish, just stared at me.

"If you don't what?"

He dropped his hands from my face, wrapping them around me. "She wants me to fire you...to never see you again. She wants me to choose her."

" _What_?"

"I didn't agree, of course. I told her to fuck off. Bella, there's nothing she can do. I won't let her separate us."

"Is she postal?"

He laughed, but it lacked humor, "Yes, I believe she is." His face turned serious. "You will not leave my sight until James is apprehended. Do you understand me?"

"Edward…"

"Do you _fucking_ understand me?"

Shit! The switch flipped and he was turning red, flames flashed behind his eyes.

He growled, "You will either stay at my place or I at yours, but you will not be out of my sight. _Do. You. Understand. Me_?"

"Yes," I whimpered, afraid of his reaction to the situation.

"No," he soothed, pulling me against him. "I'm sorry, it's just…I _need_ to protect you. You don't understand. You won't die, he won't hurt you…" He started shaking, so I rubbed his back, trying to calm him.

"Shh…" I whispered in his ear. "Everything will be okay."

"He won't hurt you." He kept repeating it over and over again. "He won't hurt you."

"Edward?"

He wasn't responding, he just kept repeating, "He won't hurt you."

I let him hold me, worried because he wasn't reacting to anything I said. "Edward, please."

"No," he groaned, "He won't hurt you. I'll save you. I can save you…MOM!"

 _Mom_? Shit! He wasn't with me, he was somewhere else.

"Mom!" He trembled in my arms. "Get your fucking hands off her!"

I pushed away from him and peered into his eyes. They were glazed over, somewhere else.

"Shit!" I jumped up and hit the call button on his phone, "Alice! I need you in here now!"

Within seconds Alice flew through the door.

"Oh no, not again," she moaned as she knelt before him. "Edward?" She snapped her fingers in front of his face, and it didn't even faze him. He didn't blink or flinch or even acknowledge her presence.

"Again? What do you mean, _again_?" I sat next to him and pulled his head to my shoulder, rubbing his back with my hand.

"This used to happen to him back when you were…um…well, when he felt like he couldn't protect you."

"Protect me from what?"

She glanced back and forth from his face to mine. "Um…I think I should get Carlisle." She stood and scurried out of the room without a glance back.

It took a bit longer than I thought for her to return with Carlisle. I sat, rocking Edward in my arms in the same manner he'd done with me until they emerged through the door.

Carlisle knelt before him, pulling his face around to gaze into his eyes. "Edward? Can you hear me?"

"Where's my mom?" he asked.

"She's gone, Edward, you know that."

"No…I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't…"

"It's not your fault. Edward, come back to us."

"No…I wasn't strong enough. I…" He glanced around the room, awareness finally setting on his eyes. "Bella?"

"I'm right here."

He turned to me, "Oh, Bella!" He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. "Don't ever leave me again."

"I won't…I promise."

I looked to Carlisle who smiled and stood. "Take care of him, Bella. You really are all he has right now."

I nodded.

"Alice filled me in on the Tanya situation."

"How did Alice…"

She smiled. "I know things, Bella. Call it intuition."

Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. "Rest assured I will take care of Tanya. She will not bother you again."

"Thank you."

Alice gave me an encouraging smile as she and Carlisle left the office.

 _Shit_! How the hell was I supposed to take care of him when I couldn't even take care of myself? I was falling into this relationship faster than I'd imagined…too fast. I felt Edward sigh against my neck and realized this was where I was supposed to be. In my vision, my memory, I'd promised to come back to him. Whether I remembered it or not, I kept my promise. I was back, and I couldn't leave him now.

He held me for a long time, eventually falling asleep in my arms. I scooted out of his grip, laying him down, pushing his feet up onto the sofa. I made my way to his desk and sat, staring at him until the phone rang.

 _Shit! Do I answer it?_ I wasn't quite sure, but I did.

"Mr. Masen's office, how can I help you?"

A friendly woman's voice came through the line, "Is this Miss Swan?"

"Yes, it is."

"This is Jane."

"Oh, hello, Jane. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I am going to be out of town for a couple of weeks, so I won't be in touch with you until I return. I will leave my manuscripts with Leah. No rush, love."

"Oh, well…" I looked at Edward lying on the sofa and the decision came instantly. "Actually that is perfect. I am going on vacation for a few weeks. I was planning on cancelling my vacation for you, but since you'll be out of town anyway…"

"That's absolutely perfect! Now I won't feel guilty about not being available. I'll contact you when I return and we can start then."

"That's great. Thanks so much for understanding."

"No, thank you, Miss Swan. Until then…"

"Until then."

I hung up the phone with a sigh and noticed Edward's wallet on the corner of his desk. I lifted it and ran my fingers across the leather, tracing the EM on the lower corner. People say, "curiosity killed the cat." Well, if I were a cat, I would have been dead a million times over.

I flipped open the wallet and gasped. The first picture in his photo album was a picture of me in my teens. I flipped through and the next four pictures were of the two of us. My heart picked up pace, my hands shaking as I stared at the beautiful faces of two teens in love. Love… I must have really loved him. I could see it in the eyes of my former self. I felt and even confessed it in my vision…my memories, or whatever was left of them. He knew what we had, and he kept the evidence in his wallet, carrying them with him every day, and I had nothing. I truly hated myself. As I stared at each picture, trying to force something from my clouded mind, I hoped someday I could live up to what we once had, even if I never remembered.

The last two photos surprised me. One was of Esme standing with a group of kids in front of the orphanage. I recognized Alice, Mike, Edward, and I among the group, but I was surprised to see Jacob in the picture as well. The last photo brought tears to my eyes. It was a young boy, maybe seven or eight, with his arms wrapped around a woman. The woman had an uncanny resemblance to Edward, and I instantly knew it was him and his mother. My heart twisted, and I wanted to cry.

I closed his wallet, placed it back where it was, and pushed the button to call Alice.

"Yes?"

"Alice, Edward and I would like to take a small vacation. Is that possible?"

"Oh! Well, yes. Mr. Cull…I mean, Carlisle can sign in his place, and I will handle the rest. Is he okay? Can I talk to him?"

"Actually, he's sleeping."

"Really? I'll have to cancel his one o'clock…or I can just handle the meeting myself." She paused. "You know what? As soon as he wakes up, I'll have a car ready for the two of you."

"Thanks, Alice."

"No problem."

Edward stirred. I hung up the phone and rushed to his side.

"Edward?" I pushed his hair out of his face. "Edward, can you hear me?"

His eyes fluttered open and he stretched. "What?" He looked around the room. "What happened?"

He sat up and rubbed his face. "Where's…." His eyes widened. "Fuck! Where's Tanya?"

"She's gone." I sat next to him. "Do you remember anything that happened after Tanya's visit?"

"What do you mean?" He looked around the room once more and saw the torn picture of James on the floor. "What the hell happened?"

"You fell asleep."

"Shit! I'm sorry. I didn't sleep at all last night."

"What?"

He ran his fingers across my face. "How could I sleep with you next to me? I couldn't stop staring at you."

I couldn't help it, I smiled. "I have a confession to make."

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay…"

I grinned sheepishly. "We are taking a vacation."

"We are?"

"Yes. For a few weeks."

"But…"

I placed my finger over his lips. "Alice will handle things. Everything has been taken care of here. Now, I need to take care of you."

"Really?" A naughty grin spread across his face. "And how do you plan on taking care of me?"

 _Oh, he is a bad, bad man!_ "Well…"

It was his turn to place his finger over my lips. "Never mind. I have a place I want to take you. You can take care of me there."

His eyes lit up like a child at an amusement park, and I knew we wouldn't make it out of the office without relieving our pent up passion first.

Just as I suspected, he ran his hands into my hair, pulling my head back to access my throat. His lips travelled up my neck and behind my ear. He nibbled my lobe and his raspy breath made me whimper.

"I want you now," he groaned.

"Take me," I breathed.


	13. Chapter 13 - Interruption

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Life has been insane, so you are going to have to be VERY patient with my chapters. I will try to get them up as soon as humanly possible. I love you all and thank you for continuing to read my story.

 _ **Chapter 13 - Interruption**_

There is nothing in the world I can compare to the feel of Edward's kiss. The soft, sensual way his mouth molded against mine, slow and warm, sucking in my bottom lip and nibbling on the pink tissue, making my insides tingle.

His left hand held my face to his while his right slid down my neck, over my breast, and to the hem of my shirt, sliding up to run across my stomach. I moaned as his fingers made their way into my bra, tugging lightly at my peak, twisting it deftly between two fingers. I arched my back, pushing into his hand, and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling myself against him.

 _Oh, shit!_ The feel of him hard against me made my juices flow. I wanted him in me so badly. He groaned into my mouth and I lost all control. I shoved him against the back of the couch and crawled over him, feeling his length pressed against me in just the right spot. _Ooooh…_ I needed to keep myself focused.

I sat back to gaze at him and his hungry eyes spoke to my body. With one look he made my insides liquefy. But, I didn't want to relinquish control. Button by button my fingers traveled up his shirt, exposing his beautiful flesh for my eyes to drink in. His hands were on my thighs, fingers digging into me as I traced his chest. Our breaths came hard as I shifted my hips, grinding into him, causing him to moan. His eyes moved to my heaving chest, my breasts concealed behind layers of material, so I reached for the hem of my blouse and pulled it up and over my head. He sucked in a deep breath as I reached back to unfasten my bra. Slowly, I slid it off, dropping it to the floor.

Edward gasped, as if he'd never seen me exposed before, and his hands were on me, pulling me so his lips could meet my mounts. Sucking roughly, like a hungry animal, he tugged and nibbled at each one, groaning against my skin. He shifted his hips, giving me the friction I so desperately needed and I moaned into his hair.

No sooner had the sensual sound escaped me, I was flipped onto my back, Edward between my legs, staring into my eyes as he reached down to unbutton my slacks. His hand slid under the material, smoothly finding my spot, his finger flicking lightly over my pleasure valley.

He gazed at me, watching as I arched my back, shifting my sex into his hand, gasping for breath. He slid one finger in, circling the walls inside of me while massaging my clit with his thumb. A tremor passed through my body as pure ecstasy raged from my core through my limbs. I groaned when he stopped, my pleasure button crying out to be pushed, but disappointment didn't linger. He raised his finger to his mouth and sucked on it.

"Mmmm…you taste so fucking good," he groaned, then reached down and pushed my slacks and lace panties down my legs with one hand. I kicked them off with my feet as he removed the rest of his clothing and leaned over me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For what?"

He kissed his way from my chin to my ear. "For this morning," he breathed. "I should never rush being with you."

He sucked on my earlobe and I moaned, running my hands into his hair and fisting it. My already racing heart picked up pace as he slowly pushed his way into me.

"Oh, fuuuuck!" he groaned as he filled me.

Pleasure soared through my veins like an electric current, lighting up my insides as he pulled out and thrust into me again and again. My hands traveled down his back, my fingernails digging into him as I reached to squeeze his ass, and he pumped harder and faster into me, igniting me with each thrust.

I ran my hands up his back, dragging my nails against his skin and he hissed. My nails continued their course, running up and into his hair. His eyes met mine and he grinned, a wicked, sexy ass grin, before his mouth dove to meet mine.

Time seemed to cease for us as we made love on the office sofa, my sweaty back and ass stuck to the leather. But comfort was of no importance, because this beautiful man was in me, our bodies merging, and the thought of it ending was nearly painful. I shook away the thought and focused on his eyes, boring into mine between sensual kisses, his lips, traveling across my skin, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

The end was near, I could feel it deep within, and I tried desperately to hold it at bay, wanting the moment to last a bit longer, but I felt his body tighten, his fingers digging into my hips, and he gasped for air.

"Cum with me, baby," Edward murmured, and I let go, feeling him fill me as my insides contracted around him.

He groaned softly and I cried out in pleasure, a bit louder than I should have. He stiffened, placing his hand over my mouth as a knock rapped at the door.

"Edward?"

The unlocked door opened and Edward jumped up, grabbing a folder from the desk and holding it in front of his erection. I rolled over, grabbing the first thing I could find to cover myself with…his shirt.

Alice's head was turned, speaking in an irritated tone to someone as she entered. "Just let me see if he's…" then she gasped, realizing what she'd walked in on and turned to shove a very stunned woman out of the office.

"Shit! Fuck!" Edward stepped up to the door and peeked out, speaking in hushed whispers to Alice through the opening.

He closed the door and leaned against it, squeezing his eyes shut and groaning in frustration.

I burst into laughter, rolling off the sofa and onto the floor.

"What's so funny?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

My giggles continued, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't stop laughing, especially at the sight of him standing against the door, holding the folder against his package.

He locked the door and tossed the folder on the floor, papers scattering everywhere as he made his way back to me.

The wild look in his eyes caught me by surprise. I sat up, letting the shirt I was covering myself with drop to the floor.

He stopped in front of me, my eyes level with his still solid erection. I swallowed hard and looked up at him as he stood over me, staring down with an intense look of amusement in his eyes. Reaching down, he grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet.

"I said…what's so funny?" he breathed as he licked my ear.

I moaned as his warm, wet tongue traveled down.

"Um…" I tried to respond. "Uh…"

He sucked on my neck and I felt my insides tingle once more. "I'll give you a reason to laugh," he whispered against my skin. Then his fingers were on my sides, running up my ribs, like a feather fluttering against my skin. I bit my lip, trying desperately to remain in control, until I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I burst into a fit of giggles as Edward tickled me, and I curled up into him, trying desperately to catch my breath.

"Ed…ward…I…" I gasped, "can't…breathe…" I continued gasping and laughing loudly until he stopped tickling me, pulling me into his chest.

The beating of his racing heart against my ear was the most significant sound I'd ever heard. It was like listening to my favorite song. His laughter combined with his heartbeat would forever be etched on my heart, and for an instant I recalled it as a feeling from my past.

I gasped, "Edward!"

He ran his fingers through my hair as I gazed up into his eyes. "Yes?"

"I…" I took a deep breath. "I remember something."

My heart melted in the magnificence of his smile. His eyes lit up. "What is it?"

I placed my hand on his chest. "Well, it's not exactly a memory. It's more like a feeling. Your heartbeat and…a song…they are connected, they make me feel..." I couldn't say the word, even though I had a feeling it was the exact emotion to describe what I felt, I just couldn't bring myself to say it.

He leaned his forehead against mine. "Our song."

"Our second song," I reminded him, "not the diner song."

He chuckled, "Yes, our second song."

"Why can I remember your heart being tied to a song, but not the song itself?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I wish I could explain it for you."

"Can you tell me the story?"

He grinned, "Sure," he ran his hands across my back, "but first we should get dressed."

"Oh…right. I guess storytelling would be easier if we weren't distracted by our lack of clothing."

"Well, I don't mind _that_ distraction," he said, grabbing my bottom.

I giggled and twisted away from him. "Me neither, but I really want to focus on the story."

We dressed quickly, and just in time. As Edward leaned over to kiss me, another knock interrupted our moment.

"Well, at least we're decent," he murmured against my lips and grinned as he turned to answer the door. He seemed so happy, almost glowing in bliss, and the sight made my heart leap for joy.

Alice peeked in. "Are you ready?"

"Um…yeah, send her in."

 _Her_? I was lost, so focused on him I'd forgotten there was a woman waiting to see Edward.

"Do you want me to…" I pointed toward my office, ready to excuse myself.

"No," he motioned with his hand toward the sofa, "sit."

I sat down, but my nerves woke up and decided to throw a party. My feet tapped against the floor and I twisted my fingers together as an uneasy feeling came over me. There is no way to explain how; I just knew something was wrong.

"Hello, Mr. Masen," the woman walked through the door and glanced at me quickly before extending her hand to Edward, "my name is Victoria Lefevre."

She was beautiful, pale white with fiery red curls hanging loosely around her thin face. Her green eyes were determined, her smile piercing, her figure one to be admired.

Edward shook her hand, "Ms. Lefevre, what can I do for you today?"

"Actually," she glanced at me once more, "I'm here to do something for you."

"Really," his brow furrowed and he rubbed his chin, "and what exactly is that?"

"Well," one more glance my way, and I was shifting nervously in my seat, "I'd prefer that we speak alone."

He chuckled darkly, "Ms. Lefevre…"

"Please, call me Victoria."

" _Ms. Lefevre_ ," he made it a point to show his irritation, "there is nothing you can say to me that can't be said in front of my girlfriend."

She huffed loudly. "It has to do with your parents."

His posture changed, his body folding into itself. He seemed to cringe away from her words as he sucked in several quick breaths. Blood drained from his face and he closed his eyes buckling over, covering his face with his hands. I was afraid he was going to panic again, so I jumped up and grabbed him, pulling his face up to mine. In his eyes I found true fear and anguish, and my heart twisted painfully within my chest.

"Edward?"

Having ceased his breathing, he took in a quick, rasping breath. "Bella," he managed through clenched teeth, "please leave."

"But…"

He grabbed my hands and pulled them from his face, holding them at my sides. "Leave," he growled.

I took a step back, understanding his command but unwilling to comply. I wanted to know what this woman had to say about his parents. Not wanting to upset him further, I turned and fled, marching my way to Alice's cubicle.

She was sitting on the edge of her desk, arms crossed, deep in thought.

"What the fuck is going on?" I snapped at her.

She looked up at me, eyes wide. "Bella, I'm so sorry. She didn't wait for me to call Edward; she just barged in here and made a bee line for his office. I tried to intercept her, hoping I could forewarn you, but…" she blushed, "I'm really sorry I interrupted you two."

"It's okay," I sighed, "we were already done anyway."

"Seriously?" she grinned widely.

"Yes," I rolled my eyes, "seriously."

She squealed and clapped her hands, and then she gasped. "Was it your first time?" She held up her hand to stop me from responding. "No. Don't tell me, I really shouldn't have asked."

I was about to open my mouth when she continued. "It wasn't was it?"

I didn't even say a word, I just raised an eyebrow and she went off in excited whispers. "Oh, I _knew_ it wasn't your first time! I can just sense these things. I mean, the way you two are together…ugh! It's like, there's this aura around the two of you. You know? Like you were always meant to be!" She blushed once more and giggled, "So, how many times? Three? Four?"

She may have been right on both counts. If Edward and I weren't meant to be together, I wouldn't have found him and jumped into a relationship so quickly, and we _had_ slept together three or four times…four if you counted the one before I lost my memory. Maybe there would be more… I smiled at my own musings.

I was about to respond when Edward's door flew open and he stormed out, his voice thundering through the office. "You're a fucking liar!"

The entire office went silent, astonished witnesses to Edward's fury.

"Wait!" Victoria yelled, charging after him. "You must understand."

He walked up to me and spun around to face her. Responding at full volume, he threw his arms in the air. "What is there to understand?" His hands balled up and he slammed one on Alice's desk. "FUCK! You just don't know when to quit do you? I told you dumbasses what happened. What, the fuck, are you doing digging up shit?"

"Mr. Masen, please…"

"NO!" He pointed at himself, jabbing his chest with his finger. "I was there…I was there!" He ran his hands into his hair, fisting it and pulling. "I'm not crazy. I know what I saw, so just leave it the fuck alone!"

"Please understand…" she reached out to touch his arm and he yanked it away from her.

His voice was rough, livid, but no longer at full volume. "I don't understand." He raised his hand to point at her face. "You think you're helping me?" He turned and looked at me. With a small grin he reached out and pulled me into his side, kissing the top of my head. "You see this woman?"

Victoria's eyes glanced quickly at me then back to him.

"She is the _only_ one who can." He pulled me around and dragged me with him toward the lobby. "Leave it the fuck alone," he called over his shoulder as we walked through the door and to the elevator.

The elevator doors closed and he pulled me against him. Leaning my head against his chest, I stared at our blurred reflection in the metal doors and took a deep breath. I wanted to ask what happened, but he was breathing heavily, still angry. Regardless of his mood, I desperately wanted to know what was going on.

"Are you going to explain what happened back there?"

His breathing stopped.

"Edward?" I looked up at him.

He glanced down at me and then away, his breathing resumed. "Eventually." Running his hands across my back, he sighed, "Yes…eventually."

Just knowing that he was going to explain things to me at some point was enough to satiate my curiosity...for a while.

We were silent as we made our way to Edward's car, and I fought the urge to speak as we drove off into the unknown. Well, unknown to me. I had no idea where he was taking me and he was still brooding, so I kept my mouth shut.

I recognized the direction we were headed after a few turns. He was taking me home. When we pulled up to my building, I finally spoke.

"What are we doing here?"

He got out of the car without a word and opened my door for me. I sat, staring up at him.

He huffed loudly. "We are going to go away for a while. You did say we were going on vacation, didn't you?"

I nodded my head.

"Well, you're going to need to pack."

I got out of the car, not looking at him as I headed for my apartment. I could feel him behind me, but he kept his distance.

In my apartment, I went straight to my closet and started throwing various items of clothing into a duffel bag, not really paying much attention to what I was packing. As I made my way toward the bathroom to pack other necessities, I noticed Edward sitting on my bed next to my nightstand staring down at something. His back was to me, so I wasn't sure what he was looking at.

I crept around the bed, not wanting to interrupt him, and found him holding the picture of us in one hand and my box in the other. Either he saw me in his peripheral or he sensed me, because he looked my way.

"May I?" he asked, holding up the box.

I wasn't sure how he'd react, but I nodded my head. There was no reason for me to keep it from him.

He pulled the lid off and peeked inside, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"It's your hair." I moved to sit next to him. "I took it off your brush when I'd stayed at your house." I looked at his profile, watching as his confusion evolved into amusement.

"My hair…" It wasn't a question. He put the picture and box down and reached into his pants to pull out his wallet. I watched as he opened it, my picture staring up at us. He pointed to it. "This was the first picture you gave me. You were fifteen, and god I was smitten." He flipped to the next two. "This one was our first date. You were just about to turn sixteen. As you can see it's from a photo booth. We'd gone to the carnival." He sighed, "When I asked you out, I couldn't believe you'd said yes." He pointed to the next one. "This was at your birthday party. Alice took a million pictures of us, said she just knew we'd be together forever. I was so mad at her, because I'd just asked you to be mine, and I thought she'd scare you away with all that together forever talk."

His hands started shaking and I reached my arm around him. With trembling fingers he flipped to the next two pictures. Pointing to the first one, he took in a deep breath before speaking. "This was a week before my seventeenth birthday. We were on the beach with a group from the home. I had a hard time containing myself at the sight of you in that bikini, and look at me…" He shook his head as if he felt he wasn't good enough to be standing next to me. It was insanity. I couldn't imagine _myself_ being good enough for _him_.

I looked at the picture. He was so lanky, but beautiful beyond description. I couldn't understand what the fuck he saw in me. I was no beauty queen, but looking at the picture, we just seemed to fit together. Our bliss could not be mistaken for anything other than what it was…sincere and unadulterated.

He swallowed thickly and pointed to the last picture. "This was my birthday, just before we…" He ran his hand through his hair. "You hadn't told me you were leaving yet." I could see the distress in his eyes. Talking about this was bothering him more than I could fathom.

As I looked down at the picture, I could see the difference in my eyes compared to the other photos. His were joyful, unaware of the impending circumstances that would separate us, the same as every other picture, but mine were dull, sorrowful, already imagining my life away from him.

Anger and disgust bubbled up inside of me. He had so many memories, regardless of the positive or negative impact they had, they were stored away for him to pull out at any given moment. I had nothing.

"I can't remember a fucking thing," I grumbled.

Edward turned to me. "That's not necessarily a bad thing you know. We can build new memories together."

"It isn't the same."

He swallowed thickly. "I don't know what the fuck you see in me. I'm a prick, Bella. Though I want you to remember what we had…more than you know…I'm so afraid."

"Of what?"

He turned, facing me full on. "When you remember what we had, the way I was before…" He took in a quivering breath, gazing into my eyes. "I'm afraid you'll see what I've become and run away. I'm not the same person I once was." He reached up and stroked the side of my face. "But you…you may not remember who you were, but you are the very same woman I fell in love with, right down to the way you bite your lip when you're nervous."

I hadn't noticed I was biting my lip, in fact, I never really noticed biting my lip. I released it from between my teeth and blushed.

"How can you be so sure I'd leave you?" I asked, reaching up to touch the side of his face.

He closed his eyes briefly, sighing heavily. "I'm not."

Though I was afraid to fall completely for this beautiful man, to give my heart, I knew I could never consciously cause him pain. I vowed at that moment, as we gazed into each other's eyes, I would never leave him.

A long moment passed before he looked back down at his wallet. He flipped to the last two pictures. "This is a group picture at the home, and this…" He pointed to the last picture. "This is me and my mom." He stared at it for a minute before he reached under the photo and pulled out a small wad of hair. Holding it up, he whispered, "This is her hair. I saved it, to remember the color. Photos don't always do justice, and this picture may fade someday." He shoved it back behind her picture and flipped back to the first photo of me. Reaching into the sleeve, behind the picture, he pulled out another small wad of hair. "This is yours."

I remembered the day he took my hair - it was the same day I'd taken his.

He stared at it for a long moment before placing it back behind my picture and shoving his wallet back in his pants. He turned and kissed me lightly on my forehead.

"If you ever leave me," he whispered, "I…"

"Shhh…" I placed my finger over his lips. "Remember, I'm yours until you dump my sorry ass."

My favorite crooked grin appeared. "I'll never dump your _sexy_ ass."

"Is that a guarantee, Mr. Masen?"

He leaned forward and whispered against my lips, "It's a promise, Miss Swan."

Then his lips moved slowly against mine, and I should have gotten lost in the moment, but something bothered me. As I looked past Edward, I focused my eyes on the side table and realized something was missing.

I gently pulled away from him. "Where's your manuscript?"

"What manuscript?"

I pointed to the table. "Your story was under the picture and box you were looking at. What did you do with it?"

He spun around to look at the table then quickly turned back to me, alarm in his eyes. "There was no manuscript."

A crashing sound came from my bathroom and both of our heads snapped toward the door.

Someone was in my apartment.


End file.
